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Art History: Introduction + Paragraphs draft


Saturday, Mar 12, 2016 - 12:30:31 am

@ bella's

What is Chinese landscape painting? Compare Guo Xi’s Early Spring to a bird and flower painting by Emperor Hui-tsung.


Chinese Landscape paintings are paintings of nature. They often illustrate mountains, trees, clouds, birds, flowers and water and painted with expressive calligraphic brushworks in monochrome.[1] The first traces of the Landscape in art could be found in tomb art, secular Read more →

Categories: Journal
Excellent introduction! Perhaps it could have a few more footnotes and it could be longer. What if you introduce both painters in the introduction? Good claim, but weak verbs. Where is the plan for the rest of the paper? Nice paragraph with a point! We need more footnotes for the parakeet painting. I look forward to reading the whole paper next weekend!

Introductory Paragraph- Chinese Tomb Art

Fernandez Leong

Saturday, Mar 12, 2016 - 12:20:12 am

@ fleong005

There has been a change in my thesis statement but I think I’ll put down the paragraph first and see if it’s easy to pick out.


The Ancient China concept of death indicated that the body had two spiritual elements, the hun spirit representing the expressive soul headed for paradise and the po spirit that remained after death[1]. To Read more →

Categories: Journal
Very nice introduction! Break up sentence 3. It is a run on sentence. Full stop needed after "tombs." Your thesis sounds fascinating. But, you need to introduce your two objects first before the thesis. Why not describe the various ranks first and then zero in on your two objects? But, I am struggling to understand what exactly you mean. So, you are saying that although they are different (due to facial characteristics), they are the same? In other words, they aren't different because they are different individuals but the are differentiated because of their ranks needed to be shown? What is the plan for the paper? Also, it would be good to include the chapter by Lothar Ledderose on the tomb warriors.
Hi Sujatha, Thank you for the comment! Noted on the third sentence and phrasing of thesis. I will have to work on it again. About the plan, I would find it more comfortable emailing you about the rephrased thesis should be together in the email. Regarding the chapter by Lothar Ledderose, would you happen to be referring to the piece "A Magic Army for the Emperor"? Thank you again for the feedback.
Dear Fern, Have you emailed me your new thesis and plan? Yes, I am referring to the Magical Army chapter in Ten Thousand Things. Looking forward to reading your work, Sujatha

Introduction for Essay


Saturday, Mar 12, 2016 - 12:18:20 am

@ 風鳴る翼

Q1: What is Chinese Tomb art? Compare 2 bronzes from the Shang dynasty or compare 2 terracotta figures from the Qin dynasty.

Thesis statement:

Qin Shi Huang’s strict rule did not degrade the quality and variety of the figures produced, instead kept the quality and variety consistent even with mass production.

Having an afterlife is one important belief throughout the ancient Chinese history. Read more →

Categories: Journal
Gek, this is a good start. But, we need to do some editing. First of all what are yellow springs? Is it a belief that existed in the Shang dynasty? Do we need the sentence about Fu Hao's tomb? Your current thesis statement is too broad. Your thesis statement needs to be in the form of a comparison. It has to address both similarities and differences. What is the plan for the paper?

Histories of Art II: Week 8 Introduction and Paragraph

Alfred Yeo

Saturday, Mar 12, 2016 - 12:10:22 am

@ alfredoodles

What is Chinese tomb art? Compare two terracotta figures from the Qin dynasty.

Chinese tomb art was started with the belief of an after life and that early rulers has to be provided even after they pass, similarly like an extension of their worldly life. The most prominent example of this was set in the Qin dynasty which was reigned by Read more →

Categories: Journal
The introduction looks good, but it is a bit rushed. What if you give us a few examples of the variety of tomb art before you zero in on the tomb warriors? I am worried about your claim... You would have to have seen all 7000 warriors to make this claim--that all the seated arches are wearing protective gear while the standing ones aren't. Where is the plan for the paper? "The material of each terracotta figure were made differently to represent and accentuate their different roles as Emperor Qin’s warriors." Good topic sentences. But a bit confusing. All of them are made from clay. So, do you mean the material of their warrior garments? Good paragraphs. Perhaps you can say early on in your intro that there are multiple reasons why they look real. You can quote a few people. Then, say that in this essay you are focusing only on two or three points.

Art Hist Proposal Part II - Introduction


Friday, Mar 11, 2016 - 10:30:11 pm

@ Darrenjh

What is Chinese Buddhism? Compare two sculptures and address the question of change in art and religion when Buddhism arrives in China. The images need to be from lecture or from the Asian Civilizations Museum.

Thesis: The proliferation of Buddhist art was largely brought about by extensive foreign trade. This ultimately, culminated ornate and ostentatious sculptures and art forms.



During the Tang Read more →

Categories: Journal
The current thesis statement is too broad. It is also a fact. No can argue against you. So, create a thesis that addresses both similarities and differences. This is after all a comparison paper. Nice point about land and sea routes. So, let's say Silk Roads (make it plural). You introduction is very general. It needs to introduce your two objects (please see the sample). You also need to have a plan for the rest of the paper in your introduction.

