Foundation 4D 1 – G2

Hokkaido Cheese Tart: IV

Overcome by ennui, a human person searches for meaning in her existence by systematically fulfilling the needs that drive human motivation. With each step, she gets ever so closer to the last stage of self-actualisation.

Interspersed sequence of cheese tarts.:

There is great significance here, where the progressive eating of the cheese tart represents a cyclical process of doing the same thing over and over and over again. So many times that you get sick of it, and it becomes jelat in the end. The film ends with the last scene, with the spoon sitting in the tart, most of the tart uneaten.

Sleep, a physiological need – the first in the sequence of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.

She is in the correct setting for sleep, yet she is awake, and stares, blankly, then attempts to entire into a restless sleep. She turns, and all that is left is a peak of the shoulder, a glimpse of an eye. It is semi-voyeuristic.

Another physiological need – Food.

This is perhaps the only thing with proper colour in this film. The sprinkles (as food) are meant to mess with you – the viewer. It is not proper food. It is not meant to be eaten (like this). It represents a ludicrous kind of gluttony. The pouring is slow, and the eating is reluctant. She chose to eat it, but she does not want it. It does not make sense to the viewer.

Lock. Check. Lock lock. Check again. Lock.

The second tier – Safety needs. A manic desire to be safe, to feel safe, but not feeling safe, and needing to check again and again and again. Frantically.

Second tier again – Safety and shelter.

This part of the film (plus the previous door locking) is its climax. The mood makes you feel uneasy and tense and makes your belly churn. The rain and thunder makes you feel that. We are but insignificant in the face of the universe.

Third tier – Love

This scene is subtle. There is a tension between bodies. Then it cuts to the abstract representation of simmering fuzzy warm feelings. Then it cuts back, and the feelings are fulfilled – motivation and yearning for human touch is fulfilled.

Fourth tier – Esteem

It was a bit of a struggle to visually depict this, but eventually self-esteem was the easiest and fastest way to portray it. She checks herself out, then she makes herself pretty.

The last tier – Self-actualisation

After having systematically gone through the four deficiency needs, she attempts to breach the last tier of human motivation – self-actualisation. I think, in some form, there is a nuance of ‘enlightenment’ in this concept. And what better way to depict enlightenment than to literally switch on the light (lemao).

She turns on the light. The heart beats. She is scared. She turns off the light. The cheese tart is uneaten. Self-actualisation is unfulfilled.

(Because there is more to life than going through the motions.)

Hokkaido Cheese Tart: III

Love, rain, and company.

More test shots before the actual shoot –

Love

I had a difficult time trying to visually depict the idea of love. Which is more efficient – literal physical contact and intimacy? Using symbolic objects of a sexual nature? I was worried that because “sex sells”, that this portion would then become the central part of the film and the whole meaning will be misinterpreted if it wasn’t done correctly. But I will try, here goes.

Combining both literal physical intimacy (hands interacting intimately with one another) with an abstract representation of the fuzzy dizziness of

Test shots –

The first two were way too explicit I feel – too outwardly erogenous. I decided to change the background colour to white to tone it down (plus to fit in with the aesthetics of the whole film). Plus also made it more out of focus to push it into the more abstract realm.

Rain (safety and shelter)

Since not all of the rain shots made it into the final cut, I will put them here because I feel like they are worth watching.

Company (Love/belonging)

This, I shot but did not end up putting into the film because aesthetics did not work with me. Also, I felt that it was too abstract to make any real sense to the viewer.

It is supposed to be about belonging and relationships. I wanted her to interact with the rocks as if they were friends and confidants, and surround herself with the rocks as if they were a support system. Maybe I would have put it in the film if I didn’t film it on the grass. Only maybe.

Hokkaido Cheese Tart: II

I went to do further (proper) research on Maslow’s pyramid to properly structure the scenes and to figure out what I really needed to shoot. Also I needed to figure out how to visually depict a concept that is, thus far, mostly abstract and psychological.

