[Project 2: Forrest Gump] Despondency, Eternity, Anxiety, and Cats

While I originally contemplated movies of different genres, I eventually decided on Japanese animated youth drama films just to have some form of unity. All in all, though, my works follow a more chronological sequence, in that I learned various lessons along the way on techniques (mostly by discreetly looking at other poeple’s stuff and Googling “surrealism”), and tried many different things along the way: those which worked reappeared in later pieces, and those which didn’t were eliminated.

 

Summary: A sense of helplessness in not knowing what to do, mixed with hope for the better. Both animals often appear in intertwining pairs, where the downward-swimming fish symbolises the involution of the spirit, the snake, the succumb to venomous depravity. Yet, while the fish dives towards the soiled earth, the clarity of heaven still drips as a form of hope that things can improve.

This was the first one I started on, and probably one of the more experimented-on ones as a result.

ver1.0 was the original, and already had some element of the dichotomy I was trying to present. The earth was much more cluttered, with various things which are common sources of anxiety (e.g. clock=time, heart=relationships). Mathematical statements (all with no solutions) were clipped on to try and further that idea. ver0.9 didn’t have the stroke around the fishes/snakes, but it was added when Joy mentioned that the focus wasn’t clear enough. The common consensus was that too much was happening, and looking at the others during the group consultation also made me realise that I didn’t really consider the borders. Also, a perfunctory look at surrealist artists made me reconsider the usage of a meaningful background with a meaningful foreground, mostly because blue cloudy skies seemed to be quite a common theme to diminish the background and bring out the foreground.

From ver2.0 onwards, the background of human figures (to suggest uncertainty on what to do) was omitted, and I tried to focus on using shapes with clear directional outlines. Little variation happened between ver2.0 and ver2.7 in the general shape of the intertwining fish and snake to suggest a balance between 2 elements. ver2.5 is a sad remnant of when I was attempting to incorporate basic shapes to unify and differentiate my 4 pieces. But I couldn’t make it work, so I gave up (that’s both a Celtic cross and a coda, incidentally). Dhanu suggested to make everything line up though, so I figured might as well! (Also, I half-toned one half to try and contrast more.)

Summary: Even if our bodies decay, our existence is connected to the world for all time and space simply because we once were. The worm destroys and remakes our bodies to rejuvenate the earth, rising over the time and space of different parts of the world in different eras. Butterflies come from the worm, representing the choices one makes in his life through the idea of the butterfly effect.

This was the second I worked on, and was also vaguely annoying (but not as much because I hadn’t put the same amount of intricacy as for the first).

ver1.0 was also a remnant of my attempt to use basic shapes. I wanted that posture more than any possible meaning associated with the statue, but I eventually figured there was really little purpose in putting a human figure and it wasn’t subtle enough. Also, Joy mentioned that half-toning distorted the background and made it difficult to make out details, which I later tried to resolve by using different half-tone settings and taking at least one building out in its full glory. (There’s also the stroke, which was again an attempt to draw focus. I later learn that this is not a great way of defining focus, but that’ll be for later.)

ver2.0 onwards is all very similar, but with the figure swapped for the worm. This is also due to the earlier realisation that using the shape of the object to provide definition was good. The worm was originally cracked to suggest the breaking of the body, but Joy mentioned that it made the worm very unwormlike, and thus I toned it down (to the point of omission). I also just scaled down the buildings and darkened the butterflies with Threshold to try and define the focus more, although the eventual result still wasn’t sufficient, it seems. (I DID learn that Threshold was very useful for creating focus, though, which I applied in small amounts.)

Summary: If your cat is missing, it could just be that it’s among the stars.

This was really the easiest of them all, somehow. I think it was the simplicity of the narrative, added with the fact that I don’t really have any particular emotion towards the quote that made me particularly want to show anything.

Halfway through making this, it was gently rejected, but I just wanted to finish it anyway because it was cute. This was also my first attempt at intentional and overdone implied lines, and absolute use of half-tones to slightly blur everything that isn’t the focus (and binary colour for the focus). The final comment was that the star on the side looked uncomfortably cut off. It was supposed to be slightly out of the frame, but perhaps I should have moved it in a little more to make it look more intentional.

Summary: To be stripped of your voice is like becoming absent, and for everyone to be happy means that everyone despises you and wishes you don’t exist. The body is fading away, the skeletal spine suggesting decay while the head, the location of your mouth, is replaced by the ink splattered paper. That the paper is shredded and blotched indicates that your words can’t reach anyone, while the scissors represent people who all despise you, their blades pointed at you. Also, there are various scissors to suggest all kinds of people.

This was a headache in that it was the quote I resonated the most with, and thus the quote I was most trapped by, because there was a feeling I really wanted to bring across, but I didn’t want work to be defined by my personal feelings because that always makes it hard on everyone. In the end, I couldn’t make anything satisfactory, so I gave up and went with my feelings.

ver0.2 and ver0.4 don’t even get to 1.0 simply because it wasn’t much of a composition as opposed to a cluster of ideas. Again, the triangle was an attempt at basic shapes, with the ink splatters meant to suggest blood and hurt. The scrabble tiles was a link to the idea of “voice” again, an attempt at breaking the regular rhythm to create focus. The focus would then be letters which form words with multiple meanings/multiple words: in this case, L I V E / E V I L (I couldn’t think of anything better, so I ended up giving up on this one). The pierrot was an attempt to link that to emotion, where the clown lets himself be ridiculed, to the happiness of others (it was an idea from a song). But, again, I generally dislike directly representing human faces in surrealism so I axed it.

ver1.0 was me deciding to go with the ink splatters as the most aesthetically pleasing (and gut feel appealing) to me, and trying to go with the idea of paper as a representation of the voice and feelings. It’s the same as for the final, where wrecked paper = failure to communicate, but now revolving around ideas linked to paper, such as that of stationery (the scissors) to represent “everyone” and the idea of injury infliction (because scissors is sharp. and wins paper). The comment from Joy was that it was too abstract, though, so… Against my better judgment, I linked it back to personal feelings such that it became a human figure. Also, I reduced it to a single paper because many of my previous pieces had problems with “overdoing it”, and I figured 1 paper was enough. Similar to the 3rd piece, I used halftones, and tried to use white to define the focus: consequently, everything else consists of darker shades of grey.

The 4th composition is unusually high res because I edited it in after forgetting to photograph 🙁

What annoyed me most for this project was the number of minor issues I didn’t even think would be issues being issues. A splatter (pastel?) I can’t even recognise appeared on my bag on Sunday night and no amount of detergent nor scrubbing could get it off, I decided to print at home because my 4th composition still needed work even on Friday but my printer evidently cannot print tones of black properly, and printed all my pieces slanted so I had to use the paper cutter to adjust the sides, then the paper cutter kept cutting off little corners/didn’t cut perfectly to the edge. Learning from my previous mistake of being slightly late, I woke up at 4am to prepare everything properly, but it still didn’t work out, miraculously. I’m not sure what to make of this, because it could be me being an utter failure, or just rotten luck.

Something interesting that was mentioned was from Brendan, that there was a lot of animal imagery. I hadn’t even thought about it, and I suppose if I had I would have tried to link the 4th composition too. A human figure may have been good in that humans are considered the only species capable of “thought”, and thus that form of paranoid anxiety, but perhaps something like a fly (I can’t remember the exact one, but there’re quite a few poems about killing flies and the poet’s feelings towards the act) might have been interesting to work with.

