Recent Posts

"Do I Sound Gay" Movie Review


Monday, Apr 02, 2018 - 12:08:38 am


David Thorpe’s documentary, “Do I Sound Gay?” aims to discover the notion of one’s voice being an identifier for a man’s sexual orientation, raising some intriguing perceptions concerning about speaker’s intentions and listener’s assumptions. The film mainly touches on issues such as self-hatred, discrimination and insecurity in linguistics on the surface but did not venture deeper which I would Read more →

Categories: i feel love

Are we talking about food?


Sunday, Apr 01, 2018 - 11:54:41 pm

“Girl, you’re thicker than a bowl of oatmeal.” One might ask; ‘How is a thick of bowl of oatmeal a compliment?’ or ‘What has oatmeal got to do with the female body?’. Well, the answers to those questions may be in this post.

The association of food to sex has always been discussed throughout history. From the Read more →

Categories: i feel love

I agree that food has been sexualized on so many levels. Gone were the days when buns referred to literal flour-bread things or cream as an equivalent to whipped cream (oh wait, whipped cream?...) It is also interesting how in the past, food-talk was utilized to convey sexual messages as a form of 'alternative' to the taboo topic of sex but now times have changed! The rise of media such as in lyrics of songs has an essential part in normalizing this food-sex relation. Nowadays, both food and sex are mashed up together to directly send out a sexually charged notion. Take for example the beautiful jhene aiko who told a dude to eat her booty like groceries. I don't see any form of implicitness no more!


a feminist glossary


Tuesday, Mar 27, 2018 - 12:48:08 pm

here is a link to a recent article which introduces some terms which are relevant for understanding and discussing feminism, gender and sexuality – some are established, academic terms found in the relevant literature; others are more recent lexical innovations that have recently originated ‘online’…

thoughts, comments?

Categories: food for thought
My understanding of feminism has never been extremely deep and wide. One of the things I actually felt proud of knowing about feminism is that it doesn't actually mean that women are the better sex over men, but that it simply means that we believe that men and women should have  equal rights and opportunities. Reading this post however, I felt was just really enlightening because I was never so aware of the different layers and terms that actually existed within our vocabulary to talk about certain specific things in feminism. So I'd just like to share my favourite, most enlightening term that I picked up from this article. benevolent sexism! This is a term that I was extremely thrilled to discover. I've always felt that benevolent sexism existed, and I've definitely felt the effects of it, but I never knew that there was actually an actual term to define it, and I couldn't quite put my experiences with it into words.  I mean, it's confusing, it's rooted in a compliment. It left me feeling a mix of positive and negative emotions whenever I was told for example, 'oh women are just better at raising children, they're more nurturing'. Yes, it was a good thing, and it did fit into the stereotypical traits of a woman, but I always felt uncomfortable too. What if I'm not nurturing, what if I'm not good at raising children, what if I don't fit into that stereotype, wait why even did I have to fit into such a stereotype? However, I was never actually sure whether this discomfort that I was feeling was legitimate, because I was being complimented. However, after reading the definition in this glossary, and doing a little more reading into what benevolent sexism is, I feel much better informed about how it works as it seems to paint this restrictive image of how women should be, leading there to be expectations that society anticipates all women will follow, and thus react to aversely, should they fail to fit this construct.    
The thing about this feminist glossary, is that it seems as though there are more and more categories than necessary. The reason for feminism is so that everybody, no matter their gender, or their orientation, is treated fairly and equally. The issue is that there should not be any discrimination on whether people are transgender or cisgender, and that they should be offered equal rights, and not be judged on their preferences. I'm a self-proclaimed feminist, and to me, this glossary seems as though there are many people who are saying that they are feminist, but are excluding groups that they do not think deserves the same rights as them.   For example, it is mentioned that there are a few types of feminism, and different types of feminists. It is true that certain groups of women are less privileged due to their biological sex, or their race, and it is evident that there should be groups that are fighting for their rights. However, for types of feminists, there are two terms that I have not encountered previously, TERF, and SWERF. TERF means feminists that exclude trans-gendered women, while SWERF means feminists that exclude sex workers. With so many new terms, it begs the question if this third wave of feminism is really raising awareness of feminism, or if it is resulting in more exclusion of certain groups.
The idea of a feminist glossary, especially one that is periodically updated, is actually a fairly good one in my opinion. As times and perceptions change, language has to change along with them as words take on different connotations or fall out of use. However, formally including a word in some sort of glossary also gives the word power because of the perceived authority that comes with it (much like putting a word in a dictionary), which can lead to widespread use of terms. For example, a term I have an issue with is "feminazi", because it equates someone who may be (overly) passionate about gender equality with Nazis. The very idea should be ridiculous - equality versus genocide? Yet, it's become a term that has seen a fair amount of use. Of course, while some political correctness is needed so that marginalised groups can be protected, policing speech is also a dicey business because protecting free speech should be a priority. Unfortunately, there is no easy solution.
The ever-growing feminist glossary has made discourse more convenient as this current wave of (intersectional) feminism is beginning to touch on many more topics other than just women, though admittedly all the terms may prove overwhelming to some. In fact, many have expressed annoyance for the apparent need to label everything with its own unique term, likening this glossary to "Social Justice Warrior" (SJW) speak. An example would be the word "cisgender". While many (read: cis people) have expressed annoyance at having to "label" people who identify with their biological sex and view it with a negative connotation, I personally think it is important that we make a distinction between the gender alignments, especially the most privileged out of the bunch, ie cis people. Gender non-conforming people cannot simply refer to cis people as "normal", that leaves the implication that any non-cis person is... not normal. Other examples of ridicule that the feminist glossary faces include "trigger" and "trigger warning", which have been ridiculed and used by critics of the glossary to described people who they perceive to be overreacting (for example, "triggered SJWs whining about sexism haHAA"). Of course, this glossary will continue to have its fair share of lovers and haters, but essentially I believe this glossary signifies a step in the right direction, as it shows we are becoming more open and critical about all the deeply rooted issues in our human society—be it sex, race or gender—instead of simply sweeping everything under the rug.

