“No, I’ve never felt the need to really (label my sexuality). No, I don’t feel like it’s something I have to explain about myself.”
“It’s weird for me. Everyone should just be who they want to be. It’s tough to justify somebody having to answer to someone else about stuff like that.”
Those are the answers given by Harry Styles, one of the members of One Direction boy band, when asked to label his sexuality. While he is right that no one should have to label their sexuality, it is also important to know that discrimination and bullying are still prevalent which put pressure on them to label themselves so that they would not feel out of place.
This article is written from the point of view of a person whom she said dated all kind of gender there are. Hence, she is a non-straight person and also, an LGBTQ advocate. However, she is reluctant and disagrees with putting a label on her sexuality status because she dated all kind of gender. This is because she stated that she agrees with Carrie Brownstein who hates the sexuality categories and never think of her sexuality as an identifier. Instead, she identifies herself by the types of relationships she has. She believes that no one is just one of the labels. Things may change depending who you show it to and you choose when they change. She felt like many people are more sexually fluid then they think they are. But people are just afraid of what that means if they do not define and categorize themselves as one of the labels. Hence, she is encouraging people to stop pressuring themselves in choosing a label for themselves.
Since language is used to think and thus during the process of classifying, linguistic labelling is required. Therefore, people think there is a need to create a label for a sexuality that is deviant from what is known as ‘normal’ and expects those who are deviant to categorize themselves appropriately.
In my opinion, true enough that having a label would serve them with a sense of belonging as well as a community that they can relate to. They can also finally able to educate the population with the different type of sexuality.
However, I would have to agree with this article. As mentioned in the article, she felt like many people are more sexually fluid than they think they are. Sexual fluidity which refers to that their sexual identity whether they are lesbian, gay, heterosexual, bisexual may change over time. It is not something that is fixed. Therefore, there should be no pressure and stress if one is not able to identify themselves. It is most certainly not necessary to identify yourself if you are not able to and that is alright. Having a label is considered as fixed and one cannot force themselves into a community they cannot relate to especially when they know that their sexual identity will change in time. The society will always be judgmental and even adopting a label would not be enough. There will be a need to show and conform to your sexuality. There is even certain “correct” behaviour imposed on gays, bisexuals, lesbians and transgender as well. Therefore, if one knows that he or she is not able to conform to these labels because of sexual fluidity then there is no rush or need to pick a side.
There is a lot of hatred circling around “people who are not the same” or basically homosexual. Therefore to resolve this, many think that they need to quickly put a label on themselves so that the hatred will not be severe as not having any labels. But, people will have to remember that not having a label is not the reason why they would hate you for. But it is about not fitting into the boxes or conforming to the assigned role is the large reason why people are hating on others. Therefore, it does not matter what linguistic labels are used, people are still going to hate because of the difference or deviance in sexual preferences. Bottom of the story, do not be scared and be proud of what you are. You do not owe anyone an explanation in regards to your sexuality. There is absolutely no need to pick a side and do not allow labels to define your sexuality when it is not really who you are.
A documentary was also made to explain and clear up about what sexual fluidity truly is.
References:
McNamara, B. (2017). Harry Styles Says He’s Never Labeled His Sexuality. Teen Vogue. Retrieved 4 March 2018, from https://www.teenvogue.com/story/harry-styles-does-not-label-sexuality
Moore, L. (2015). Why I Won’t Label My Sexuality. Cosmopolitan. Retrieved 4 March 2018, from https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/news/a39306/why-im-not-labeling-my-sexuality/
Cameron, D., & Kulick, D. (2010). Language and sexuality (pp. 25). Cambridge: Cambridge University Press.
Hi Nami,
Interesting topic on sexual fluidity. Yes, having labels has its pros and cons. On one hand, labelling oneself can be a form of liberation or a mean to identify themselves as part of a community. While on the other hand, it could be confining and limiting. So when does the categorising stop? There are so many updated terms nowadays, from pansexual to questioning, and yet, not everyone is accepting of these unfamiliar terms that they end up associating these words with negativity.
With sexual fluidity though, the pressure can be put to rest. There is significant debate over whether sexuality is stable throughout life or fluid. But there have already been some people who said they don’t have a fixed sexual orientation. And that’s fine. I guess this term is a more current and inclusive one that makes one’s sexual orientation open and changing. No matter who you’re attracted to, the term covers the entirety of your orientation.
I agree. Whatever the label, you do you. (Just don’t harm others.)
I agree with the points you’ve made in this post, especially the one that states that sexual fluidity is a good step towards the acceptance of non-heteronormative relationships that is present in society today. I think, at the end of the day, as long as you are confident, secure and ‘safe’ in your own sense of sexual identity, I personally think, to hell with what others may think of you and your sexuality. As Eleanor Roosevelt has said, nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent. I guess the same applies to your sexual identity too.
This is a very interesting write on sexual fluidity. I agree that there are pros and cons when it comes to the labelling of one’s sexuality. As the twitter post image attached in your post says, if everybody understood gender fluidity, there would be less pressure to fit into gender labels. However so, I must say that this is something that will not be easy to be done, because then that would mean to change heterosexuality to just another one of the sexualities, away from its current status as the ‘norm’. And this would be difficult because for most things, there is one that is dominant and the rest would just be seen as ‘others’. In addition, because of how heterosexuality is seen as the norm in most parts of the world, and people who identify as LGBTQ are bullied and discriminated in schools, many kids growing up deny any possibilities of being LGBTQ in order to fit in. This means that it would be even harder for gender fluidity to be a common thing as most people reject it to protect themselves from discrimination.