Links where I got the images (not all images in the links were used in the final designs)

  • http://www.ba-bamail.com/content.aspx?emailid=22455
  • http://www.thisiscolossal.com/2014/09/siamese-fighting-fish-visarute-angkatavanich/
  • https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Cross
  • https://www.quia.com/jg/2763564list.html
  • http://www.berkshireeagle.com/stories/the-milk-snake-a-case-of-mistaken-identity,510827
  • http://flowerpictures.us/forget_me_not_pictures.html
  • https://www.banggood.com/2-Layers-Embroidery-Lace-Pearl-Beaded-Edge-Bridal-Wedding-Elbow-Veil-With-Comb-p-1018671.html
  • https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Papilio_ulysses
  • https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Viceroy_(butterfly)
  • http://www.pbs.org/newshour/tag/monarch-butterfly/
  • https://www.easyweddings.com.au/articles/butterfly-release/
  • https://aeon.co/videos/sand-can-be-lava-coral-bones-even-excrement-what-s-on-your-favorite-beach
  • https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sand
  • https://www.hammondfarms.com/products/sands-and-gravels/beach-sand/
  • https://www.pexels.com/search/sand/
  • https://www.pexels.com/search/sand/
  • https://therish03.wordpress.com/2013/03/11/looking-at-sand-dunes-sand-sculpture-in-detail-for-reference/
  • https://www.123rf.com/photo_26972498_closeup-of-frosted-glass-texture.html
  • http://www.soultravelmultimedia.com/2013/07/24/glass-tutorials-textures-icons-photoshop-styles-vectors-and-more/
  • https://www.123rf.com/photo_8375877_detailed-texture-of-transparent-broken-glass-with-cracks.html
  • https://www.walldevil.com/broken-glass-texture-wallpaper-811689/
  • https://www.videoblocks.com/video/3d-tech-grid-structure-sv7i4wymliw1dpx0g/
  • https://www.videoblocks.com/video/abstract-3d-tunnel-from-a-grid-loop-bb9f4ef/
  • https://www.dreamstime.com/stock-illustration-grid-vortex-tunnel-black-white-d-image46299026
  • http://www.travelphotoreport.com/2012/01/27/great-wall-china/
  • http://www.easysync.us/china-map-of-great-wall.html
  • https://www.getyourguide.com/great-wall-of-china-l525/
  • http://articles.pk/ancient-architecture.html
  • https://www.citelighter.com/art-architecture/architecture/knowledgecards/architecture-of-ancient-egypt
  • https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Matsumoto_Castle05s5s4592.jpg
  • http://www.daydreaminganddecor.com/image/architectural-styles-in-ancient-india-25/
  • https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Cleve-van_construction-tower-babel.jpg
  • https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Egyptian_pyramids
  • http://kogallery.com/page9/https://alchetron.com/Castle-of-Sand-93237-W
  • http://www.accucutcraft.com/circle-1.html
  • https://www.ethos3.com/2013/09/presentations-and-the-butterfly/
  • https://gallery.yopriceville.com/Free-Clipart-Pictures/Butterflies-PNG/Beautiful_Blue_and_Brown_Butterfly_PNG_Clipart
  • https://www.aliexpress.com/item/Hot-100Pc-Burlywood-Color-Wooden-Alphabet-Scrabble-Tiles-Black-Letters-Numbers-Toys-Crafts-Baby-Kids-Educational/32757918486.html
  • https://www.aliexpress.com/store/product/100Pcs-Set-Educational-Burlywood-Color-Wooden-Alphabet-Scrabble-Tiles-DIY-Black-Letters-Numbers-Crafts-Baby-Kids/1456622_32669731965.html
  • https://scrabble.hasbro.com/en-us/faq
  • http://somethingborrowedhire.com/product/vintage-style-scrabble-tile-wooden-stand/
  • https://www.aliexpress.com/popular/scrabble-tile-craft.html
  • https://www.pond5.com/stock-footage/18738883/ink-splatter.html
  • http://www.thestyleking.com/encre-noir-by-lalique/
  • https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pink_triangle
  • http://www.vectortemplates.com/raster-ink-splats.php
  • https://graphicriver.net/item/25-high-resolution-ink-splatter-brushes/9750895
  • https://loadus.deviantart.com/art/Ink-Splatter-01-141615821
  • https://loadus.deviantart.com/art/Ink-Splatter-04-141618829
  • https://www.123rf.com/photo_15579327_black-drop-ink-splatter-gloss-brush-paint-spot-grunge-blot-art-blob-oil-abstract-droplet-splat-liqui.html
  • http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/File:Ink_Splatter_1_by_Aushou.jpg
  • http://en.gliamicidipierrot.com/product/pierrot-with-bavero/
  • https://www.videoblocks.com/video/gear-cogs-rotating-system-gearbox-watch-mechanism-jksnwlt/
  • http://www.accuquilt.com/shop/studio-square-12-1-2-12-finished.html

Exploration of the Stream of Consciousness

Alternative title: Excerpt of me brainstorming on Oct 08 at 16:02:32 because I couldn’t think of anything. (Incidentally, even this whole post is some kind of strange stream of thought!)

My initial location was Illyria. Not the actual location, but the fictional version in a book series revolving around a pig farmed named Blart (I didn’t know it sounds like Blood when said out loud). It’s basically some kind of communist country, but as an impressionable 7 year old with no awareness of economics it was a rather revolutionary idea. Here’s the description.

They continued along the road. Each time they passed a stall someone would dash out and give them something, be it some fresh fish or some wine or some elaborate jewellery. However much they protested they could not reject the goods they were given. If a stallholder couldn’t get them to take a gift directly then he just placed the object in one of Pig the Horse’s saddlebags. More and more things mounted up. In their pockets, in their hands and over their shoulders.

‘There’s going to be a terrible bill at the end of this street,’ warned Capablanca.

But they reached the end of the street and there was no bill. Nobody stopped them and nobody demanded payment.

‘Sure, we’ll be arrested as thieves,’ said Beo.

But they weren’t arrested as thieves. And the reason they weren’t can only be understood by understanding the nature of the Illyrian economy.

You see, most economies work on the “buy” idea. You want something. You go to someone who has it. You agree a price. And then you get it.

The Illyrian economy didn’t work like this. their economy, instead of being based on the idea of buying, was based on the idea of giving. Everybody gave a share of whatever he or she had to everybody else. So, a man who has grown a lot of oranges gave some to everybody he knew. A woman who made cheeses gave some to everybody she knew. And so on. Everybody ended up with all the oranges, apples, cheeses and everything else that they needed, which is all that an economy is there for the first place. And if, for example, the man with the oranges had something go wrong like his orange trees getting a disease and dying, then it didn’t mean that he had to starve because everybody carried on giving him things even though they didn’t get any oranges back. They had everything else so missing out on oranges wasn’t so terrible. And as soon as the man got some new orange trees he’d start growing oranges and giving them away again. This is why everybody was always trying to give Blart, Beo and Capablanca things.

Economists from all the other countries of the world had heard of this idea and said that it couldn’t work because people were naturally greedy and selfish and that they liked having more things than everybody else. But Illyrians continued to make it work in complete disregard of economic theory, which was very rude of them in the opinion of the economist. And because they weren’t always competing with each other and trying to make a profit, the Illyrians ended up being friendly and generous to one another and they were the happiest people in the world. It made all the economists mad.

Blart: The Boy Who Didn’t Want to Save the World  (pp. 131-2) by Dominic Barker

It’s very light reading even for a 7 year old, but I recommend it just because it’s hilarious.

However, I decided I didn’t particularly want to do it by virtue of the fact that I can’t visualise it as anything but a children’s show animation (think Adventure Time), and while I like those plenty, what’s the point of being allowed to use any medium if I’m just going to make some boring expository animation with boring expository sounds?

Also, I like trying out a variety of things. I’ve already attempted the mundane and the quirky, so it’s probably about time to do the faux-psychological stuff, isn’t it?

What I hence want to focus on is the stream of consciousness. I first encountered it in literature (think James Joyce), but I think the fundamental idea still works, since it’s a narrative technique. It’s very fascinating to me that one can begin from somewhere, and through the most serendipitous development, end up somewhere seemingly unrelated through a chain of interlinked thoughts. For example:

  1. I need to find my nail clipper
  2. My nail clipper is silver in colour
  3. Kind of like the colour of Pokemon SoulSilver
  4. Thinking about it, Pokemon was a good game
  5. I hope that the new Xenoblade game comes out soon too
  6. And that the Xenoblade soundtrack is still composed by ACE+
  7. I loved that song by ACE+
  8. It reminded me a lot of…… (stream continues)

You wouldn’t think nail clippers and songs are related, but they can be.