black male sexuality and popular culture


Tuesday, Mar 20, 2018 - 01:37:41 pm

and here is another one for us to discuss…

Categories: food for thought

white supremacists and asian penis


Tuesday, Mar 20, 2018 - 01:26:09 pm

so, what do you think about this?

Categories: food for thought
I think this article is very interesting as it shifts the focus away from why we talk about asian or black dicks, to why we should talk about white dicks. The former topics have been discussed through and through, majority of the comments coming from white people. The author provided her own theorisations of why they seem to be so "obsessed" with the comparison -  referencing to a historical racism backdrop between the white and blacks, and between the whites and asians. Racism thus, is seen to be the spark to all the prejudice against people of colour, in an attempt for the whites to protect their own pride and a defence mechanism to threats from these prejudiced groups. By threats, I am referring to the ideas and fears they have that their women would be snatched away from people of colour, which also threatens their masculinity and pride - which is very closely linked to their package size. Hence their defence mechanism is to boast about their own package sizes in the light of putting down the other types of dicks out there.
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While reading this post, I realised just how prevalent it is for society to use not just the white male penis, but 'white standards', as THE baseline and standard of comparison. In the article, the Black penis, or the Asian penis, compared to the White penis, just isn't ideal. It is interesting to observe is that regardless of the actual size of the other penises, being either too big, or too small, is perceived and constructed as negative and has a derogatory connotation attached to it. If it it’s Black, it’s too big- too scary, what a horror!  If it’s Asian, it’s too small- too inadequate, where’s the pleasure? Basically, the idea being propagated is that if it isn’t White, it isn’t right.

