Foreshortening Exercise [Foundation Drawing II]

Today we practiced foreshortening poses. It’s very disconcerting sigh.

We did quick 10 mins sketches. It forced me to be sure of my strokes and just roll with it. (Actually it felt quite good to be sure of myself, even if I’m wrong)

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I cheated and made the width of the chair smaller so I could fit it into the frame. I sat on the floor so I had this sort of bottom-up view.

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Memory Training Portraits [Foundation Drawing II]

I can’t remember what was the purpose(meaning: learning point) from doing the sketch of the object…

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The next exercise was to draw this portrait head placed on a pedestal. I’ve been avoiding drawing heads in my other works as I don’t know how, so this really made me tackle one of my fears.

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Later, using the same fake head, we were given 3 mins to memorize the face and draw for a while till we can’t remember anymore. Then we were allowed to look at it for 3 mins again, and the cycle continues. I was very distracted by features at first. Prof suggests that we do the outlines first, using straighter lines as curved lines may confuse us as we are not proficient “see-ers” yet. Understanding the eyeball part helped me a lot too. For this drawing, I realized I drew the nose way too long.

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Chiaroscuro Drawing With Hard And Soft Edges [Foundation Drawing II]

We had primed the paper in the previous lesson with gesso, and a mixture of gauche inks. So we use it today to draw. It’s supposed to help with making the charcoal sit better on the paper but also to be very easy to rub off. I found that it was super easy to rub off charcoal – it was easier to use my fingers than an eraser(opposite of what usually happens). But it couldn’t stick onto the paper somehow, I think I put too little gesso on the paper.

I like how the green colour acts as another mid tone. But I find it very confusing to see the green as a monochromatic tone with the black and greys of charcoal.

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At first, I found it very hard to get the hang of having soft and hard edges. I think I got it in the end as I try to demonstrate it by the left side of the drawing having a softer edge(aka more blendy with the background) and the right side has a harder edge(clean sharp dividing line).

 

Below are prof’s demonstration of the use of soft and hard edges. They can even be used to create a mood(as seen in the first picture).

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Gifting Preliminary Ideas & Research Process & Final [Foundation 3D II]

11 Jan 2017
My client is Alyssa.

The following are the things I learnt about my client and her expectations:
– Functionality 60% Aesthetics 40%
– Loves black, white and navy blue
– Likes reading e-books. Any kind of genres/books.
– Major: Product Design, was from Industrial Design in Poly
– Likes huskies
– Loves textures eg wood, but cannot stand holes
– Hates fishes, although other seafood is okay
– Nothing girly – no frilly things
– Fiercely independent


 

RESEARCH

Value of gifts

“Do you give something that the person likes or something that you feel represents the person?”

 

  1. Social norms of presents(How do you give a present?):

    – With a card
    Based on a research in Romania about gifting (Social Norms and Gift Behavior: Theory and Evidence from Romania):

– our results suggest that the overall predominant gift motive among Romanian households is a norm of reciprocity

– norms of both impure altruism and reciprocity tend to be important

– Parents may give to their children out of love and affection, or one may help a person in a bad situation out of compassion or empathy. However, this is not the whole picture. In everyday life there are many situations where gift giving is rather a result of fulfilling some social norms and customs. Imagine a wedding; no one shows up empty-handed, since it is usually a social norm to bring a gift. Also imagine a neighborhood where neighbors help each other with different tasks. Then there is a social norm to contribute, and no one wants to appear less generous than others. In such a reciprocal network, a person is more inclined to give to those who have been generous. (https://gupea.ub.gu.se/bitstream/2077/4735/6/gupea_2077_4735_6.pdf)

Based on research on women and how they gift (The Perfect Present: Gift Giving and Gender Norms):

– “to make a gift of something to someone is to make a present of some part of oneself…” – Marcel Mauss, a sociologist of gift exchange and its social meaning

– “the gift” as a piece of oneself, a sort of biography” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