I also know this might sound weird, but for inspiration I looked towards the things I recorded. I have a habit of recording my thoughts and dreams. And funnily enough, they are kind of what I’m aiming for.

i dreamt that i walked to the MRT with them regardless, but ended up sidetracked as we went into Vallaha. We went into the boss map where Nagasakihime, an extremely large (we were only as tall as the width of her thigh!) was sitting on a royal wooden plate, wearing a white royal kimono with her long black hair (her face was out of the screen) as she began to rain hail down on us: i cast protective barrier spells but also decided to just run for it. outside, there were many mobs summoned by her and i took care of some of them but ended up dying so i revived myself there, and tried to kill them by seeing the next move they would make (which didnt make things any easier). in the end i just switched over to my Buccaneer, who could just trash them by sending nukes down from platform above. there was a lot of loot: red/gray crabs, bees, stingers… i collected them from right beside a conversation between Lucifer and a crab: the crab was shortsighted but somehow I knew Lucifer would not say anything about me. After i went back i was reprimanded, while they told me about how Nagasakihime boss fight allows 1 person to sleep and gain ores in the dream while the others fight, and i handed over the stuff i looted from killing everything, which also involved ores. at the same time, Lucifer‘s servant encountered the Demon King, and suggested for him to visit his son’s room, which was currently in terrible shape as his son seemed to have killed everything. The King went in and remarked the lack of mobs, but when Lucifer said he no longer wished to be attacked by the mobs, the King coaxed him by showing the number of injuries each Demon King had to have, with his grandfather clocking in the most at 1842 fatal ones, 1536 with medical attention and 182 minor ones. it was inevitable, and Lucifer had to get used to it. which he did not, and so he plotted to escape, remembering a story he once read of a Demon Queen to be who desired not the position, and so when she brought her horse back in after training and as the stable doors were about to close, she ordered the sun to rise instead, as the tendrils of trees ripped the doors open and she flew off on her horse, free.

74% of dream 030916 (edited typos to allow for basic comprehension)

the skin of my eyes feel heavy but even if it close then i cant stop thinking. what else must i do. what else can i finish doing. i want to work on the lyrics i want to write i want to produce keep producing something if its the only way i can get this turmoil into some shape someway or the other if i draw what should i draw maybe another 2 col piece black and white positive and negative space but ive been doing that a lot recently its an apt style for my mood but i must keep progressing, im bored i want to do something else. ive watercoloured too much for work. maybe acrylic again i liked the effect with luna. or matcha paint thatd be interesting or a silver/gold toned work whenever i find my brush pen. who has it? who can i blame? this is why i hate giving anything. even though i tried to no one appreciated it no one seemed to like it no one cared and in the end why did i do it? i hate giving anything. loaning anything. of course you shouldnt be expecting gifts back but i always feel so underwhelmed. i gave this gift which i worked so hard on and no one cares. maybe im succumbing to a superiority complex again, remember when i mentioned this and all i got was the suggestion that i seem to think im the only one whos “unique”? any element of not liking others must mean some form of egoism. “theyre bad” “theyre inefficient” to be able to say that must mean in some form that you think youre better. “theyre bad and i am too”? what does bad even mean what right do i have to define that word, i dont have jurisdiction what must i do to gain that right
my heart skips a beat when my phone drops. it also skips many beats when i have to say nothing ive thought through a lot, i cant breathe it hurts, my heads dizzy, i can focus on nothing but the rapid beating of my heart and i have to struggle to control my breathing, is that what it means to “be anxious” or to “have anxiety” ill never know because ill never work up the courage to believe that i have a “right” to having a mental illness, thats so incorrect to say and that just makes me sound like an asshole, but honestly im just normal norm normal all the way i wont ever be outstanding or dysfunctional in any way

29% of sleeptalk 290717 (edited typos to allow for basic comprehension)

What I enjoy is the fact that they don’t seem like they make sense, but at the same time they kind of do, especially dreams. Once you write it down it becomes truly apparent how bizarre it is, but when you’re still experiencing it, it all makes logical sense to you. The challenge, of course, is to make it make sense beyond just me.

For the dream I find it bizarre that new characters can be introduced so easily without it seemingly weird, and sometimes order is maintained just by the same character appearing again even if in the most different scenarios (and even if you have no awareness of their appearance you can still tell it’s them). Also, how incredibly weird it is that you can have the most detailed information even with the most vague descriptions. And how very different things are happening, but with an adequate explanation you can convince people that it’s all interlinked.

For the sleeptalk it’s also interesting to see how it’s a lot about the person themself. For the me of then, when I think of what I can do, I think of drawing, and that leads to me exploring different mediums. Then the fact that I’ve recently lost my brushpen helps to lead from the subject of drawing to general angst at other people. The real world interrupting the stream of thought and starting a new one is also an interesting concept.

So far I’ve only talked about visuals when the emphasis should be on sound, so let’s try looking at a childhood favourite of mine, hanamushi (花蟲)! Hanamushi has a very distinctive, surreal and eerie style, and I think the idea of reverie was nicely shown in this work:

Short Animation 「Daydream Girl」

I opted against doing the full video analysis since that’s kind of long, but I’d say there are 4 very evident categories of sound.

  1. Diegetic: Could be further divided into real sound and “fantasy” sound, but let’s leave it as is. Sound like the mouse’s squeaking, frog’s clapping, page’s flipping, all fall under here.
  2. Non-Diegetic long-term: The closest to mood music there will be, things like the sounds of chimes and xylophones and bongos which transition from each other as per parts of the video. It helps to define changes in the landscape, with things like the frog getting the deeper sound of drums versus the lighter chime sounds of things like flies.
  3. Non-Diegetic short-term: Like long-term in defining movement, only that rather than characterising whole chunks of areas it provides context as to occurrences, such as a scale ascension when the skeleton unfurls.
  4. Non-Diegetic permanent: The consistent sound throughout everything, the static. I think this is more an accident of sound mixing than actual intention, though, because it’s present whenever there’s sound, but absent whenever no sound track is being played.

I think what helps to keep the sounds remaining united even with different instruments is the common time signature, and what helps to separate is the deviation from that, sometimes with increasing tempo too. There’s a purposeful use of tempo, so fluctuations or off beat sound effects stand out.

I came up with this narrative ordering by myself, but I think it’s a fairly obvious chain of effect which was also shown in hanamushi’s work.

  1. Something of the real world acts as a trigger
  2. The trigger leads onto another thought and another, and another
  3. The chain is broken when something of the real world snaps you back to reality

There are very few examples I could find, but I thought this was good too:

Good Books – Metamorphosis (Buck) (nice variation of sounds, with appropriate animations)

Regardless, the point of the reverie style is to allow a mixture of different types of sounds and mediums. I don’t want to be limited to anything, because it’s all about your head and where your thoughts lead you, so it could go anywhere.

Again, though, it’s about trying to make it relatable to everyone, which is hard because the ways people think are different from each other, so things that have an obvious correlation to me might not link up as well for another. At the very least, though, the location I’m working on is

THE MIND WHEN YOU’RE STONING ON A BUS ON THE WAY HOME AT 11PM ?

It’s very specific, but necessary I suppose. I’m still working on the sequence of images and sounds, trying not to focus too much on images as opposed to linking sounds. The trigger I’m thinking of is the bus halting sound, so I suppose I’d try to find sounds which sound similar, or which are commonly associated with that.

Or maybe I can try the Good Books thing, in having a sort of monologue, although I don’t think that’d be as effective simply because people DON’T monologue in their head (as far as I know, which I wouldn’t because I only know I don’t).

