Sinister Innocence // [DN1004] Foundation 4D Untitled #1

I had a rather rough childhood and actually started off this project trying to rediscover what ‘play’ and ‘fun’ felt like as a child. Focusing solely on a childlike concept of ‘playfulness’ eventually became too one dimensional, so I decided to incorporate my childhood experiences with gore and disturbance.

I had planned to use parts of a red snapper (i.e. eyes & gills) for the ‘face’ but ended up switching them out for chicken gizzards (i.e. heart, lungs & spleen) due to the lack of vibrancy in colour. Furthermore, with the initial image being blatantly characteristic to a ‘face’, the chicken gizzards now help to bring out an eerie atmosphere to the sinister entity. Shaped in an arched manner depicting smiley eyes and suggestive eyebrows, I intend to evoke an unsettling discomfort in the viewers.

It was rather difficult to photograph this image as previous placements of the organs had left bloodied entrails, patches of moisture and blood stains on the ground. However, I didn’t want to clean up the whole image in post because I found the stains evocative to childlike innocence and a beautiful representation of the effects of unrestrained play.

Parts of it reminded me of the scene from Matilda when Bruce Bogtrotter stole a piece of chocolate cake from the school kitchen knowing fully that there would be severe consequences. Children are playful and inherently curious about their surroundings, so they go ahead and push the limits of ‘play’. In this case, the entity continues to terrorise the viewers and is unable to stop despite knowing that its actions carry such effects. Therefore, further intensifying the discomfort in the viewers.

This image is an emotional piece of work which presents a threatening and sinister entity to the viewers while preserving a stolen form of childlike innocence. I wanted the entity to simulate a sense of unsettling discomfort and fear in the viewers that run parallel to my experience as a child who was bullied and publicly humiliated in school.

In analytical psychology, an inner child is an individual’s childlike self and a sub-personality to the conscious mind, formed before one goes through puberty. Here, the dead chicken heart (the signifier) represents the bullied’s empty self with a thoroughly wounded inner child (the signified). The sinister looking entity (the signifier) on the other hand, represents the trauma imbedded in the bullied as it appears satisfied and even proud to have committed the deed (the signifier).

“Cassette Memories” // [DN1004] Foundation 4D Untitled #2

“People talk about having an inner child. I don’t. I have an inner old lady who says inappropriate things, tells everyone to be quiet, and wants to go to bed at 8 pm.” — Unknown aka. A Fridge Magnet

 

View on Vimeo @ https://vimeo.com/360067067

 

I always felt as though I was born in the wrong generation. The wrong time. Being brought up by my grandparents in the laid-back and more rural parts of Singapore, I spent more than half of my lifetime listening to songs on the jukebox or playing old cassette tapes my aunts recorded when they were younger.

Songs Used:
    • 譚詠麟 (Alan Tam) – 水中花 (Flower in Water) // First Released 1988
    • 周華健 (Wakin Chau) – 朋友 (Friends) // First Released in 1997

These two tracks were digitally arranged into a cassette like audio format and not through a real cassette, creating an illusion of a faded memory I have of cassette tapes. The audio ends quite abruptly with a series of exaggerated tape windings and fervent clicks of the buttons.

Sound

Tapes in the past were often recorded with a lot of background noise and the actual audio being rather muffled (the signifier). So for the first song, I used Audacity to work a high-pass filter on the track while overlaying it with a clip of static and background noise. Afterwards, I reduced the entire track by 12 dB, and was mostly able to bring out the intended effect of a playing cassette tape.

The second song is of a higher quality than the first, and other than lowering it by -16 dB, I didn’t want tamper much with it (the signifier). Being first recorded in 1997, the song had a slight hint of background noise, especially at the start where it opened with an overlaid recording of people talking.

Together with the opening sequence of the track, the snippet of the first song mimics the past (the signified), where cassette tapes were the only portable option of cheap and good audio. The second song on the other hand, mimics and signifies the present (the signified), where no matter how much we try to live in the past, we can only listen to old recordings of songs on our digital devices.

The abrupt ending then signifies the present as transiting into the future where there is no telling what would happen and if the past will ever be remembered or cared about.

Image

While looking through various photo albums of younger me, I came across a lot of photos in which I looked quite forlorn. The image used is a photo of 3 year old me on a bench outside McDonald’s smiling like an eccedentesiast (someone who tends to be reluctant when displaying genuine emotion). I don’t think it was with that intention that I smiled when the picture was took, but the mood of the image as seen, was what I imagined when I listened to the created track.