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs:

The pyramid does not actually follow the hierarchical pyramidal structure, and the size of each section does not represent the importance/quantity of it’s relevance in the human being. But rather, based on what I have read, Maslow’s pyramid should really be sequence instead:

The sequence is more important than the importance of each, and the hierarchy really only exists between the top layer vs the bottom 4 layer –

Deficiency needs

Denotes the first 4 layers of the pyramid
If the deficiency needs are not met, the human will feel anxious and tense
The most basic level of needs must be met before the human desire the secondary level of needs

Physiological needs

Physical requirements for human survival e.g. air, water, food, clothing, shelter
• Food
• Sleep

Safety needs

Physical safety – the absence of which due to war, natural disaster, family violence, childhood abuse, people might experience post traumatic stress disorder/transgenerational trauma Financial safety – preference for job security, savings accounts, insurance policies etc. Health and well-being
Safety net against accidents/illness
• Rain
• Checking that the door is locked

Love and belonging

Sense of belonging and acceptance among social groups e.g. clubs, co-workers, religious groups, family members, intimate partners, mentors, colleagues, confidants.
People may be susceptible to loneliness, social anxiety and clinical depression
• Intimate relationship
• Pluck the grass and put in circle around her

Esteem

Self-esteem, self-respect. Human desire to be accepted and valued by others. People often engage in a profession or hobby to gain recognition.
“Lower” esteem: need for respect from others e.g. status, recognition, fame, prestige, attention “Higher” esteem: self-respect e.g. strength, competence, mastery, self-confidence, independence, freedom
• Lipstick

Self-Actualisation
• Turn the light on and off

And then, to plan the shoot itself. I feel like this is not too important but I am really proud of this table so I put just put it here on OSS for the world to see.

And in case you haven’t had enough of it, here is the link to the PDF of the whole thing. Bam.

Hokkaido Cheese Tart: I

What is it about human existence that keeps us going every day? As proposed by Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, human motivation can be pared down to 5 categories of human needs: physiological, safety, love/belonging, esteem, and self-actualisation. But what is unique about each and everyone’s existence and motivation for life can’t really be pigeonholed into basic categories. There is a sparkle that is unique to the way we as individuals chose to carry out our lives.

In my film, I wish to explore the idea of a shared human existence; a common denominator amongst the way we all go through the motions of daily living and the effects of living only through this basic common denominator.

I imagine, life would be very jelat if we did that.

Test shots for cheese tart –

I wanted to use the element of a jelat food as a second running narrative throughout the film to control the pace. In total, the eating of 5 cheese tarts will be narrated, with the first tart being eaten quickly, slopily to show haste, and the last eaten with small bites, left unfinished to evoke the idea of the subject being full – jelat.

screen-shot-2016-10-26-at-3-47-42-pm — It is important that the tart is shot with a clean, white background, in an almost documentative way. As if the cheese tart is being scrutinised in a scientific, clinical manner.

Probably unhygienic to shoot here but the sun was going down and indoors was too dark. Chasing the sunlight before torrential downpour ensued.

Test shots for physiological needs (rest, sustenance) –

Started with a lower camera angel just to see what it would look like

Subtlety of an elbow peaking. I like that

Raised the camera angle a tad bit to show the subject’s face

Shifted the subject’s head closer to the left to fulfill rule of thirds

Revelation – I could have raised the pillow instead. It looks so much better now

Sustenance –

Transparent bowl – says something about the ephemerality of material objects. I love how it distorts the face here

From another angle – giving more breathing space to the bowl

Yet another angle – hair gives a wispy, soft foreground element

Pre-insertion of subject, stuck a chair in front of the camera to introduce a foreground element – fg, mg, bg elements create depth in the shot

Camera set up with chair near the camera to create a foreground element

Test shots for safety needs (shelter, security) –

It might not rain on the actual day that I will be shooting. Gotta think of a more realistic way to simulate rain.

Rough cut for part 1/5 of the test shots:

Change my mind_Just In Case

I decided to change my topic after the previous thing.