(Excerpt) In Search of Lost Time

Many years had elapsed during which nothing of Combray, save what was comprised in the theatre and the drama of my going to bed there, had any existence for me, when one day in winter, on my return home, my mother, seeing that I was cold, offered me some tea, a thing I did not ordinarily take. I declined at first, and then, for no particular reason, changed my mind. She sent for one of those squat, plump little cakes called “petites madeleines,” which look as though they had been moulded in the fluted valve of a scallop shell. And soon, mechanically, dispirited after a dreary day with the prospect of a depressing morrow, I raised to my lips a spoonful of the tea in which I had soaked a morsel of the cake. No sooner had the warm liquid mixed with the crumbs touched my palate than a shudder ran through me and I stopped, intent upon the extraordinary thing that was happening to me. An exquisite pleasure had invaded my senses, something isolated, detached, with no suggestion of its origin. And at once the vicissitudes of life had become indifferent to me, its disasters innocuous, its brevity illusory – this new sensation having had on me the effect which love has of filling me with a precious essence; or rather this essence was not in me it was me. I had ceased now to feel mediocre, contingent, mortal. Whence could it have come to me, this all-powerful joy? I sensed that it was connected with the taste of the tea and the cake, but that it infinitely transcended those savours, could, no, indeed, be of the same nature. Whence did it come? What did it mean? How could I seize and apprehend it?

I drink a second mouthful, in which I find nothing more than in the first, then a third, which gives me rather less than the second. It is time to stop; the potion is losing it magic. It is plain that the truth I am seeking lies not in the cup but in myself. The drink has called it into being, but does not know it, and can only repeat indefinitely, with a progressive diminution of strength, the same message which I cannot interpret, though I hope at least to be able to call it forth again and to find it there presently, intact and at my disposal, for my final enlightenment. I put down the cup and examine my own mind. It alone can discover the truth. But how: What an abyss of uncertainty, whenever the mind feels overtaken by itself; when it, the seeker, is at the same time the dark region through which it must go seeking and where all its equipment will avail it nothing. Seek? More than that: create. It is face to face with something which does not yet exist, to which it alone can give reality and substance, which it alone can bring into the light of day.

And I begin to ask myself what it could have been, this unremembered state which brought with it no logical proof, but the indisputable evidence, of its felicity, its reality, and in whose presence other states of consciousness melted and vanished. I decide to attempt to make it reappear. I retrace my thoughts to the moment at which I drank the first spoonful of tea. I rediscover the same state, illuminated by no fresh light. I ask my mind to make one further effort, to bring back once more the fleeting sensation. And so that nothing may interrupt it in its course I shut out every obstacle, every extraneous idea, I stop my ears and inhibit all attention against the sound from the next room. And then, feeling that my mind is tiring itself without having any success to report, I compel it for a change to enjoy the distraction which I have just denied it, to think of other things, to rest refresh itself before making a final effort. And then for the second time I clear an empty space in front of it; I place in position before my mind’s eye the still recent taste of that first mouthful, and I feel something start within me, something that leaves its resting-place and attempts to rise, something that has been embedded like an anchor at a great depth; I do not know yet what it is, but I can feel it mounting slowly; I can measure the resistance, I can hear the echo of great spaces traversed.

Undoubtedly what is thus palpitating in the depths of my being must be the image, the visual memory which, being linked to that taste, is trying to follow it into my conscious mind. But its struggles are too far off, too confused and chaotic; scarcely can I perceive the neutral glow into which the elusive whirling medley of stirred-up colours is fused, and I cannot distinguish its form, cannot invite it, as the one possible interpreter, to translate for me the evidence of its contemporary, its inseparable paramour, the taste, cannot ask it to inform me what special circumstance is in question, from what period in my past life.

Will it ultimately reach the clear surface of my consciousness, this memory, this old, dead moment which the magnetism of an identical moment has traveled so far to importune, to disturb, to raise up out of the very depths of my being? I cannot tell. Now I feel nothing; it has stopped, has perhaps sunk back into its darkness, from which who can say whether it will ever rise again? Ten times over I must essay the task, must lean down over the abyss. And each time the cowardice that deters us from every difficult task, every important enterprise, has urged me to leave the thing alone, to drink my tea and to think merely of the worries of to-day and my hopes for to-morrow, which can be brooded over painlessly.

And suddenly the memory revealed itself. The taste was that of the little piece of madeleine which on Sunday mornings at Combray (because on those mornings I did not go out before mass), when I went to say good morning to her in her bedroom , my aunt Léonie used to give me, dipping it first in her own cup of tea or tisane. The sight of the little madeleine had recalled nothing to my mind before I tasted it; perhaps because I had so often seen such things in the meantime, without tasting them, on the trays in pastry-cooks’ windows, that their image had dissociated itself from those Combray days to take its place among others more recent; perhaps because of those memories, so long abandoned and put out of mind, nothing now survived, everything was scattered; the shapes of things, including that of the little scallop-shell of pastry, so richly sensual under its severe, religious folds, were either obliterated or had been so long dormant as to have lost the power of expansion which would have allowed them to resume their place in my consciousness. But when from a long-distant past nothing subsists, after the people are dead, after the things are broken and scattered, taste and smell alone, more fragile but more enduring, more unsubstantial, more persistent, more faithful, remain poised a long time, like souls, remembering, waiting, hoping, amid the ruins of all the rest; and bear unflinchingly, in the tiny and almost impalpable drop of their essence, the vast structure of recollection.

And as soon as I had recognized the taste of the piece of madeleine soaked in her decoction of lime-blossom which my aunt used to give me (although I did not yet know and must long postpone the discovery of why this memory made me so happy) immediately the old grey house upon the street, where her room was, rose up like a stage set to attach itself to the little pavilion opening on to the garden which had been built out behind it for my parents (the isolated segment which until that moment had been all that I could see); and with the house the town, from morning to night and in all weathers, the Square where I used to be sent before lunch, the streets along which I used to run errands, the country roads we took when it was fine. And as in the game wherein the Japanese amuse themselves by filling a porcelain bowl with water and steeping in it little pieces of paper which until then are without character or form, but, the moment they become wet, stretch and twist and take on colour and distinctive shape, become flowers or houses or people, solid and recognizable, so in that moment all the flowers in our garden and in M. Swann’s park, and the water-lilies on the Vivonne and the good folk of the village and their little dwellings and the parish church and the whole of Combray and its surroundings, taking shape and solidity, sprang into being, town and gardens alike, from my cup of tea.

À la recherche du temps perdu (ENG: In Search of Lost Time) by Marcel Proust

The “Episode of the Madeleine”, extracted from here

It’s a long novel which may be vaguely boring if you’re not into literary modernism, but nevertheless I enjoyed this excerpt, which I first saw in the menu of a random cafe I wandered into.

The entire book, and especially this segment, is focused on the theme of involuntary (Proustian) memory. Though it’s not really related to the task at hand, thinking of food and memory reminded me of this passage. Having a memorable scent is somewhat related to Proustian memory, since it’s about being able to evoke a memory without conscious effort. In fact, allegedly, the ‘expression “Proust’s madeleine” is still used today to refer to a sensory cue that triggers a memory’ (The Guardian). It’s not as related to actually translating the scent to a shape, though.

There’s also another copy of the excerpt here, this time with 2 extra paragraphs in front. I find it more charming without, but those 2 paragraphs provide a brief summary of sorts.

Ikebana, back to basics (or: A Paltry Attempt at What is Known as Journalism)

I have never written an article before, so this ought to be good.

On October 2 (Monday), I attended the opening of the Ikebana, back to basics exhibition by the Ikebana International Singapore Chapter 135, hosted at the Japan Creative Centre.¹

The place is essentially a private mini gallery.

