in My Work, Research

Impossibilities of Being


Have you ever had a heartbreak? How does it feel? Painful? Why is it that when we went through an emotional turmoil, it felt as if we can physically feel the pain coming from the heart.

In A Day After a Heartbreak, I want to convey the idea of despondency. I related the emotion really closely to a hangover. I get hangovers frequently after a night of drinking and the effects are devastating. I woke up feeling absolutely worthless, lethargic and useless. The feeling was intense and uncomfortable. I cannot breathe, I cannot eat. Neither can I drink water. The irony: I will do it all over again the next week. Why are we so attached to something that hurts us? Is it because we value that few hours of pure pleasure more than the immense amount of pain?

I decide to use the song ‘Til’ it Happens to You’ by Lady Gaga because I felt that this song is the most suitable music to accompany the images. I realised that sometimes it very hard to sympathise with people when they tell you about their troubles in their relationship. “Just move on.”, “Don’t think so much about it!”, “You’re just overthinking,” I sometimes feel that such words are sweeping remarks. They wouldn’t know the feeling of such pain until it happens to them. Probably then will they know the pain.

What do the images signify?

In the 3 series of transformation, the rose represents love in tangible form. In a relationship, am I consuming love; indulging in the passionate abyss of love or am I being consumed by love itself? It happens in us as well. Being in a poisonous relationship and knowing that your partner will only bring you down yet you still choose to stay. Why?

Moving on, the smoke represents love in intangible form. Smoke hurts and it kills you from within. Slowly. People are aware of its effects yet they still ‘consume’ it. Why? Is the minutes of pleasure and satisfaction enough to compensate for the long term damage? Is it worth it to indulge in spiritual, physically and psychologically satisfaction yet sacrificing the sanctity of the pure human body?

Lastly, love in tangible and intangible. Water is often seen as a cleansing ritual, to rid the body of dirt and impurity. Yet, in the video I explore and put the water in another light. I want to convey the idea that water is instead a burden, a liability. Something that left you in a mess. In the end, the only one who gets hurt is the one who turns on the tap. (Decides to commit to the relationship).

Research Links

I am a big fan of romance and heartbreaks. There are boundless of imagination to exploring the idea of heartbreaks.

These are some of the quotes I personally love because they are full of emotions and deep understandings behind those words.

In the 500 Days of Summer, Summer explained to Tom the reason why she didn’t choose him in the end.


Summer: Well, you know, I guess it’s ’cause I was sitting in a deli and reading Dorian Gray and a guy comes up to me and asks me about it and… now he’s my husband.

Tom: Yeah. And… so?

Summer: So, what if I’d gone to the movies? What if I had gone somewhere else for lunch? What if I’d gotten there 10 minutes later? It was – it was meant to be. And… I just kept thinking… Tom was right.

Tom: No.

Summer: Yeah, I did.


Summer: I did. It just wasn’t me that you were right about.

In American Horror Story: Hotel Episode 3, Elizabeth portrayed by Lady Gaga explained to Donnovan the very thing that made one person is actually heartbreaks.

“You will learn, it isn’t our precious virus that makes you. It isn’t who you kill or who you screw. It’s the heartbreaks. Bigger, the better. I know better than any of us.”

In ‘Love & Other Adventures’ by Lang Leav, I was particularly intrigued by this poem titled ‘The Keeper’.quote-5

You were like a dream, I wish I hadn’t slept through

Within it I fell deeper, than your heart would care to let you

I thought you were a keeper, I wish I could have kept you

In the poisonous rose that appeared in the first part of the video, it was inspired by the song, “Poison” by Rita Ora specifically the lyrics:

I pick my poison and it’s you

Nothing can kill me like you do

You’re going straight to my head

And I’m heading straight for the edge

When it comes to love, there is no common sense. We choose to embrace it even if we know it’s detrimental to our health. I guess this is addiction. The addiction to love. The addiction to pain.


This project is rather personal and intimate for me because I did this project alone to form the idea of love and heartbreaks from my own perspective. I like the idea of using symbolism to express my emotions and feelings. I enjoy using various objects to convey my idea. Furthermore, the close-up shots frequent in the video enable me to better understand myself and the project.