I think that this idea doesn’t just exists solely in the sexual domain, with respect to how the White penis and therefore their sexual prowess is the benchmark for the rest of society and the world. White supremacy also extends to other aspects and domains of our world and this shapes the way we form our own understanding of power in society. For example, I realise through reading this post, that I myself have this construct of the White, westernized society as the ideal, and dominant culture over the rest. I have to admit that subconsciously I do subscribe to the ideology that Whites do have power and this command to set the standards that most of the world seems to follow and accept. Just look at the film industry and even that of music and fashion. This discrimination towards penises of other colour is only one, although a prominent manifestation of the white supremacy that exists in our world today.

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This article just proves the obsession with penises specifically the size of penises and how it matters. It matters because the size of penises determines the pleasure women will get. The white supremacists are positioning themselves in terms of the dick size with theirs being the benchmark for the right size. Not too big and not too small. According to the article, they would press on saying that science has proven that the size of penises is associated to the different races, that is Blacks having a big penis and Asian has a small penis. However, does race really has something to do with the size of penises? Well, in my opinion, it is not the race but the status of the race that has got something to do with the stereotyping of penises size. It is known that there is a long history of racism towards the Blacks and the immigration of Asian. Hence, this might have threatened some and causes the stereotype of penises sizes in relation to race to arise. Even if it is true, it is not the size but the emotion and the technique involve during the sexual act itself that actually determine the pleasure women will get. Therefore, the discrimination towards these group of people perpetuate stereotypes of penises sizes.

I think this article drives the point on white supremacy attitudes; their big egos and feeling superior to people of other races. I could be wrong here but as I read the article, I had the impression that the White guys who commented on the author's partner were insecure and felt threatened, as they seem to be confused about the fact that she is with an Asian instead of a White man. Because "oh no, why settle for that when I can provide better", right? Hence, the need to perpetuate the idea of big and small penises to prove theirs are the best fit - since they "sneer, with an undeserved look of smug satisfaction". Some sort of validation that they are better and superior to any race out there, in the case of this article, Asians and Blacks. (But, really, why does it matter to them? She's the one in the relationship with the Asian guy, let her worry about his penis size if she wants to. Hakuna your tatas, dudes. Yes, she did choose the Asian.)
This article shows how men like to reduce each other to just their penises, as though that appendage is the only thing that defines a person. It is interesting to see how men are commonly reduced to their penises when they are being discussed with other men. It is as though men are hyper-focusing on the penis, and there is nothing else that defines men. It also seems as though this is especially prevalent in white culture, where the white man needs to feel superior to the other races. It is as though they realise that there are so many situations that the other races are better than them in, and they need to find something that is not necessarily true to feel better about themselves. However, bigger doesn't always mean better. The black man is fetishized for their penis, and when they are not 'performing' as expected, they are seen as less of a man that is representative of their race. The white man perpetuates this belief, that all black men are supposed to have big penises, to establish how the white penis is the only 'normal' penis, and that the Asian man have penises that are not as good as a 'normal' penis as they have smaller penises.
The connection between heterosexuality and penis size is made apparent in this article, where having a penis of inadequate size would reduce one's perceived masculinity and ability to fulfil the stereotypical role of a man in Western society (to protect and to provide and procreate). Somewhat ironically, this is sort of a "all roads lead to heterosexuality" type of situation, where being concerned about another man's junk indexes one's heterosexuality. Another racist sentiment from this article is that the white man is somehow more civilised than the black man, whose supposedly larger penis draws comparisons to animals. While the white penis is supposedly the heterosexual ideal, somehow the black penis has crossed that threshold and become too much for fragile white women to handle. In this case, I would say white mens' opinions on black penis would be more about power than indexing heterosexuality. However, the two are inextricably tied together.
This article demonstrates clearly how white supremacy stems from, ironically, an inferiority complex. White men try to discourage white women from dating asian men as their dicks are not as large—a sign that these white men are not able to wrap their heads (no pun intended) around the fact that a woman would pick an Asian over the superior white man. Furthermore, the asian man has been illustrated in white propaganda to be an ugly being who rapes white women, who are rightfully the "property" of white men. Penis size is very commonly referenced in sexual talk, as if the size of one's dick is the ultimate factor that proves a man's worth and whether he is desirable/fuckable, while other factors such as personality do not matter. I would liken the white man's tactics of framing himself as the ideal "size" to the Goldilocks narrative: the asian man is "too small" to satisfy Janet, the black man "too large" for poor fragile Karen, while the white penis is just right. While penis size is also very much referenced in other communities such as among gay or bi people, the size factor is especially common in heterosexual discourse to reinforce not just gender and sexual roles, but also white dominance.