The atmosphere is somewhat unnerving, from the average age being twice of mine, to the fact that a doorman opens the door and greets you personally.² Part of it is also perhaps just the minimalistic elegance of the rooms, which are small and uncluttered. An ikebana and introductory placard can be seen before the doorless chamber, no bigger than a typical classroom.

What strikes me most is the natural, yet haphazard, curls of the branches.

Bathed in gentle, warm lighting, the white walls were lined with various flower arrangements at apt intervals. Upon closer inspection, placards could be seen beside each ikebana, inscribed with the name and school of the creator. An overwhelming majority were of Sogetsu, with a few from the other 5 schools being displayed.

The chamber was adorned by white chairs, barely enough to seat 20 people, with an aisle in the middle. I quickly settled in the barren back row. My awkwardness was masked by my act as an enraptured audience member (or, at least, I hoped it was). A long table adorned by a sea green cloth remained empty, though the corner was occupied by a bamboo structure which jutted out at various angles.

Originally without the leaf.

⁴ The event began with the opening speeches of two distinguished speakers: Mrs. Yuko Shinoda, the wife of the Japanese ambassador to Singapore, and Ms. Angela Kek, the President of the Chapter. They spoke of the progress of the Chapter since its founding in 1969, where educational platforms to bring ikebana to Singapore have flourished⁵. Furthermore, the Japanese art of ikebana still remains rooted in traditional forms, despite having adapted to modernity. This was the inspiration behind the theme of “basic”, in returning to basic rules and concepts.

Some other important figures were also introduced, such as Ms. Akiko Sugita, the Director of the Japan Creative Centre, and various members of what, presumably, is their exclusive inner circle.⁶

A live exhibition ensued, showcasing the working process of Mr. Peter Chin, a committee member of the Floral Designers Society (Singapore). A floral designer who has been in the business for 43 years, he created 3 ikebana within approximately 15 minutes each, colouring his working process with live commentary. All 3 ikebana used different bases, and thus, presented various techniques.

Throughout the demonstration, he gave numerous tips involving plant freshness, maintenance, and colour coordination. For example, that bamboo could be rejuvenated through soaking, and that rotting flowers could be saved by trimming. In light of autumn, he chose orange flowers, offset by yellows and pinks to evoke the earlier parts of the season.

Black bamboo. To show the season, he also added mid-autumn lanterns.

As an avid user, he also provided many details on bamboo. Different varieties of bamboo have different qualities, such as with the hardier black bamboo. In addition, bamboo can grow up to half a metre per day, as a versatile grass (yes, bamboo is a grass!). It also stores water easily, and is often so expansive that they cross each other at haphazard angles. He fondly recounted a tale of a guard attempting to accuse him of cutting bamboo in the forest. The punchline, of course, being that said guard could not tell where exactly the cutting had occurred.

Chin also commented extensively on the use of plants to suggest direction. “These are just basically finishing touches to give it more flow,” he explained, as he clipped branches with a resounding twang. “The main feature which is the flowers, then the rest flowing along the sides to give it more movement… to make the arrangement more lively,” he continued, framing the golden chrysanthemums with yet another wispy fern.

For the benefit of everyone, I have summarised the more inferential points mentioned in his soliloquies below:

  1. Local procurement

Noting that many people believe ikebana to require exotic, foreign materials, he specifically worked with local flora, such as ixora, and nameless branches he randomly found along the way. The explanation given was that local materials can still provide beautiful forms to work with.

2. Curating materials

Often, one may find a branch plenty beautiful in its natural state, or end up trimming it far too much. The key, he said, was to focus on what you want from it. If you wanted to focus on the curve of the branch, you could even strip its leaves entirely, as he demonstrated for us. “Don’t feel uncomfortable with plucking off or cutting off!” he exclaimed, as he ripped leaves off a branch. He then proceeded to curl it.

3. Natural joining

Save for certain situations, he attached the materials with no additional assistance from fixatives like glue or rope. Branches were placed vertically, by sectioning the stem into 4 at the bottom to form a solid base; stems were twisted, to counter turning momentum; flowers were slotted into cavities, where they fit snugly.

4. Plant coordination

Even plants which may not seem to work together may come together surprisingly. He recommended keeping a stock of plants which one might wish to use and experimenting accordingly, than making assumptions based on prior knowledge. He also recommended picking colours in relation to each other and the season, as with the black of the bamboo offset by green, and hints of yellow and pink.

Lying abandoned in a side corridor, a vase of additional flowers he had prepared.

After his demonstration ended, there was a food reception and free tea from Premiers. The audience quickly dispersed to either grab the free food, or take photos of his completed works. I was the latter, before I decided that it made more sense to come back later once the crowd lost interest, heading over the tea section instead. A quick look at the menu revealed a nice variation of few teas, from classical Darjeeling to exotic Assam, quirky Chocolate to floral Chamomile.⁸ There was also a bizarre cold tea named Celebration, (which I never got to try due to limited stock, sadly), and the display was rather elegant.

It took a while to realise that the tea counter was to be visited AFTER the food, and thus I headed to the queue for food. Kueh of different colours were displayed, from the beloved rainbow to purples and greens, followed by typical catering trays filled with typical Chinese things like bee hoon and fishcakes. During this time, Ikebana A was also presented to Mrs. Shinoda.

Further exploration revealed that there was, in fact, another room displaying even more ikebanas from various people. Compiled are photos of almost all displayed ikebanas, both in that room and out of.

Even more wandering around revealed an eLibrary, though it was, unfortunately, off limits to the public. Also an office, but that’s not as interesting. With nothing much left to do, I absconded with about 7 different brochures and magazines (and sachets of tea).

In all fairness, it DID say it was free.

All in all, I’d say that I likely interpreted everything differently from the masses, who were more likely there to observe another’s techniques and adapt accordingly (I still have no idea what I was doing there, really). It was vaguely enlightening, nevertheless, to see the different techniques and forms which arose depending on the base and types of plants used. From stiff and tall to soft and wide, from those meant to be viewed only from the front to those which were 3-dimensional, complex coordination was done to bring out something as simple as prettiness.¹⁰

If my failure of an article has somehow spurred you to take a look, the exhibition is open to public and still ongoing until 5 October, from 10am to 6pm! You can find more details here. If it hasn’t, well, at least you kind of know what happened, right?

Personal comments which seemed inappropriate are here, labelled by numbers.

¹ I was mostly assuming there would be another NTU student there, but quickly came to the realisation that I had been abandoned by everyone else who had said they wanted to go. I was easily the youngest person there, even including J.W., so fair warning: you might feel awkward and out of place if you go alone.

² My relief knew no bounds when they avoided calling me “ma’am” like they did the others.

³ I would soon regret this, considering the average height of the people in the room versus mine.

Here, I will take the liberty of admitting that I did not listen particularly thoroughly so I’m not too sure on if they WERE the speakers and who said what.

haha geddit

I personally think the Chapter sounds like a secret society name.

It SOUNDED like vanilla, but I’m quite sure it wasn’t. So I have no idea. Maybe just water.

Personally, the bee hoon was subpar, but the fishcake(?) was superb. I will never reject free tea, but I was vaguely disappointed that there wasn’t Earl Grey, which is easily my favourite black tea. This was resolved by the gift bag they gave at the exit, though.

There were definitely some which were better than the others to me, though, but that’s likely just my personal taste. I particularly enjoyed those which involved wild careening to the left/right, than those which were more rigid with straight, vertical lines. Those which used artificial plants also fell into my general disregard, because of the waxy appearance and lack of natural blemishes which makes everything so much more interesting in my opinion.

Ikebana

I realised I forgot to ever publish the posts, ha..ha… So here I am! As usual, initial models are here, and the final model was based on Model 1.