It was a beautiful thing but I felt that it could not sustain itself – you can only exploit sorrow so much before it gets jelat and stops carrying the depth you want it to carry.

-scene-

What is the value of the photograph when the trigger happy individual can –
compose (carelessly);
snap (carelessly)
to satisfy an insecurity borne of the nature of mechanical reproduction?

I dug up my old archive of photos (the one that was collecting dust in that one folder in the hard drive that never gets touched after it’s been dumped there) and looked through them. I was really drawn to a particular set of photos that I took a few years ago when I was in a particular place. (I wish I still into photography now like I was back then).

The photos were nice. They were very pretty. And I’ve got to hand it to younger Kim for the good colour correction (really, it was more like batch automating the same photoshop action on all of the photos).

Then I looked at the photos – really looked at the photos. And I realised that I had an unnecessary number of them. Almost all came in pairs, and some were repeated 3, 5, 10 times. It was cute to see my thought process back then – just take more than 1, just in case one turns out bad then I can just filter them out later. Then I realized that I still do the same thing today, but to an even greater degree. It’s so easy to take photos, and so easy to throw them away. It didn’t use to be like that with analogue film. Hah. I say that as if I lived in that generation. But yes, film is precious. Each shot counts, so you actually take the time to compose and use the correct settings before actually pressing the shutter. With the digital camera, none of that matters anymore.

4d-assignment-2-final6 — Including more than just pairs to vary the pace of reading, also to imply quantity (more is better when it comes to this)

4d-assignment-2-final8 — 4 trains of thought – 4 camera settings

4d-assignment-2-final9 — 4 trains of thought – 4 camera settings

4d-assignment-2-final13 — The last spread reveals the location.

Processed with VSCO with hb1 preset — The cover.

Other things I wanted to say –

As much as possible, I didn’t want the images to have people in them (collectively, living things). Because people move and people change in their state of being – it makes sense to take multiple photos of a living object because it is different at every slice of time. With still objects like buildings, however, it makes no sense whatsoever to waste frames on the same thing over and over again because the way it is one second ago will be the same way it will be one second later. The only thing a second photo will satisfy is your insecurity of not having taken a good photo.

picmonkey-collage — People change in every slice of time.

2.What is it about another country that makes it so much more beautiful than your home country? Does an American find America as beautiful as outsiders do? Do foreigners find Singapore beautiful? I have tried to answer this question for myself and have found that (personally), anywhere with a good amount of sky is beautiful. There is not enough negative space in Singapore.

The Scene of the Crime – A meditation

The Scene of Crime is a complex, poetic documentation of the disappearing landscape of Odisha. Kanwar’s film vividly humanises an issue that is so often perceived to be a statistic; mere ink on paper.

Through purposeful cropping, Kanwar brings the viewer into intimate scenes of the landscape. The abundance of close-up shots offers a new perspective of seeing – forcing one to look, truly look and scrutinise what is referred to as the ‘evidence’ of the crime, rather than glossing over it in a wider shot.

The camera is almost always stationary. What is captured are subtle movements of the landscape – blades of grass trembling in the wind, the vibrations of a branch as a butterfly departs from it – nature subject to nature. These subtle movements are furthermore enhanced by the stillness of the landscape. In each shot, there is always a stationary element that contrasts the aforementioned subtle movements. For instance, the trembling of grass blades against the stillness of the ground, or the shivering of leaves against a strong, sturdy branch. The stationary does not take away from the movement, but in fact, enhances it.

Another well-executed aspect of the film is its pacing, which is closely tied to the sounds included in the piece. From Map 1-5, there is a clear build up of intensity. Kanwar makes use of natural sounds like omnipresent wind, violent rustling of leaves and distant thunder to complement the visuals, adding multi-sensorial layers to the already immersive piece. Furthermore, it appears that the audio has a symbolic presence. The sounds of nature accompanying each shot are almost like cries of anguish as if nature itself was calling out in pain as it struggles against its imminent extinction. This is made more poignant by the stark diminuendo following Map 5, where the sounds noticeably dim from the piece, evoking an eerie defeat, an almost certain ‘death’ of the forest.