Bisexuality and transphobia

Kai Wen

Monday, Mar 05, 2018 - 12:55:08 am

According to the Oxford online dictionary, a bisexual person is someone who is ‘sexually attracted not exclusively to people of one particular gender; attracted to both men and women.’ At first glance, this definition seems to have cissexist and transphobic connotations. However, it goes without saying that discrepancies can exist between language in theory and language in practice.

This article Read more →

Categories: i will survive

Androgynous Culture in Japan


Sunday, Mar 04, 2018 - 11:59:05 pm

As the title explains, the source article and this commentary of said article is about the relatively recent rise of “androgynous fashion” in Japan. It is also deemed as a “genderless” fashion style since “androgynous fashion” cannot be immediately associated with any one gender (in the binary system), unlike the internalised stereotype we are brought up with Read more →

Categories: i will survive

LGBT Representation in Media


Sunday, Mar 04, 2018 - 11:47:45 pm

In a report published by GLAAD last year, out of the 895 series regular characters expected to appear on broadcast scripted primetime programming in the coming year, 43 (4.8%) were identified as gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, and queer. In comparison to all the reports that they have published, this percentage is the highest of LGBTQ series regulars that they Read more →

Categories: i will survive
The coverage of homosexuality has truly undergone vast changes in media representations and OITNB is one of the key representations of LGBT, especially in recent times. But it is also interesting to note how being a non-hetero in OITNB is associated with jail and entrapment. Like, Piper was with Alex, however, she turned 'straight' as she 'matured' and proceeded on with life. But reverted (?) back to being homo when she rekindled with her old flame when placed in what one may describe as hard times. So we wonder if it could it be in her or is it just the situation that she is in that caused her change (or would I rather say- a realization). Nevertheless, I agree, sexuality is indeed a fluid matter.

When 'No' is Not Enough

Ming En

Sunday, Mar 04, 2018 - 11:21:28 pm

#MeToo is a movement aimed at demonstrating and protesting against the prevalence of sexual assault and harassment, particularly at the workplace. It arose soon after the Harvey Weinstein scandal in October 2017, and quickly gained traction throughout the internet. While the #MeToo movement has drawn a great amount of supporters, it has drawn its fair share of detractors Read more →

Categories: i will survive
Hey! I really agree with what you said about the misogynistic stereotypes and how this misogynistic viewpoint has allowed victim-shaming and a simple refusal to have such a double bind. I think this situation does not just happen within male-female sexual advances, but this act of men as chasers and women as the prey is also happening within same-sex sexual advances. In particular, male-male sexual advances, where the more feminine (less masculine) male is subjected to the same sexual advances by a more masculine male. How to reject sexual advances will always be a conundrum because when discourses and non-verbal cues do not work, what else will?

P p p poker face, p p p poker face


Sunday, Mar 04, 2018 - 10:44:50 pm

Lady Gaga is well known for her unusual and provocative work as well as outrageous and absurd outfits. In addition to that, Lady Gaga is also widely known and considered as a gay icon by the LGBT committee. Lady Gaga has never been afraid to let the world know about her sexuality and the fact that she was bisexual. But Read more →

Categories: i will survive

I feel that society tends to overgeneralize non-heterosexuals; sometimes undermining the variation across individuals in the LGBTQ community (as if they are all uniform) – labels such as LGBTQ, bisexual etc thus shine light on these alternative orientations. I agree with how society is being increasingly aware and accepting of a non-heterosexual identity due to their acquaintance and friendships with these individuals, or in response to public figures ‘coming out of the closet’. But I feel a large part is also attributed to media – be it through the medium of songs, television series or movies. The Western culture also glamorizes homosexuality and alternative orientations; cultural associations are transferred together with various forms of media, influencing people from other parts of the world. Sometimes, it also seems as if tolerance of non-heterosexual identities behaved as an indicator of how developed a population is; on the assumption that society should be open-minded and liberal. I feel that the portrayal of homosexuality (and alternative identities) in media would be an interesting topic of research due to its dynamic nature.

