Recent Posts

What is Bromance?

Joel Low

Tuesday, Feb 06, 2018 - 01:18:59 pm

A bromance is a close, platonic relationship shared intimately by two men (or in this case, bros). Many times, this feeling of affection and emotional connection stems from sharing commonly “masculine” domains like sports, games or girls. A bromance is largely underpinned by a universally acknowledged but unspoken “bro code”. However, the “bro code” is commonly extended and can be Read more →

Categories: 1st post
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#nohomo : what is bromance?

Tan Jun Yi

Monday, Feb 05, 2018 - 06:22:37 am

Got money out the ass, no homo but I’m rich.

Without a doubt, the phrase “no homo” has made its way into mainstream culture, even as the Guardian explores how acknowledging one’s love for a bro is an act of courage and vulnerability, just like the act of coming out.

As men become more comfortable with expressing themselves to other Read more →

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What is bromance?

sakthi

Monday, Feb 05, 2018 - 06:21:40 am

Bromance is a very close relationship between men who consider themselves ‘brothers’.

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bromance: a guide to homosocial relationships for the insecure

Sho Khamsani

Monday, Feb 05, 2018 - 06:20:29 am

“bromance, really?”

we seem to have a compulsion and obsession about organising and categorising everything; applying standards and distinguishing markers about almost anything and everything.

bromance is essentially a close-knit, markedly more emotional connection shared between (usually) two males (WORK IN PROGRESS)

Categories: 1st post
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your body. your life. your choices.

Azida Mohamed

Monday, Feb 05, 2018 - 06:17:00 am

“If you haven’t, you’re a prude. If you have, you’re a slut. It’s a trap.”

The Breakfast Club came out in 1985 and surprise, what Allison Reynolds said then is still alive and well 30 years later.

Slut-shaming or prude-shaming is both a phenomenon that polices how women choose or don’t choose, to express themselves sexually. And they are both problematic as Read more →

Categories: i will survive
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In my opinion, I could not agree more about how unfair it is that there are different terms or labels only on women based on their sexual activities. There is also a label on women if they dislike doing anything sexual which in this case is ‘prude’. Whether they have sex with many people or not, they still bear the consequences of having derogatory labelled on them. Again, here, it shows that people are treating sex as not only a form of behaviour but also treating it as a guide to define someone’s identity. In the society viewpoint, there is no in between. A girl would either be a slut or prude. Meanwhile, there are not even single derogatory labels on men who love to sleep around and what more disliking doing anything sexual. In fact, for men, the more people they have sex with, the more powerful or dominant they are. Hence, this may the reason why they do not have derogatory labels based on their sexual activities. Nonetheless, it is still a form of discrimination towards women by labelling them derogatorily based on their sexual preference and activities.  
Society, as we know it today, relies on these traits and labels to navigate and define people and their personalities and behaviours, which is, in my opinion, a sad reality. I wholeheartedly agree that it is a trap, to define your sexual tendencies because the world's going to have an opinion of you, no matter what. So, just don't. Perhaps, as a woman, if we stop putting so much importance on these labels, it would no longer hold such influence or power over us as well.
I agree with you that it is very unfair that women get BOTH slut-shamed and prude-shamed, while men get away with having sex with many people. However so, I feel that it is also true that men are also pressured into having to have sex with many people. Prudent men are viewed even more negatively than prudent women - while women who have never had sex can still be viewed as pure, men who have never had sex are viewed as 'losers'. So while I agree that there is discrimination against women due to slut-shaming, there is also a more extreme discrimination towards virgin men than virgin women.

that's patriarchy: how female sexual liberation led to male sexual entitlement

ivan

Monday, Feb 05, 2018 - 03:52:26 am

‘As soon as older feminists had won sexual liberation, patriarchy reframed it as sexual availability for men.’ Here, the author discusses how ‘intergenerational battles over feminism come down to the meaning of consent.’

Categories: food for thought
the struggle of female sexuality :-(

the female price of male pleasure

ivan

Monday, Feb 05, 2018 - 03:42:39 am

In her discussion of male pleasure and female pain, Lili Loofbourow puts forward a compelling argument that ‘[w]omen are enculturated to be uncomfortable most of the time. And to ignore their discomfort.’ Any thoughts on this?