McDonalds was quite a luxury for schooling me and back then, I could choose between the sweet sweet 60 cent vanilla cone or a small bowl of fishball noodles. (well of course when the choice came, I chose the ice cream cone) Furthermore, the closest McDonalds from my grandparent’s house was 8 bus stops with lots of walking, or 30 mins away. The only way I could ever have a taste of other children’s childhood was if my aged grandma brought me out. McDonalds was a bittersweet luxury close to my heart.

 

“You are an old soul with a young heart; naive enough to love, wise enough to learn.” — Unknown

 

Thank you 🙂

La Libellule // [DN1004] Foundation 4D Untitled #3

“Adolescents are not monsters. They are just people trying to learn how to make it among the adults in the world, who are probably not so sure themselves.” — Virginia Satir

 

Watch on Google Drive @ La Libellule 🙂

 

Concept

For this video, I explored psychologists Erik Erikson and James Marcia’s study on Identity Crisis in Adolescents. There are people in the world who go on to adulthood without achieving ego identity during adolescence and out of the four stages of identity development, I chose to work on the first, Identity Diffusion.

    • Sometimes individuals face obstacles that may prevent the development of a strong identity. This sort of unresolved crisis leaves individuals struggling to “find themselves”.
    • They may withdraw from normal life, be passive and not take action or be unable to make defining choices about the futureThey may even turn to negative activities, such as crime or drugs since from their point of view having a negative identity could be more acceptable than none at all.
    • On the other side of the spectrum, those who emerge from the adolescent stage of personality development with a strong sense of identity are well equipped to face adulthood with confidence and certainty.

Described as “the apathetic state that represents the relative lack of both exploration and commitment”, diffusers tend to lack self-esteem, be externally oriented, have lower levels of autonomy, and take less personal responsibility for their lives. Identity Diffusion can overlap with diagnoses such as schizophrenia and depression, and is best described as a lack of identity structure.


Prose Used:
    • Hermann Hesse – Demian: The Story of Emil Sinclair’s Youth
Videos Used:
    • Introducing Bronze Wood & Leather | Jo Malone London
      • Promotional Video @ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oWev876aOqc
    • Introducing Wild Flowers & Weeds | Jo Malone London
      • Promotional Video @ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YU3kuhwcgao
    • Agust D – Agust D
      • Music Video @ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Y_Eiyg4bfk
    • HAON – NOAH (feat. 박재범, Hoody) (Prod. GroovyRoom)
      • Music Video @ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HWl8XAOQnTg
Songs Used:
    • 憂鬱 – Slow
      • YouTube Link @ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gMGEyl5TRa4
    • j’san x nymano – autumn breeze
      • YouTube Link @ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uE9RjCtFsps

Repeated Motifs

Dragonfly: In most parts of the world, the Dragonfly symbolises change, transformation, adaptability, and realisation. It is often referred to in the form of mental and emotional maturity as well as the understanding of the deeper meaning of life.

Egg: Eggs are believed to be the source of new life from inanimate matter and it is represented most successfully as the origin and secret of being. Bringing hope and purity, it is a symbol of fertility, resurrection and the circle of life. Here, eggs are employed as the visual representation of the attainment of womanhood and the newly invested power of continuing the circle of life in her.

Apple: The Apple, or better known as the forbidden fruit of the Golden Age, is a symbol for knowledge, immortality and temptation. Intrinsically linked to desire and lust, it shows how mankind’s carnal desire to possess love or beauty can quickly turn into lust and obsession. Here, I portray her consumption of the apple to be both an act of obsession and the attainment of knowledge.


Scene 1

    • Innocence & Naivety
    • Simplicity & Purity
    • New Beginnings
    • Puppy Love

Scene 2

    • Sexuality & Sensuality
      • Realisation
      • Introspection
      • Refusal and Denial of what is “forbidden, tempting and sinful”

Scene 3

    • Withdrawal from Life
    • Dark Rebellion
    • Dabbling in Vices

Scene 4

    • Non-destructive Teenage Fun
    • “Playing with the Devil”
    • Basking in Youth

Scene 5

    • Adulthood and Womanhood
      • Understanding that it is inevitable
      • Retrospection
      • Acceptance of Self

Glitching moments and the sequence at the end of the film show that everything is not in reality. It’s all in her mind. It’s her introspection and her process of coming to terms with adolescence, sexuality & sensuality. Likewise, the sudden cut of music in many places instead of a fade out also present the abrupt stages of thought that my character goes through.