RESEARCH PAPER: Introduction

Feliciana Natali

Friday, Mar 11, 2016 - 08:12:17 pm

@ Feligood

Question 1

Ancient China’s history is often related to what we call Chinese tomb art : things which are buried together with the deceased[1]. Ancient Chinese buried those grave goods in the form of ritual vessels, statues, precious stones and sometimes weapons because they believed tombs were the bridge between the livings’ world and the dead’s, hence the livings Read more →

Categories: Journal
This is a good intro Feli! Do you need that first footnote? It has nothing to do with ancient China. Footnote 3 needs to be a shortened citation. Bower, From Court to Caravan, 22-23. The same goes for footnote 6. So, which ones is your thesis statement? "To a certain extent, the existence of bronze tomb art render eliteness." "However, they are merely products of Shang’s bronze industry, and not a fine art, because regardless of era, geography, and ownership, the bronzes share very similar shape and style." Try to create a thesis that addresses both similarities and differences. Where is your plan for the paper? You need a sentence that screams out "this is the plan for my paper!"
Okay! I will take down the first footnote then. The thesis is the second one, about bronzes being the products of an industry rather than a form of fine art. This thesis will use the similarities and differences between 2 fangding from two different tombs, different times of the Shang era, and different social status owners (an unknown man and lady Hao). I think I should make the sentence about this thesis clearer in the introduction. And yes I will prove my thesis by having two body paragraphs about shape comparison and style comparison. May I also put extra contextual analysis (a short third body paragraph) to make my thesis clearer? It would be about where the fangdings were from, and why such a 'seemingly royal' ritual vessel is found in a non-royal tomb?

Art History Essay: Introduction

Chio Jo Inng

Friday, Mar 11, 2016 - 06:36:18 pm

@ J O

Link to my proposal here.

Buddhism originally originated in India and spread to China as early as the second century B.C during the Han Dynasty, where Confucianism and Taoism beliefs were already a well-established school of thought for the citizens. Going against the already their values of relating oneself to family and the community, Buddhism instead focused on creating awareness Read more →

Categories: Journal
Good start Jo! But we need some footnotes and some editing. *We all know that Buddhism began in India, but it is not general knowledge that Buddhism reached China in the 2nd century BCE. So, the first sentence needs a footnote. *Do we also need all this information? (2nd and 3rd sentence). Look at the textbook written by Richard Vinograd and Robert L. Thorpe in the ADM library for some great information about early Buddhism in China. *Who are these non-Han Chinese? Make your story more concrete. We also need dates. *So, are you going that the Longmont sculptures show Taoist and Confucian influences? *What is your plan for this paper?

Edited Proposal

Iskandar Ruhaizat

Friday, Mar 11, 2016 - 04:00:18 pm

@ Sang Musang

What is Chinese Buddhist art? Compare two sculptures and address the question of change in art and religion when Buddhism arrives in China. The images need to be from lecture or from the Asian Civilizations Museum.


Define Chinese Buddhist art

Claim: Chinese Buddhist art flourished mainly due to the royal patronage of Buddhism.

Chinese Buddhist art is a complex collection of “images of Read more →

Categories: Journal
Current claim is too broad. It is also a fact. No one can disagree with you. So, compare the two objects first (similarities and differences). Then, come up with a claim. There seem to be three paper topics in this edited proposal! You can write one on royal patronage. Another on trade. And a third on contact with other religions in China. Which one do you want to do?

Essay Proposal

Chio Jo Inng

Thursday, Mar 10, 2016 - 11:21:26 pm

@ J O

Chosen Question:

What is Chinese Buddhist art? Compare two sculptures and address the question of change in art and religion when Buddhism arrives in China. The images need to be from lecture or from the Asian Civilizations Museum.

Introduction Paragraph:

Buddhism originated in India Spread to China around the 1st/2nd century Gained traction during the late Han Dynasty, and experienced new heights of popularity in Read more →
Categories: Journal
Your current thesis statement is too broad. It is also a fact. In other words, no one can disagree with you. Make a thesis statement that addresses both similarities and differences. Where is your plan for the paper? Your first and second paragraph would be stronger if they were about the comparison. So, weave in the contextual analysis into all paragraphs. Don't make it a separate paragraph, unless you have to.

Revised Proposal


Thursday, Mar 10, 2016 - 05:52:07 pm

@ 風鳴る翼


-What is chinese tomb art.

-about Qin dynasty (when Qin shi huang got his throne)

-short intro about Qin Shi Huang

– why did he plan to build this tomb

-the reason behind him about his placement of the tomb.

-The terracotta warriors pits are purposely placed facing the east, guarding the emperor against his possible “enemies”

overall introduction about this tomb. (56sq km etc)

Compare between Read more →

Categories: Journal