Categories: food for thought
yes
Wooooooooooooooord.
this is a mood but i wish it wasn't
not true
I think it's true to a certain extent that sex is heavily focused on male pleasure
No just means no and there shouldn't be a need for an explanation.
I agree
No is no.
I think that this does not only applies to women. Both males and females would probably experience some sort of discomfort when doing sex, not only physical pain but perhaps the intense moment of staring into each other? Sex should be a good session for both parties in order for both to feel satisfied eventually. Hence, if either party experiences unbearable discomfort, he or she should voice out.
any form of discomfort whether for the female and male should be a sign itself to say no or find some means to compromise (sorta). while women have to learn to voice out their discomfort, men should understand that no means no.
I think women should not have to endure the pain since sex should be consensual and for pleasure. So if it hurts, she should voice out her pain. Also, if he or she says no, it's definitely a no.
Let us not even talk about what each gender has 'rights to' and what another has to 'accept'. Intercourse is a mutual thing thus both involved has equal rights and needs to satisfy. Any other things apart from a definite yes is a possible no. If not, that will only mean its no longer sex...

what's wrong with labels?

ivan

Monday, Feb 05, 2018 - 02:16:36 am

In class, we talked about the proliferation of labels used to describe (and perhaps even fix) different ‘sexual identities’, and how these have been useful in mobilizing members of the so-called ‘sexual minorities’ to fight the stigma and claim their rights. These labels, however, have shown to be controversial, and they have been the topic Read more →

Categories: food for thought
interesting read (:
Reminds me how I would like to define who I am, myself
Labels can act as a positive movement but can also be detrimental to the group that is being labelled, depending on how the label is being used.
Labels are wrong as some groups remain invisible to development because they are not considered to be 'high priority' in terms of funding. For example, lesbians are excluded from certain HIV interventions, funding and research as they are not the high group in contracting HIV.
The labelling of the minority groups is a very sensitive issue, and also one that is difficult to deal with. While the minority groups themselves don't like people outside their group to call them by those labels, they themselves are allowed to use it within the group. However, this leads to segregation of the community, and the fact that there is even a need to label these minority groups further separates the community as well.
A lot wrong with labels!
Labels shouldn't be forced upon individuals.
Although there is a gap in funding for several groups of people for important things like HIV interventions, I feel that it is inevitable. Political motivations mean that funding will always be targeted at the largest groups where help can reach the most. However, I feel that more should be done to bridge this gap.
Labels can be both beneficial and at the same time, bad for individuals.

on sexual metaphors

ivan

Monday, Feb 05, 2018 - 01:56:23 am

Sex is often taboo, and it is not uncommon that we talk about it using metaphors. Here’s a text about the ‘baseball model’ of sex and sexuality which is prevalent in American society. The article provides a critical take on the baseball sexual metaphor and contrasts it with a hypothetical ‘pizza metaphor’. Any thoughts Read more →

Categories: food for thought
The pizza metaphor is more inclusive then the baseball metaphor.
I learnt about the baseball metaphors from American TV shows.
test comment
Interesting to see how metaphors that we take for granted and accept can strengthen the entrenchment of certain values
Perhaps, we can consider "dabao" as one example of a local sex metaphor used to describe a situation where (usually) a man successfully brings home a woman (usually from a night out/ the club). The expression originally contains this meaning. Comparatively, it is of course is a narrow use and it being standalone as compared to the baseball/pizza metaphor. This is quite suggestive  that sex being a taboo subject here in Singapore.
The baseball metaphor focuses on how one team has to guard against the other; this portrays sex to be restricted within boundaries (limiting to only heterosexuals, and women to "guard their base" against men). We still hear this being used today (in terms of how far the relationship has progressed) but I believe, not as widely spread as in the American culture.
Sexual metaphors have arguably tinted the way our society perceives and talks about sex today. The widespread nature of the baseball metaphor arguably entails that the entrenched sexism is constantly reinforced. Therefore, despite how idealistic the pizza metaphor is, the cultural norms and values now portrayed in the baseball metaphor are too deeply rooted to be swept away by a mere change of discourse used to approach sex.
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I actually never realised that the baseball metaphor was something more complicated than it seemed. I first heard of bases while reading Western books and watching films where teenage boys talked about “reaching 3rd base” and to me, it just seemed like another level of sexual contact or intimacy that one should reach with their partner. However, after reading this article, what struck me most about this whole baseball metaphor was the idea that there was a winning side and losing side- the losing side being the women?? The conquering, the achieving of another base, another ‘score’ seems to objectify women as merely a game. It doesn’t construct sexual intercourse as a consensual milestone, equally significant to both parties in the relationship, but rather just a means of securing a social status or dominance about one’s masculinity and capability. So yes, women end up being on the losing side because perhaps her value ends up being cheapened in this competition to get to the top the fastest. However, this metaphor isn’t something I commonly hear in our local context. Perhaps this is because baseball isn’t a game we resonate with. That being said, I do believe that this whole idea of achieving the bases does exist in Singapore, but perhaps is conveyed through other slang. One such term that could be similar to this is the need to “up your game”, meaning that one needs to improve themselves, do better and get better at achieving more points in whatever aspect it may be in.