Before beginning, I took a look at my hoard of mostly-useless trivia in exploring Autumn:

  • Associated with red, orange, yellow (warm colours), e.g. maple leaves, ginko leaves, and just dead leaves in general
  • Mid-Autumn Festival (中秋節 zhōng qiū jié), where a lady ascends to the moon
  • Rabbits, because they’re said to pound moon cakes on the moon
  • Typically a harvest festival, hence the association with the “harvest moon” and stalks of wheat
  • Tsuki (moon) = suki (love), giving rise to “月は綺麗 (tsuki wa kirei; the moon is beautiful)” = I love you
  • Moon is associated with the sea and its tides
  • Some Bloodborne Blood Moon
  • And about ten different songs involving the moon in various ways

Other things I learnt by Google:

  • Mochi is associated with the moon because it’s round and white, and also because rabbits are thought to pound it on the moon
  • Sweet potatoes are offered because it’s the harvest season
  • Soumen is occasionally eaten because the strands represents the Milky Way
  • 秋の七草 (aki no nanakusa) is a common saying to refer to 7 wild plants found in Autumn, as opposed to the 7 herbs of Spring
  • 菊 Crysanthemums are an Autumn flower! (Only knew they represented the Imperial Throne, but not… this)

Firstly, I opted to go for Model 1 simply because I already had another idea in mind for Model 2 which wouldn’t fit well, and I couldn’t see myself changing what I felt Model 2 should become. Also, Model 3 was just not interesting to me. So Model 1 it was!

I decided to focus on o-tsukimi (お月見), the Japanese Mid-Autumn Festival, so that I could bring in food as opposed to just plant material. Overall, though, I wanted it to look like some sort of lantern/moon/boat thing, with a nice curve arching over and enclosing a rounded, glimmery circle.

Also, supplementary material as to the kind of feelings I wanted to imbue. I meant the choral version, but I can’t find any videos!

SPHERE: Mochi and Mochi Mochi (I still think it’s funny).

I wanted a giant mochi, but quickly realised there was no way that was happening. To compromise, I initially intended to have some sort of structure  around the mochi to suggest some kind of extrapolation.

http://www.nsd-fusion.com/template/images/icons/neutron.png
Like this thing.

As it went on, though, I realised a pun even more glorious than that of the yakimochi. mochi = to hold, mochi = rice cake, so it could be just be something to hold mochi, a mochi mochi. And thus, I did so.

CONE: Sweet potato

I just couldn’t really think of any autumn foods which were naturally conical which wouldn’t look completely out of place, so I opted to just cut the sweet potato to shape. This took a little bit of cooking sense, because I forgot that it’s not really possible to cut raw sweet potatoes. I also had to cut it from 3 different sweet potatoes because sweet potatos just don’t grow big enough to have a single piece.

I then used toothpicks and satay sticks to help attach the pieces together and form the hole for the soumen piercing.

CYLINDER: Soumen

As aforementioned, soumen represents the Milky Way, important in stories with the moon. I’m mostly sure that’s just soba, though. In my defense, actual white noodles was kind of glaring in all the wrong ways, so I consciously decided to go with the duller but more natural-coloured soba.

https://2qibqm39xjt6q46gf1rwo2g1-wpengine.netdna-ssl.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/web1_M3DaisoWhatsUp-edh-170131.jpg
$2 Daiso noodles

BASE

For the base, I was already envisioning a shallow, basin like, long and slim tray. Preferably with that one bunny-wheat-moon-mochi design.

https://i.ebayimg.com/images/g/xVoAAOSwPhdVUbcw/s-l300.jpg
I actually bought one, but the shape was… Unsatisfactory.

I just got a normal Japanese plate in the end.

BRANCHES

I wanted to bend it into the arch! I really did! I borrowed my roommate’s hairdryer and everything!

In the end, I decided that if I couldn’t bend it, I could only join branches together to give me the shape I needed. I’m not in possession of a hot glue gun or anything useful like that (and I wasn’t sure if it would make the structure look undesirably unnatural), so I opted to go with a more… Traditional method. (It’s fortunate that I spent 4 years learning this as a cadet.)

I used (very low-quality) coir, which is coconut fiber rope. I personally like coir more than cotton because of the colour and texture, and it worked better just because it blends in better. (That’s a diagonal lashing, by the way.)

I then used a whipping knot to lash the branch to the plate.

ALL THE OTHER PLANTS

As you can see above, it doesn’t look very nice, so I decided to just add a carpet of fallen leaves/flowers/etc to conceal it. Also because autumn is a lot about wilting plants all over the ground (crunching through leaves, perhaps?).

Aki no nanakusa clearly suggests something about autumn, which is that of a lack of flamboyant and prominent plants as opposed to wild weeds, so I went and did exactly that: I plucked fairly inconspicuous plants/fruits/flowers around Hall 2 and the SRC. I went for reds, oranges, browns, obviously. Also, some of those weeds which look vaguely like stalks of wheat.

Then I also just picked up a lot of dead leaves lying around.

When interlacing with the model, I didn’t use anything but natural forces such as gravity, and just wedging plants into cavities to hold them in place.

I considered folding paper crysanthemums, but decided against it since it didn’t really fit the idea of wild and minor plants.

…AND RABBITS

Also partially for the pun. kami = paper, kami = god, and therefore paper rabbits are mystically, holy, god.

To make the sphere look like it’s somewhat floating, I used fishing line. Also, the masking tape cordons off the re-appropriated public space, because my room didn’t have space.

To end things off, here’s a picture from while I was working outside my room.

Visit and donate to the CMN to help support our school cats

Ikebana Processing

Here’s the final post.

I mostly thought of trying to vary the types of cylinders and cones I had (spheres… can’t really be varied, can they?), so I worked on trying to join different kinds, and also changing up the dominant. Also, I discovered that the inside of my cupboard works decently as a background (although the reflectiveness is a little difficult).

Model 1

Dominant: Sphere

Subdominant: Cone (short and broad)

Subordinate: Cylinder (thin and long)

The main idea was the sphere being a huge dominant, so everything else just came in naturally. Initially I was thinking of the cylinder as the subdominant, but Cheryl suggested that it would be better to have a thinner and longer cone if I wanted it as the SO. And I kind of wanted to have the “mountain” cone to fit into the narrative I had in mind, so I upgraded it and downgraded the cylinder!

At first I had thought of having the sphere and cone supported by a long and slender cylinder, but after downgrading I figure it might not be good to give the SO too much power, so now the sphere is kind-of-but-not-really floating (this was a serendipitous discovery because I had no idea how to use the metal wire properly to secure everything, and ended up having extra lengths which became the “floating” region).

ALSO, I am proud to say that I consciously took actions to prevent similar lengths. You will find that the radius of the sphere and the base of the cone are NOT equal (because I trimmed the cone), nor the length of the cylinder and the radius of the sphere (because I extended it with masking tape). And that made 2 semicircles into 1 sphere to replace that 1 sphere which was stolen from me.

Main problem: In terms of hierarchy and visibility, not much. Maybe the sphere could be bigger since the SD is somewhat competitive, but that was the best I could have done with the available foam, honestly… Perhaps from one side the SO may or may not be seen, but it’s an acceptable tradeoff (in my opinion) to maintain the rule of third and hierarchy.

Material thoughts:

  • Sphere: A giant yakimochi!! Pun to show negative feelings
  • Cone: Mount Fuji-shaped taiyaki. A weird spinoff of the Carp Leaping Over Dragon’s Gate myth (Bream Leaping Over Mount Fuji?), representing hope :3 It used to be SO to bring across the idea of giant negativity vs minuscule positivity.
  • Cylinder: I have no idea…

 

Model 2

Dominant: Cylinder (fat and chunky)

Subdominant: Cone (decent sized)

Subordinate: Sphere

I just wanted to try having a chunky cylinder, so the rest kind of fell into place naturally. Also, the idea of the dominant kind of being supported by the SD seemed fun, especially if the SD wasn’t even on its secure base, so I just… Tried it out? The SO positioning was mostly just gut feeling as to where I felt it looked good, but I looked at it only from 1 side so it wasn’t consistently effective from all angles in the end.