Beyond mere visual-auditory stimuli, Kanwar engages the audience intellectually through thought-provoking captions.

“She searches for him, sometimes amongst the dead, sometimes amongst the living.”

The use of he/she personification elements invites the viewer to ponder about the identities referred to in the caption – after all, there is no distinct human-to-human dialogue or narrative in this film. One then considers the involvement of third party stakeholders. Who are the ‘bad guys’ that are destroying the landscape? Who are affected by these changes? Is there anyone doing anything about it all? The incongruency of the relationship between each text and its accompanying visual allows the viewer to work things out for himself, rather than have the story be told to him directly.

Going back to an earlier point, what really stood out to me in the whole piece was Kanwar’s effective use of a contrasting element to bring out and enhance another element that is its polar – using stillness to bring about movement. This purposeful juxtaposition is not only symbolically significant, it is also quite visually stunning. It is on this note that I wish to explore similar visual themes in my third assignment. Perhaps I will stretch the concept of visual juxtaposition into other realms – darkness & light, fast & slow etc.

Of course it is happening inside your head, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?

The thing about memories and old photographs is that as time goes by, what you remember of what you remember becomes less concrete in your head, and you begin to make up your own realities and construct your own past.

All babies look the same – kind of. So when we look at old photographs that don’t belong to us, we kind of place ourselves in that scene, and so begins a process of memory construction.

Processed with VSCO with a5 preset — All babies look the same. This could very well be you

To really remove the identity of the person in the photograph, I thought of ‘erasing’ the facial features of said person in the photograph by physical means. Rubbing it off with turpentine seems to do the trick.

There are other methods too – like erasing, sand papering, liquid papering it off, but I really like that the turpentine preserves the original skin tone, and is easier to control (makes it easy to go for small, detailed areas).

Robert also threw out some ideas about physical alterations of photographs, and this really caught my eye:

polaroid-lifts — Polaroid emulsion lifts

I think this would tie in really well with the whole idea of memory being a distant thing, memories being distorted and ethereal etc. The instructions were fairly easy – plunge in hot water, put in cold water. But actually doing it was another thing in itself.

Plunged in hot water for a while. Some parts of the backing kind of flaked off but nope, nothing happened

Then went looking for alternatives and recalled a photo-transferring process I’ve heard of before –

I think I’m heading in the right direction, but perhaps a thinner layer of varnish (it was too thick, so I wasn’t as close to the thin, fragile effect of polaroid emulsions).

Conversations with Myself

Artist’s Statement

There is something very affecting about old photographs. You’re transported back into a slice of time, one that is a part of a hazy reservoir of long-forgotten memories. The inevitable side-effect of time travel is that you can’t help but make comparisons between Life back then and Life at the present time, and perhaps Life worked out for you and these memories evoke a sense of pleasant nostalgia. Or perhaps not.

In Conversations with Myself, Nguyen explores photographic evidence of her childhood, drawing parallels between Life^before and Life^now. In the series, Nguyen imagines speaking to her younger self through the photographs as an act of affirmation, of validation, of questioning and (not) finding answers. The viewer, then, is invited into the intimate world of the artist, to feel, to empathise, to hear her voice in your head. And perhaps after some time, the voice of the artist blends and morphs into a more familiar one, your voice.

I began approaching this project in the specific sequence of coming up with text (channeling thoughts and feelings) before searching for an appropriate photograph that could accurately complement the text.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA — Preparatory notes before embarking. Each section is a collection of individual trains of thought. I highlighted phrases that I thought would be good.

However, it became too restrictive after a certain point and so the process evolved to become a more organic one – first looking at photographs, then capturing my stream of consciousness in textual form, trying to vividly recollect details of the moment, and picking (sometimes altering) the most affecting phrase.

It felt good, in a way, to really allow myself to feel what I needed to feel and in a way, it was liberating to put it down on paper. It is only with great hopes that the emotional baggage translates itself through the text and the images.

