For this project, we went through alot of ways to get deep into our emotions. SUCH AN EMOTIONAL DRAINING FEW WEEKS IT HAS BEEN. Especially after our consultation because I felt that we were suppose to get real with our emotions and bring out our raw inner self even more (I hope I make sense). So I’m going to share the processes – some from the start, some from after the consultation.
Starting off by using basic materials first like pen, chalk, white paint, white marker etc.
I went to explore more than just using white markers on balck papers or pens on white papers – I wanted to explore more on techniques first. So in the picture below, I explored on materials to use for mark-making while using the technique of ‘frottage’. For some I used crushed aluminium foil, table mat, sponge, dead moss and tree bark. And for the mediums I used basic stuff like ink, charcoal, and white titanium pen.
It’s interesting how the mark lines changes depending on how much force you used to create it, and the different directions you draw it on could create different marks.
I tried using 1 different technique wondering what if poster colours or acrylic works different ways seeing the different lines and texture they give on canvas. (seen below) Maybe the silver could represent the love entering my dull life (like a flow from the left) hence looking like it’s the overwhleming colour, and then the specks of gold to represent the lust in my life at that point of time. Black as the background to show the initial stagnant dull life I had.
I explored more techniques after doing my research (we’ll get to that later hehe) like in here, using my toes haha I never thought of that. I used this as i was inspired to make something like Sol Lewitt’s Scribbles – messy, rough, awkward lines, anxious feelings.
I did this ink mark thing on newspriont paper and realised it wasn’t drying fast so I thought putting another paper on top of it will be okay. But of course when i tried separating them the initial mark tore, causing this to happen. (seen below) It looks like it could come off as a method called Decalcomania – a blotting process whereby paint is squeezed between two surfaces to create a mirror image.
That was just another exploration I made during the process.
I wanted to tap into a feeling that impacted me the most – it would be the emotion LUST. If i were to share a story that is significant to me in my life, that feeling would pop out the most other than the negative feeling that follows. I will share about that reallll soon.
Here, the story I wanted to share as my concept. 2015 was the year alot of things i would call “life” happening, that plays with alot of my emotions. It was a significant, difficult time of my life and I wanted to dig this past, to embrace it all, including the emotions I felt at that point of time that was hard for me to accept.
During the consultation, we were told to look more into objects that revolved the most in our lifes, at any point of significant time and that we should see that in 2d form – lines, shapes, perhaps inputting Cubism to express Abstract Expressionism.
So the main 3 things that really revolved around my life at that period of time (2015), it was blood, skin, pillow.
Although blood and skin are not objects, they are still something you can touch and that to me is important enough to feel something off from it.
So for blood I will immediately think of the thickness, the flowy effect it has on skin (blood oozing out from our skin, bodies) and in water, just like how an artist named Jen Lewis’s works on menstrual blood photography.
I wanted to portray something like this into my ‘love/lust’ emotion.
I tried different brushstrokes technique but I wasn’t happy with the above. So i thought if I wanted a real flowy effect and thickness I had to include other materials for my ink to seem thick enough to create flowy lines. Hence i mixed Cetaphil soap with ink to spread it on paper, and then used toothpick to create the flowy connections between them. (seen below)
When it comes to the idea of ‘skin’ because skin is also a symbolism of body connections and thus lust or love, I wanted to create lines with my skin touching paper to spread out the lines – I focused more on body movement too to show how love makes me feel while doing my mark making.
This is seen below where i made use of 4 mahjong paper pasted altogether to created a huge piece of paper and do a sort of kinetic movement while I sit in the middle of it – inspired by Heather Hansen’s Kinetic Illustrations.
I think the outcome was really intriguing and beautiful to me in a sense that yes, this is what I would feel when I feel someone else’s touch or love, that’s my emotions spiralling in kinetic motion.
When I think of anything negative that’s going on in my life, I would immediately think of my bed, my pillow. Because that’s where I will throw myself in to hide my face away and my feelings too – i would sleep on it or scream in my pillow, or i would hide my face from the world just because i don’t want them to see me cry. Then i realised they all have 1 thing in common: cloth. Something about cloth gives a sense of comfort. Which is also why I feel a sense of bliss whenever I’m wrapped up in comfy clothes or sleeping on one comfy bed sheet.
Tissues are also another kind of object that I always needed by my side in that year itself because i was depressed and sad and just in a surge of negative emotions. So tissues was my friend.
Hence i decided to associate negative sad feelings with tissues. Because I always needed it to wipe them tears away.
Aside from tissues, I tried doing something wayyy different. Like by listening to sad songs on repeat and legit crying to make my tears fall onto the newsprint paper ( the idea of fragility on the paper too) and then putting a small dot of black ink on the tear droplet to create the effect below.
I reaaaaally really liked this idea and technique but it’s just tiring to cry all the way but i wanted to just show how authentic of a feeling there is there to portray my sadness. It’s raw. It’s me, because no lie, i’m an emotional bag who cries alot.
I did something rather dangerous and needed precaution to come out with something for ‘sadness’ too. I wanted to do the technique of fumage, where you light a fire under the paper, not so close to just create smoky marks on top of the paper. And so I tried it at like 1am. Perhaps i was too tired i don’t know but i got too close and my whole newsprint (a large one) paper easily caught fire and everything was burnt and well yes, i burnt my left hand fingers as well.
SO, BE CAREFUL GUYS. Don’t be careless like me. Don’t do it when you’re tired. 🙁
For my other emotions such as happiness, I wanted to do something different. I know usually circular shapes brings out joy as it shows the bubbly effect. But i wanted to try something different by just using lines. I was inspired by Jackson Pollock’s and Sol Lewitt’s works for this idea too.
I tried using the Cubism idea for happiness in the above by cutting square shaped plastic buttttt it didn’t turn out nice as I expected it would be. So yeah.
WELP. Too much digging into emotions for this till I AM UNABLE TO FEEL NOW haha. That’s it for now, more on my final project post!