Sexting & Locker Room Banter

SM SEXTING 101

Q1. Emojis have taken texting and its related forms to a whole new level. Emojis that conveys happiness? Done. Emojis that emits sadness? Done. Emoji to say ‘baby-i’m-horny, let’s sex text?’ DONE TOO. Bless technology! (Or maybe just the iPhone because (some) Android… there, there)

Vanessa Marin even gave us 50 Example Sexting Ideas You Can Use Right Now. If we can imply sexual innuendos through double entendres like ‘that’s what she said,’ we can do it with emojis too! We shall try to put ourselves into Vanessa’s and try to link some emojis to her 6 sexting styles: Previews, Requests, Things You Like To Fantasize About, Teasing, Past Memories, Compliments.Face Emojis
Gasping: It’s so hot to imagine you tying me up. (Things you like to fantasize about)
Smirking: I’m going to ravage you the second you get in the door. (Preview)
Heart Eyes: I love staring at your [fill in the blank] (Compliment)
Crying: I need you inside of me right now. (Requests)
Locked Mouth: It’s so hot to imagine you tying me up. (Things you like to fantasize about)
Tongue Out: It’s too bad you’re not here right now. (Teasing)
 
Tubular Shaped Emojis (Pickle/ Microphone/ Pill):

A penis, a dildo or maybe ‘even I’m on birth control- so you may..

Metal-restraint-type Emojis (Chains/ Key):
*Cues* (Rihanna, 2011)
‘Cause I may be bad, but I’m perfectly good at it
Sex in the air, I don’t care, I love the smell of it
Sticks and stones may break my bones 

But chains and whips excite me Sadomasochism (SM) is a sexual subculture that involves the active role of dominance and submission. Through these acts are how both parties derive pleasure and gratification. In other words, it is the most accurate definition of ‘pain is pleasure’. Julie and Mike’s SM texting may be a notch lower from physical sadomasochism, but it may actually be a form of foreplay or ‘preview’ for what is to come later that night. ‘In consensual sadomasochistic (SM) scenes, where participants enact fantasies that may involve humiliation and pain, it is common to decide on a ‘safe word’ Cameron, D., & Kulick, D. (2003). In their case, an emoji that orders cease and desist in my opinion would be the plain-white-looking exclamation mark. There are a few reasons to this, (i) it is so plain, it might help to signify that the conversation is getting too mundane for his/her preference or (ii) it is the most ‘sexually-neutral’ (no bright colours) or maybe (iii) imagine this scenario: someone suddenly stands beside you so you need to send an emoji to halt the kinky messages so that the person (with no contextual discourse) would not suspect anything!  What better way than with a white exclamation mark? Additionally, the color white denotes a symbol of safety or possibly even a white flag. Also, who knows we might even have an orgasm-implied emoji in future…. Or maybe there is one, waiting to be discovered. Guess it is getting easier to fake orgasm these days. Damn.

Julie:*inserts white exclamation mark here*
Mike: Goodnight Julie. Xoxo.
Cameron, D., & Kulick, D. (2003). Language and sexuality. Cambridge University Press.
Marin, V. (2018). 50 Sexting Ideas To Use Right Now. Bustle. Retrieved 10 April 2018, from https://www.bustle.com/articles/131300-50-example-sexting-ideas-you-can-use-right-now
Metrolyrics.com. (2018). Rihanna – S&M Lyrics | MetroLyrics. [online] Available at: http://www.metrolyrics.com/sm-lyrics-rihanna.html [Accessed 10 Apr. 2018].
Project, S., Bourn, J., & Bourn, J. (2018). Meaning of The Color White |. Bourn Creative. Retrieved 10 April 2018, from https://www.bourncreative.com/meaning-of-the-color-white/

 

 

LOCKER ROOM BANTER

Q2. I agree with the three entries, albeit to a certain extent. Post 1 mentioned that it should not be taken seriously, Post 2 charged it as sexual whereas Post 3 straight right condemned locker room banters by describing it as ‘racist, sexist and crude.’ Indeed, these 3 are features of a typical banter. However, there is more than Donald Trump to it. 

The primary use of banter is to allow men to relate to one another and connect in an informal way in which positions and rankings are not of concern (Cameron, D., & Kulick, D., 2003). In fact, Cameroon (1997) throned it as a social function by designating it as a form of male bonding. Honestly in my opinion, possibly a version of gossiping. Most of the time, the person in the topic of the banter are those not present as interlocutors.This then proves to show another element; the formation of ingroups and outgroups. By ‘disparaging gossip’ about other men, they solidify themselves as ‘brothers’ which aids in reinforcing their social bonds with each other simultaneously distancing themselves from the ‘out group’. 

An important aim of this banter would be to elevate their masculinity. It is defined as “a set of practices, designed to maintain group power, that is considered ‘masculine’ (Dowd, N. E., 2008). In its essence, the construction of ideal masculinity is not based on what they are but instead, based on what they are not (Mazzie, L. A., 2014:136). This could possibly be the reason why the topic of gays and girls are favorite themes of locker room banters as both are what they do not want to be identified with.

In summary, the way that banters work is that ‘the more you criticise others, the more you belong here.’ It satisfies the social and interpersonal functions of an individual to gain belonging to a community rather than purely criticism for the sake of hurling insults. To put it nicely, locker room banters might be harmless as they do not (actually) talk about it insensitively with the person in topic present. But then again, if we are explicitly talking about Donald Trump.. we wonder if it is really a locker room banter or is it just his shallow mind speaking. 

Dowd, N. E. (2008). Masculinities and feminist legal theory. Wis. JL Gender, & Soc’y, 23, 201.

Mazzie, L. A. (2014). Michael Sam and the NFL locker room: How masculinities theory explains the way we view gay athletes. Marq. Sports L. Rev., 25, 129.