I wanted the narrative to be an intimate audio recording of her thoughts that she does not voice . Thus, I overlaid the recording with a low pass filter to create the fuzzy and muted sound as played from a voice recorder.

I actually wanted the piece to be smoother in transition between scenes but I was not able to bind them well enough. Unlike in theatre where sequences need not be linear, I realised that film works in a different way where it’s a lot more immersive. Not being able to play with the suspension of disbelief in my audience, I fully understood how important visual and audio elements were in film.

I was also very worried when creating this piece because I used a lot of motifs and symbols that might not bring my concept clear to audiences who do not understand them prior. If my idea and creative direction was better defined at an earlier stage of conceptualisation, I believe that I could better portray my concept of Identity Diffusion and Identity Crisis in adolescence.

 

“The day the child realises that all adults are imperfect, he becomes an adolescent; the day he forgives them, he becomes an adult; the day he forgives himself, he becomes wise.” — Alden Nowlan

 

Find Me. // [DN1004] Foundation 4D Untitled Final

“Panic is the sudden realisation that everything around you is alive.” — William S. Burroughs

 

This interactive exhibit aims to initiate psychological introspection through the manipulation of tension and human emotion.

 

View on Vimeo @ https://vimeo.com/371916482

 


Who :

General Public w/ specificity to Office Workers (ages 30 and above)

What :

Standing in front of the colour changing LED screen, participants will watch a looped video of 3 minutes and 40 seconds. If they stayed till the end of the video, a daisy will be given to them to take home. 🌼

Where :

2ft by 4ft outdoor LED Screen at Raffles Place Park (the open area above Raffles Place MRT)

Why :

Raffles Place is the heart of Singapore’s Financial District and there is overly concentrated number of banks there. As we all know, with money and time involved,

With loads of time and money involved in that area of the country, people there that I’ve passed by live their lives in an uptight and carry a serious disposition.

When (Operational hours) :

Monday-Friday: 12pm-3pm and 5pm-9pm

Saturday: 12pm-5pm

A majority of Singapore firms and businesses have their employees work 8-hour shifts with an hour lunch break in between, usually from 1pm-2pm. On Saturdays, employees that return for work usually do shifts from 9am-1pm as the maximum work hours per week are capped at 44.

I wanted to match the timings of the showings to that of the office workers’ schedule to ensure the highest possible outreach to my target audiences. By limiting the timings, I can also have more control over the whole exhibition as staff would be able to have comfortable working hours with well-rested breaks in between. Electricity conservation would also be possible and it would be a win-win situation.

How :

People who walk past the exhibit will inevitably be drawn towards the large and brightly coloured LED screen in the middle of the park. Upon closer observation, they will come to see the instructional tag, “Find Me.” and the time counter at the bottom right corner of the screen.

My anticipated first reaction would be them asking themselves, “Find what??” as there is no prior context or explanation provided. Alternating between staring at the plain colour changing screens and the instructional tag, it will come to a point where they give up and approach the staff in which he/she will give them a daisy.

A daisy represents symbolises innocence and purity likewise as represented by children and the colour white. In the animated movie, Tangled, Rapunzel’s Healing Incantation goes:

Flower, gleam and glow
Let your power shine
Make the clock reverse
Bring back what once was mine
Heal what has been hurt
Change the Fates’ design
Save what has been lost
Bring back what once was mine
What once was mine

Here, I use the daisy, as commonly seen in Rapunzel’s hair in white and yellow to represent childhood and its corresponding memories. By instilling confusion and possibly tension at the beginning of the experience, cognitive interactivity allows for me to engage with the participants’ mind and trigger the reminiscing of memories. The main goal of the exhibition is for the participants to realise in his/her own time that sometimes we all need to slow down and relive the carefree days of the past instead of living our lives all too uptight.

A small bundle of old childhood snacks and candy will also be given to the participant alongside the daisy to enhance the desired outcome of the cognitive interactivity.

 


 

“Stop rushing. Slow down and enjoy the beauty of life.” ― Debasish Mridha