“That’s not the way I remember it!”
(Draft 2)
* edits are bolded and italicised
** this post is a little bit messy, because I’m still trying to figure out the ‘punch’ for the best ending.
Logline:
As three friends are walking home, two of them recount their drastically different experiences to their third friend, describing imaginatively (or not?) about their encounter with a dog in the woods, when they had been tasked to retrieve a baseball.
Synopsis:
Three friends, Cheddar, Brie and Mozzee are returning home together. As they go, Cheddar and Mozzee talk about what happened at baseball training in the park, when they had lost the baseball in the woods and had to go retrieve it. In the woods, they encounter a dog. Cheddar (who’s afraid of dogs) and (bold, brave, go-getter) Mozzee, have completely different recollections.
[Ending 1, if it was a short story that ends at the 1:30 mark]
At the end, the three of them laugh about it, but the scene cuts to a pair of glowing eyes at the fringe of the woods, suggesting that perhaps there is more to the woods that is not merely the work of a child’s active imagination…
[Ending 2, blockbuster movie – just kidding, I meant short film]
The baseball turns out to be very important to the three of them and their friendship, so they decide to return to the park with Brie to retrieve it.
Extended plot:
Cheddar and Mozzee wait outside the ballet studio, for their friend Brie, to finish his weekly Ballet class. It is a ritual of theirs, the three best friends, to meet up each week after their respective classes – Cheddar and Mozzee have just come from Baseball practice at the park, and are sweaty and caked with mud.
As Brie exits his class, Cheddar and Mozzee are arguing. A frisbee whizzes past, making Cheddar squeak and duck while Mozzee leaps to catch the plastic disc, laughing. She tosses the frisbee back to an appreciative audience. Brie compliments her catch, looking on in amusement as Mozzee teases Cheddar for his reaction.
They begin to walk, heading for the ice-cream parlour that they have their weekly hangouts at. On the way, Cheddar and Mozzee begin to talk about what happened earlier that day, when an important object of theirs had gotten lost in the park’s woods.
Cheddar recounts a dramatic and terrifying encounter with a giant and fearsome beast, play-acting as if he were deep in the amazonian jungle – despite the adventurous description, his encounter reveals his fearful and cautious character as he fails to confront the beast. At this point, Mozzee interrupts loudly, complaining, “That’s not the way I remember it!” Brie chides her for interrupting, for which she seems abashed about (although she still doesn’t apologise to Cheddar), and Brie softly and curiously asks Cheddar about what happens next. Cheddar flushes in embarrassment, confessing that he had run away and had not been able to retrieve the important object they had lost.
At this point, Mozzee argues vehemently that Cheddar had gotten it all wrong, and begins her own recount. Mozzee recounts a magical and picturesque forest. She play-acts as a knight, bravely marching through the beautiful, fairytale-like woods. She describes an encounter with the “magical guardian of the woods” who had been about to bestow the important object upon her before she was interrupted.
“You didn’t get it back either,” Chedder complains. Mozzee sticks out her tongue at him, arguing that ‘at least she hadn’t turn tail and ran’ – Brie quickly steps in to mediate; he also interjects quietly but disappointedly, “So you lost it? The ball?” Cheddar and Mozzie glance at each other, looking upset – it is revealed then that the ball had been an important gift from Brie to Cheddar and Mozzee, as a token of their friendship.
Cheddar makes a decision, and hesitantly suggesting that they return to the woods – together, this time. Mozzee, who seems unexpectedly contrite, agrees. Brie tries to lighten the atmosphere by saying that if anything, Mozzee would protect them. The three of them begin to head back to the park.
(…)
Thoughts?
How long is this supposed to be/going to be? I guess it seems like a rather inconsequential question, but it’s rather important to me because I think knowing the length would help me about to punch in the right character traits/plot points; I’ll ask Jesse about this later.
At this point though, I have no idea how to end it! #frustratednoise I have ideas, so I’ll just plant them here first –
Ending 1:
Mozzee finds the ball when she goes into the forest, and with Cheddar being comically afraid of the harmless looking puppy. They do not return to the forest. At the end though, the scene cuts to the park; there is the sound of children laughing and screaming with delight as they play baseball in a nearby field – but the camera zooms towards the edge of the forest, where a pair of glowing, blinking eyes appear and a low growling noise is heard, suggesting/foreshadowing the presence of a mysterious beast.
Ending 2:
Mozzee does not find the ball and the ball turns out to be important to the friendship of the three best friends. The three friends decide to return to the forest, where they get more than they bargained for and meet a bear. It is then that they are saved by the puppy that had scared Cheddar earlier. The three (and dog) escape with the ball and their lives.
After discussion, Ending 3:
Combining Ending 1 and Ending 2. Thank so much Gab & Gloria for your help!
Mozzee does not find the ball and the ball turns out to be important to the friendship of the three best friends. The three friends decide to return to the forest. After a suspenseful sequence, they find a Corgi puppy with the ball in his mouth. Brie and Mozzee are amused, but Cheddar vehemently insists that he had seen a real monster. The three leave the forest for ice-cream in a much more light-hearted tone.
At the end though, the scene cuts to the park; there is the sound of children laughing and screaming with delight as they play baseball in a nearby field – but the camera zooms towards the edge of the forest, where a pair of glowing, blinking eyes appear and a low growling noise is heard, suggesting/foreshadowing the presence of a mysterious beast.