My Week With My Phone: Get a Hold of Yourself
You are clearly oblivious to the torment I have been forced to swallow as the appalling week transpired! Have you lost your mind? Or did you just decide to stop thinking with your head and went to make decisions with your schlong instead?
The amount of nudes sent over Snapchat to random girls was beyond absurd. You even had the cheek to contaminate me with revolting snaps of them that you have discreetly screenshotted and carefully saved in my Camera Roll. You are disgusting. If only there was an iOS update that would enable the phone to delete all infelicitous content, those pictures would be long gone by now, buddy.
And what the hell is Tinder? How will swiping leftward countless number of times help you get over her? All it did was eat up my data, leaving you with no gains.
We both know it has been a cruel December for you. And I best be leaving you alone to reflect on your regrettable actions. Perhaps time will heal the open wounds. But I just cannot bear another second to see you this upset. Especially at my expense!
You have built a wall around yourself from the people who are genuinely concerned of your mental and emotional well-being. If only you knew how infuriating it was for me to buzz you every time a notification comes up. Those were all flooded with missed calls, voicemails, and WhatsApp messages sent by your close friends, and yet you chose to ignore them? How rude of you!
Remember last Friday evening, when you flung me across your room the very moment you saw that a guy replied to one of her tweets? That crack on my screen is a friendly reminder to you that I am very much as fragile as you are. Please, suppress your rage the next time you plan to stalk her on social media. She broke your heart, but that does not give you the rights to break me. Get a hold of yourself!
Done by: Amazing Anam