Finding self with self portraits☆Final

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Final installation of the series!

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Installation on wall!

I felt that this was series of photos for me to portray who I am, and what I am. I am not someone who easily expresses my inner feelings out (even to the people closest to me). There seemed to be a gap between me and the other party, not one that is intentional, but unknowingly. As much as i want to express my true feelings or problems, it is always hard. After much thinking, one of the easiest way is to portray it through a proxy,in this case my pooh which has been by my side for so many years. Unexpected revelations and explorations through this short journey of self portraits.

Selecting the photos is one thing, deciding how to group and display them is totally another matter. For this installation, it is divided into 2 side, the first 3 (inverted L shape) as a group and the right L as another. The 3 of them flows as a group. the 2 photos on the last row are purposely place out of the perfect rectangle. It has that sense of being “drop out” and yet, with them, it completes the picture. My purpose is to make the viewer’s mind fill in the missing gap (which humans love doing). They function as a whole, as function well individually too.

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the 4 that didnt get selected for the final

The final 12.

 

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What u see on the outside doesnt necessary represent how i am truly feeling

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love how this moment pooh and i has the same expressions //the main reason this was chosen into the final

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6-min

the flow of action/human. foreground v mid v back. and pooh blends in seamlessly

5-min

VS symmetry

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Thats all folks~ thanks for reading. Even though this assignment was brain wrecking(for me) and cause me a fever~ it was all worth it^^  for knowing myself a little better

 

Finding self with self portraits☆その3

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Finally, after the first 2 rounds of photos, i guess that i got a clearer picture of what I wanted. Prof gave a very valuable suggestion on how i should be in the photo with pooh (which i tried to avoid alot in the previous rounds). I guess this was the best way (for now) to show the connection between me and my pooh. The different expressions that he can make, and using this, I selected the theme of “daily life”, which i suppose it will shows me, for what i do and who i am.

a rough plan on what to take

a rough plan on scenes to take

With me finally stepping out of the house, the photos that i gathered in the end was a humongous amount (>1000 photos!!!!) I am not kidding.

In a public environment, and doing weird things like buying and eating ice kachang with pooh is bound to get many weird stares and comments throughout the session. It caused quite a little commotion with me taking these photos in a quite crowded kopitiam and the stall owners were all discussing about it. I have to explain to all of them that this is for my assignment. It is indeed embarrassing at first but when i was just focusing on how to get the pictures that i want, the surroundings didnt mattered to me anymore. The only thing worrying was if the management would chase me out of the place.

What i wanted initially was a 2 view of things. for e.g. POV of me & POV of pooh. some scenes were suited for this but some werent. Alot of photos got filtered out in the end. (PICKING 12!!!! from the 1000). This was a pretty great achievement for me XD

Some photos that might have made into the final 12:

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Finding self with self portraits☆その2

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After that first round of photo taking and discussing with Prof Vladimir, I realised that the photos didnt resound to me. They did not portray the emotions that i wanted and it didn’t show “self portrait”.

I still wanted pooh as my main object that will represent me. Hence this time i took a darker approach and played around with the natural lighting and silhouette. I realised that it was still the loneliness of being a only child that resounded more and i wanted to portray that.

acting with pooh

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I loved the evening lighting that shone through the windows and how the light falls onto the pooh. 

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viewing in Pooh’s POV? at the same time, showing his scars.

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What are we always looking at?

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me/pooh. looking at the source of light, the end of the dark tunnel?

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i like how the unfocused effects came out. staring at something too bright will cause us to lose sight of our goals.

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Finally seeing whats behind that source of light.

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This set of photos told(?) a story much better than the first time. however, they were all similar and only looking at one direction. even though i like the lighting, it is considered boring and it would make it as a set of photos.

After another consultation session with Prof,  I realised that being stuck at home isnt the way to do this. TIME TO GO OUT AND GET SOME PICTURES!

Finding self with self portraits☆その1

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Self portraits, it was something that I didnt really like exploring. Self portraits feels like exposing yourself to the whole world. Vulnerable.

After some brainstorming, i decided to go with the object that was closest to me. It was my first pooh stuff toy which my mum gave me as a present during kindergarten. It has been together with me since and hence i thought it would very well represent who i am.

brainstorm on how to frame the picture. realises that doing the actual positioning is really difficult

brainstorm on how to frame the picture. realises that doing the actual positioning is really difficult

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How pooh and I are always connected, sleeping together

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being left alone. when the party is over

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I really love this photo. showing the young me vs the pooh now

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The scars accumulated over the years. Showing how pooh(me)has been through rough times

These are the first set of photos that I took. I wanted the theme of past vs present and it as my only friend as I am a only child.  IMG_3230-7 IMG_3237-8 IMG_3238-9

 

I wanted my photos to give that sense of nostalgia and loneliness (as what i am feeling). The feeling of being left behind, and also, pooh represents me too.

After consulting, Prof Vladimir, we realised that pooh can portray emotions even though technically it is a inanimate object. Time to explore this in the next attempt!