For this the cylinder actually reminded me of a book I read, The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake. (This was before the seasons and Japanese and everything happened.) I was thinking along the lines of key types of food in the book (I wont go into detail to prevent spoilers).

Material thoughts:

  • Cylinder: The titular cake which changes everything. Bittersweet, hollow, begins the book
  • Cone: Junk food. Literally supports the protagonist in the middle of the book.
  • Sphere: Dupont’s cooking. Simple, pure. The salvation at the end of the book.

This was incredibly difficult to secure T_T I stuck the metal wire Cheryl gave us through the cone vertically (not the best material. it’s a little TOO malleable), then through half of the cylinder. As shown, the cylinder was formed by joining 2 cylinders, so I made a hook shape and hooked the wire through the upper half, and back through. Also, 2 wires supporting and maintaining the angle of the cone’s lean; same for the cylinder.

(Just for fun I also tried to use an arch for the base because ROMAN ART, but realised quickly that there was no point because the point of the arch is that it can support weight well, and therefore has nothing to do with maintaining the model.)

Main problem: … Actually, not much. Hierarchy remains constant, and elements remain visible from all angles. Perhaps it would be nice if there was less flat planes (caused by the gigantic cylinder, especially from top view).

Model 3

Dominant: Cone (thin and tall)

Subdominant: Cylinder (Thin and wide)

Subordinate: Sphere

The main idea was just wanting a cone as the dominant; again, the rest fell into place then. I’m not a big fan of this model because it looks very… Normal, somehow. Like the feeling of “yeah, there’s the sense of imbalance and skewed lines, but it’s very contained”.

This was also easiest in terms of construction and support, I just used 1 metal wire through the vertical length of the cone (but it was already relatively stable).

Main problem: Consistency in angles. The tapering nature of the cone causes the hierarchy to shift (from top view); the broadness of the cylinder surface causes the SO to be concealed (from bottom view).

 

(EXTRA) After the Sept 15 class, discussing with my sister. It’s not really relevant, but I just wanted to show some of the early musings before the sudden mess of having to include branches, seasons, foods, flowers, etc. Most of the mentioned foods are 和菓子 wagashi, traditional Japanese confectioneries.

Unfortunately, my hamartia is lack of dexterity. I’m the kind of person who failed that one compulsory secondary school D&T module, and can’t come up with ways to actualise ideas, so… Knowing me, trying to make a giant toasted mochi will probably lead to either me losing a lot of money wasted on ingredients, an oven damaged beyond repair and/or a week’s worth of kitchen cleaning chores.

Analysing SHAFT surrealness & Quote exploration

Alternative title: Excerpt of me brainstorming on Sept 23 at 01:03:29 because I couldn’t think of anything.

The fact that I myself, at the moment of painting, do not understand my own pictures, does not mean that these pictures have no meaning; on the contrary, their meaning is so profound, complex, coherent, and involuntary that it escapes the most simple analysis of logical intuition.

I always feel like I have problems conceptualising “surreality”, probably because my opinion on it is very close to Salvador Dali’s, that true surrealism is when I create something that even I can’t understand. But I don’t think that’s something I can do, to let go of all rationality and be able to confidently say that’s what I’m presenting, and yet, I can’t feel comfortable creating something that was purposeful, imbued with meaning, and call it “surrealism”. And that’s problematic for me, because it really affected my ability to complete Project 1, and, as evidently shown by my lack of progress even by this date and time, Project 2.

So I’m writing to make sense of things. When I try to narrow down the scope to something more tangible, then, I think more of SHAFT. They’re a Japanese company renown for their unique style, which often treads the line of symbolic surrealism.

SOME SHAFT ANALYSES

I think the best examples are their portrayals of witches, otherworldly beings of despair (sample 1 and sample 2). In both examples, the witches and their domains are seen in juxtaposition to the “real world”, where they create a world which is nonsensical, filled with extended imagery, repetition, etc.

(Some background knowledge, first. The “witch” is an otherworldly monster, which has her own domain, a world separate from the real world and shaped by her warped consciousness. She also has minions, servants which act as her proxies. Also, Madoka is the pink-haired girl.)

Sample 1 shows the domain of the witch Elly, who is described as the “box witch with a covetous nature. She is a staunchly reclusive witch. Anything she covets she locks away within glass. The thoughts of her prisoners are laid bare, but one can strike her without thought without problems.

The video presents this nature in a surreal way which I will now attempt to analyse.

The witch herself takes the form of a girl. Her torso is like that of a ball jointed doll’s, and her bottom half is a mess of colours (a skirt?) resembling some kind of haphazard oil painting. Everything about her looks like a messy painting, but when presented on screens she is shown to have a clear form, though she is but a silhouette. Perhaps this pays homage to her nature as a recluse, as she appears only through screens, only appearing as her true form when dead. That her body is like that of paint (and of a doll) is also suggestive of how she is easily struck, like paint which can be melded easily (or a doll which can be fragile).

Her servants are humanoid, but anti-naturalistic, and with one wing and a halo. “The box witch’s minions with the duty of transportation. Anything they touch becomes easy to carry.” Again, the bizarre form ties in with the crazed mind of the witch, and the wing and halo likely represents how they are like angels, which “carry” precious things to “paradise”. Their purpose also likely ties in with her coveting nature, in wanting to take precious things. This is shown thoroughly in the video, where they carry Madoka, defying the laws of physics (she’s probably heavy!)

http://wiki.puella-magi.net/File:Card_Daniyyel_Jennifer.png

SHAFT also uses a lot of imagery, and for conciseness I’ll just summarise:

  • Entering the domain: I’m classifying this together because it’s a mess of fast-paced “blink and miss” patterned images. Doors opening, windows with people behind curtains, a screen with illegible green digital text, headless women dressed in different colours, flipcard-worthy girl-walking animation, then the “eye” opening. I think the door is pretty obvious, the curtain not so much (the idea of a guest being anticipated?) The screen, perhaps the witch setting up; the headless women, possibly previous prisoners, all similar looking with only minute differences, and the flipcards, possibly showing the witch preparing herself? The eye opening is rather clear, too, that it’s about entering the soul.
  • Carousel horses: Gaiety? Naivety? I’m not too sure on this, but it’s probably safe to say it shows a certain carefree festivity. The horses are also shown to carry the screens, and line the domain in a cylindrical shape, so they possibly act as the “bars” as well.
  • Screens: Likely the “box” that she is mentioned to be the witch of. The screen likely represents her nature as reclusive, in that she appears only through a proxy. It also shows the ability to lay bare the thoughts of prisoners, where the screens show things about Madoka which the witch should not know
  • Water: Or is it? It appears to be, but there’s no oxygen deficiency, and the water doesn’t seem to adhere to physics. Nevertheless, this probably corresponds to the idea of being trapped within “glass”, where both are clear.
  • When Madoka is saved, au contraire, things shift back to “reality”, the original art style, and proper “real” forms fighting against the surreal witch’s world.
  • Even at the end, “blood” is presented as a colourful rainbow, or black ink spurting out and splattering onto the domain’s borders (the real screen)

I won’t talk about Sample 2, which involves a main character and will definitely have a lot of things which can be mentioned.

Some of their backgrounds too, especially when the background doesn’t represent the physical space as opposed to a character’s feelings, or a certain overarching theme/aesthetic. I mostly like the random/alternating/whatever rhythms, especially geometric shapes with a chaos of intersecting lines at random angles. (1 2 3 4)

HOW THAT APPLIES TO ME

For me, what I find most admirable is the beauty of extended imagery. I really like having consistent ideas running throughout and reminding you of their existence. I also like contrasts, so the whole surreal versus reality/single person vs repeated background/etc is really appealing to me too.

I initially wanted to do some other “real people” films, like the charming (but also non-international release and obscure) Tetsu no Ko and Kingsglaive (just because I’m FFXV trash). For the sake of actually having a linking theme, though, I decided to just go with animated Japanese youth drama films, i.e. over the top drama, some existential crises, social anxiety, etc.