When she tells you "I'm not feeling it"

Veena Ang

Sunday, Mar 04, 2018 - 10:04:10 pm

The topic of consent and when “no means no” has been an ongoing issue since the beginning of humanity and it seems to have grown awry especially in today’s society where false accusations and most people cannot come to a consensus on the definition of consent.

The article “When she tells you I’m just not feeling it” by Chase Amante, owner Read more →

Categories: i will survive

'Masculinity Isn't Toxic; Masculinity is Marvellous'

Sho Khamsani

Sunday, Mar 04, 2018 - 09:52:07 pm

A quick viewing of this short clip may get resounding agreement that: i) third-wave feminism is all about demolishing patriarchy and ii) its ironic end-product of metaphorical in utero destruction of femininity. Also, it is easy to agree with her that masculinity at its core is not toxic and worth celebrating. However, this statement dismisses the existence Read more →

Categories: i will survive
I watched the video, and within the first 10 seconds I cringed. In fact, the whole video was painful to watch. I feel as though women who say that feminism is dead/unnecessary (*cough* Xiaxue's video on feminism *cough*) have 1) a very misguided view on what feminism actually is &/or 2) an incredibly sheltered and privileged life. It's easy to have a misguided view on what feminism is because the loudest voices tend to be the most extreme or ridiculous ones. Not everyone who claims to be a feminist aligns themselves with what feminism actually stands for (e.g. TERFs). Also, I wish all these women who proudly proclaim that feminism is unnecessary could look at the millions of women who are paid less than their male counterparts simple because of their anatomical sex, victim-blamed after a sexual assault, victims of senseless violence (why are trans women murdered just for being trans?)  or are struggling because multiple axes of their identity subject them to discrimination. I really don't think anyone can say that "feminism is unnecessary" in the face of all of that.

A certain 'quality'...


Sunday, Mar 04, 2018 - 09:16:40 pm

F.R.I.E.N.D.S, dare I say, has to be the best sitcom ever to be made. Although F.R.I.E.N.D.S began its broadcast well before some of us millennials were born, it has still managed to capture our hearts and cracked us up. The characters are on a comedic and romantic journey through their life issues such as their career and personal lives. The Read more →

Categories: i will survive

Is It Okay to Hit on Me?


Sunday, Mar 04, 2018 - 08:35:33 pm

With a simple but controversial question, Dr Lindsey Doe (clinical sexologist and host of sex education Youtube channel Sexplanations) touches on the need for sex-positive environments, sexual harassment, acceptable expressions of desire, and the hypersexualization of women on the Internet. She addresses the issue with incredible nuance, highlighting context and intent as two determiners of when a romantic Read more →

Categories: i will survive

What's the point in saying no?


Sunday, Mar 04, 2018 - 08:16:36 pm

“You may not be physically stronger, but you can show strength with your words.”

In the article written by Nicole Kelner, she talked about her rape experience and the importance of saying no. We have learnt in class the importance of consensual sex and the discursive construction of consent. We learnt that in opposite-sex assaults, in particular male-on-female Read more →

Categories: i will survive
Tags: consent
Hey Tania! I'm glad I stopped to read your post. It's disgusting how saying 'no' is never enough and the fact that to stop a person from raping you actually have to verbally remind him that he is trying to rape you. This is sick and I agree with you that if 'no' does not work, then what should we say to stop rape from happening. I find your research on the female-on-female rape cases very surprising. I would have thought females would be more honest with each other and protect one another. From that, I think it is no longer just an issue of gender when it comes to the sexual predator and their refusal to acknowledge rejection. Makes me think about what it takes to be safe in our own environment these days.