I will talk about a few –

The choice to create film stills out of photographs was really one that is instinctive, so I wouldn’t say that too much thought has gone into it. But I suppose it works because the photographs are frozen slices of life, that when ‘subtitled’, becomes more than a still moment – it extends and taps into the dimension of time, without being altered from its frozen state.

The choice to include Chinese versions of the text, however, is a conscious one. Not only does it effectively mimic styles of film projection, it also adds a certain dimension to its English counterpart. The Chinese language, to me, is one that is very romantic, and there are certain things that you can only say in the language that will not carry the same meaning as it does in English.

In the above photograph (if one were able to read both texts), the viewer gains additional context of the statement (它们就在你身旁 – they’re right next to you).

This one says “Don’t expect any more from him.” and “He’s not going to support you anymore.”

I really enjoyed this visually – how blurry the photograph is, how little it shows, yet the curve in the eyes and the stoutness of the nose says so much and shows so much that the subject is smiling.

There is a short string of photos that through the series that run on a more positive note – a more encouraging, supportive one, as if a subtle, constant reminder that everything is going to be okay and that things will turn out all right in the end.

This one is my favourite. Something about the absolute innocence, and the telling carefree-ness of the child, that makes the text all more powerful.

Misc 3 — First experiment with physical alteration of the photograph

I really wanted to strip away my identity in this particular photo, to really emphasize the idea of ‘not birth’ and of death. Eventually, I found that the flowers (chrysanthemums) was the most elegant way to go about it, and the most symbolic too, with chrysanthemums being representative of death in the Chinese culture.

Erasing did not work so well on this paper type

I also wanted to strip away the identity of my father in this photo. Symbolically, to portray my lack of emotional attachment to the man. Purposefully, in the hopes that the viewer may be able to empathise with text and visual, and draw their own connections without being hindered by an unfamiliar face.

Here are the rest-

I have decided on this final arrangement. The series has no linear narrative, so it is acceptable to let your eyes jump from one image to another. The last piece however, is intentionally left face down on the ground – to evoke a sense of mystery, of questioning, of this-is-so-upsetting-already-how-worse-can-it-get?

The images are placed at a child’s height too, as if presented to my younger self.

The viewer discovers the fallen piece, an out of curiosity, picks it up.

Overall, the series is meant to evoke sympathy, with the hopes of evoking empathy as viewers try to put themselves in my shoes.

Post-evaluation: I had a thought, though, that the images are only affecting simply because those viewing it knew me personally. And thus it was easier for them to form an emotional attachment to the piece. What about strangers, then, who do not know me?

I employed my friend (in white) to approach a stranger (I could not approach the stranger because then that would establish an emotional attachment already) to ask what she felt when looking through the pieces.

It was as I feared. The stranger was not able to connect with several of the images. But she did find a few rather powerful, so that’s okay. I can live with that.

#throwbackthursday (Tentative)

Mummy, I want to be an artist when I grow up.

Young Kim c. 2003-2008

As I awkwardly stumble into adulthood, I find that I am no closer to figuring out what ‘growing up’ really means. One would think that the more you know about the world, the clearer everything becomes but in fact, the opposite is true. The shitty thing about growing up is being right back at square one – I find myself asking the same questions now as I did when I was younger, and still not having a proper answer to them.

I began this series when I was in a very dark place. It was accidental, really, the choice to pair words with images of my childhood. The images became almost haunting, each photograph of a younger self echoed the same troubling sentiments that plague my mind today. In this deeply personal series, I aim to find closure in the self, in family, and by the end of it, hope to find the bravery to forgive myself for the parts of me that are beyond reach.

I want to be happy when I grow up.

4D: Photo Scavenger

“The Earth Observatory of Singapore has, therefore, two purposes: acquiring scientific knowledge on some of the most complex natural phenomena, and passing this knowledge on to affected populations so they can use it effectively and in a timely fashion.”

No DOF with an iPhone – send help.