The problem I previously had was lack of personal input. So I’m going to do what I do (almost somewhat) best, which is writing prose about my feelings, then taking the key points and associating it with images.

どうすれば良かったの?(What should I do?)

I’m at a loss as to what to do, with too many burdens pulling me down. Somewhere out there must be some form of salvation, I wish that I could purge it all, throw away everything, but vines hold me down, they ensnare me and whisper to me that there is no hope beyond this mundane existence. Please let me be free. I want to be free from all of this.

  • At a loss (human figure background)
  • Burdens (a mess of stuff)
  • Salvation (water, heavenly and clear)
  • Ensnarement (snakes, holding you down)

I’m feeling somewhat dissatisfied at my current composition, because I did it separately before the others so I don’t feel like I’ve put enough linking qualities to the other compositions (e.g. border shape, repeated/similar imagery), and it feels very different from the rest in terms of overcongestion. I do want to include koi fish and “no solution” math, but it seems somewhat irrelevant…

それが結び。それが時間。(This is connection. This is time.)

Even though my body is torn to shreds and I am wrecked beyond repair, but my existence still remains. As long as my influence on this world remains, even in the smallest shard, I still remain, for all my ephemerality, for all time and space. Even my cough can change the world, or perhaps not, but somewhere, somehow, I changed something in this world, and that binds me eternally to this space.

  • Destroyed body (cracked sculpture)
  • Ephemerality (sand)
  • Influence on world, even smallest (butterflies)
  • Time and space (ancient architecture)
  • Eternal binding (??

私の声消えたことみんな喜んだ (Everyone is happy that my voice has disappeared)

No more, I am afraid, don’t listen to me. How audacious, how filthy the sound, and when even I can see the entrails of these soiled words, no matter how innocent they seemed to be when they came out. I can’t breathe knowing that someone possibly holds disdain for me, by what I said, I can’t breathe thinking their eyes tear me apart and my words which I didn’t think of prior have were always monsters which would create a rift between me and everyone else.

  • Disgusting words (bleeding ink)
  • Twisted words (scrabble tiles, THEA or HATE)
  • Disdain for me
  • Rift creation

もう一回。 (Just once more.)

Just once more, I’d like to remember what it was like. To be able to careen in fields of green with bare feet, sing unabashedly into the night sky, forget the passing of time with fine lines. If I am to spend eternity as a cog in society, doomed to tedium and normality, then please let me remember once again, what it was like, freedom and serenity without the scorns of time, and all of humanity’s business and productivity which I cannot bear.

  • Insignificant piece of society (cog)
  • Tedium (also cog)
  • Freedom and serenity (??)
  • Cannot bear it (??)

[To be continued. Or edited. Maybe]

[Edit: Now my problem is conciseness. Why am I so weak]

☔ Project 2

The layout was meant to resemble an umbrella, where I paired off “similar” images to be on opposing sides (since umbrellas are mostly symmetrical). Also, each photo has a differently-coloured umbrella to make rainbow colours ?

1st set: Internal and external of umbrella

I did close-ups to focus solely on the qualities.

  • Indigo: Colour of mystery. Shows the internal structure of the umbrella, complex and incomprehensible.
  • Yellow: Colour of clarity. Shows the external of the umbrella canopy, how it is water-resistant and simultaneously translucent.

2nd set: Umbrellas as alternative items

I did mid-range shots because the context was somewhat important.

  • Green: Colour of health. Orientation is upright but flipped canopy, context is kitchen, with utensils and cutlery on top (it becomes a table!)
  • Orange: Colour of adventure. Orientation is upside down, context is water body, with a soft toy (just imagine it’s a person) on board (it becomes a boat!)

3rd set: Portrait orientation

There was nothing much linking them to each other but orientation, but I like to think it’s a contrast thing, like time (night vs day) and people (presence vs absence).

  • Red: Colour of passion. Meant to show umbrella thematic association: intimacy (in sharing the umbrella), concealment (in hiding the face), protection (in both begin sheltered)
  • Blue: Colour of sadness. Meant to show the physical quality of portability, where it is located in its typical location, outside the door (where you would casually take it while on your way out)
it’s actually (photoshopped) purple, but different screens show different colours.

Poster: Umbrella Uselessness

  • Purple: Colour of “finality” (the last colour of the rainbow), identifying this as the last photo to look at, in a way
  • Overarching idea: Undermining the umbrella’s usage by showing a situation in which it’s entirely useless, a situation so bizarre it makes people pretend they don’t see me and makes me feel stupid
  1. It’s not raining
  2. It’s indoors
  3. The umbrella is wet on the inside
  • WhatsApp message formatting to show informality and ridiculousness, and how this is typically the kind of thing you’d send to your close people (pictures of stupid things that make them roll their eyes)

As usual, some process shots and stories can be found here.

☔ Project 2 Process

The actual final post is here!

But here’s just some work in progress shots/stories, because it turns out I’m easily amused by myself.

RED

I decided that 1. I didn’t have any more quirky ideas on how to remake an umbrella as something else, so 2. I figured I’d show a different side of the umbrella, in terms of thematic significance. Unfortunately, this also happened to be the time where my ENTIRE FAMILY went on a holiday (without me!), and I don’t… Really have friends.

So I did what I did best, i.e. lost my face. Holding a umbrella, I… May or may not have pointed it rather dangerously at fellow Choir members while begging them to help me after practice. I also may or may not have rolled over and keeled on the floor after about 7 rejections, and had to be towed away. (I considered begging the Choir teacher, but was shot down by the realisation that he’s a busy man.)

ORANGE

I think this image I posted to Insta really sums it up.

Also, being the resourceful person I am, I spotted a lady with her baby in a pram, and asked her if I could borrow her baby to put on a free floating umbrella which may or may not capsize in a 0.6m pool where he could drown! (She said no.)

YELLOW

Fun story. Lei suggested shining a light through the umbrella to show how it’s translucent, and I thought that was a good idea. Until I tried it, and realised I was going to need much darker lighting if I wanted the light to actually show. So I did! Then the light was too bright to actually see the water beading on the surface. So I Photoshopped it! By overlaying two photos. I’m thankful that we live in this day and age.

(Also, Photoshopping it yellow.)

GREEN

Also a fun story. The umbrella evidently could not stand on its own, so I took a tall, slender cardboard box and stuffed a whole roll’s worth of toilet paper inside. This lowered the centre of gravity, and the umbrella COULD stand, surprisingly. Until I gently put a plate on it, at which point it promptly fell over. (I tried taping it down, to no avail.)

Luckily (and surprisingly, that I actually thought of it), I had fishing line left over from Foundation 4D class, so I tied strings holding the umbrella in place. As long as I didn’t move the anchors, of course, and me being me, I… Forgot I placed a line there, tripped, and everything came crashing down.

BLUE

This didn’t really have many issues, to be honest. I managed to get up and take the photo before my roommate left for class, so I used her shoes.

INDIGO

One of the first shots I took, at my HDB void deck. I originally wanted to emphasise the use of the umbrella and its form by Index, the void created by an umbrella when it shields you from rain. (Also, that morning happened to have heavy rain, of which I was lucky enough to get out of the house fast enough to set up in time for it to start raining.)

PURPLE

Inspiration struck on the way back from the swimming pool, where I was drying off the umbrella instead of it keeping me dry, and everyone was avoiding me. I didn’t realise that when the brief said “Select 1 image from Task 1 or Task 2” it meant FINAL image than any image you’d taken (and to be honest it seems a little bizarre to me that you’re supposed to present both a photo and poster version. A lot of the posters seemed to have the “photo” version overlooked because the “photo” as a standalone was insufficient).

So after I took the original photo for sending, I realised it could work, and spent the next half an hour just… Standing there, trying to get the perfect photo with people passing by, and with a water spray to wet the umbrella. (It didn’t work, so I just Photoshopped the person in too.)