– homemade presents (often “comfort foods” like jams, cookies or cakes) might be seen as expressions of intimacy that don’t need to be embellished with bright wrapping in the way mass-produced objects do
(https://www.icrw.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/The-Perfect-Present-Gift-Giving-and-Gender-Norms-pdf.pdf)

 

2. Cultural contexts affecting presents

A. Superstitions
—> Chinese culture
– Clocks:  translated as 送钟 (sòng zhōng), which sounds just like the words for being at a funeral ritual, 送终 (sòng zhōng). It also symbolizes time passing by or even running out
– Green hats: implying that the wearer’s partner is being unfaithful to them
—> Thai culture
– Perfume: giving perfume to your partner could make your love lessen like the scent of the perfume that is fade away over time
– Comb: comparing the relationship to the teeth of a comb, you don’t want to go apart like the comb’s teeth
– Brooch: a beautiful accessory but Thai believe that giving a brooch is like stabbing that person’s heart, creating pain and argument

B. Method of wrapping
—> Japanese culture
– furoshiki, a reusable wrapping cloth
– many prominent department stores in Japan will complementary gift, no matter the shape or size

C. Method of giving
—> Japanese culture
– gift is wrapped
– to give with two hands (and receive with two hands)
– be humble about the quality of your gift

D. Receiving
—> Japanese culture
– refuse gifts a couple of times before accepting it. Up to three times is the custom

 


 

Idea #1
She likes reading e-books. So I thought of doing a ebook cover. This cover would have the textured prints that hopefully she will like.

 

Idea #2
or a hardcopy cover. In a sense, I’d like to introduce to her a really lovely world of paper books. Understandably, technology can do everything faster and easier today. However, I personally feel that the joy of owning a hardcopy book and being able to smell the pages is very precious. Hence I was thinking of making a drawing book/notebook with quotes from famous books on every other page. I would bind the book myself. The exterior would have a cover with a textured print design.

 

Idea #3
Reading on long hours on the kindle(e-book) or any hardcopy book is not good for the eyes. I thought that a little plant nearby could be “refreshing to the eyes”. It would also double up as a decorative piece on the table or a new hobby. For this plant, I was thinking of something of low maintenance. This way it won’t be too much of a hassle for it to not be enjoyable and that it won’t die so easily. I was thinking of using airplants. Maybe they would come with some decorative pot.


 

Method of presenting it

I’m not sure about other people, but as a giver myself, I always insist on writing the receiver’s name on a small card, with a line (such as Happy Birthday ___ !), some times adding a message and ending with my name(maybe, maybe not).

For me it is very important to do so as it adds the element of personal touch. I feel that handwriting is a very personal thing, whereby you put your soul/emotion/thoughts into the writing. Hence it symbolizes what I truly wish for someone. I feel that even with the convenience of typing something or emailing, it loses the meaning due to convenience.

 


 

18 Jan 2017

img_7559During consultation, prof listened to our ideas. To help facilitate us, he gave us 3 words or phrases to research on. This serves to either help guide us further. The 3 keywords may be able to connect or it may not. My powerpoint slides presentation of my research is as follows.
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25 Jan 2017
Terrarium ideas and consult:
I decided to use the theme of Harry Potter since my client says she’s okay with any book and I double checked with her regarding this and she was fine.

One element that I feel is very prominent in the HP series is the Deathly Hallows symbol. It consists of the triangle – invisibility cloak, circle – resurrection stone, and the vertical line – elder wand. I felt that I should try to incorporate these into my terrarium design.

I thought that I could get/make a triangular shaped terrarium structure. This would represent the triangle in the symbol. I went to find them on carousell. I was thinking of representing the circle in the symbol by just literally putting a circle inside for my Harry Potter miniature polymer clay figurine to sit on. Not quite sure if I should leave it as a circle or mask it as some tree’s branches growing in that rough shape. The Potter mini figurine would be holding a wand, as if he’s waving it to represent the elder wand. I got inspired by the presentations that week and decided to include a “levitating” element – a small stone will have a magnet fixed underneath it and another magnet on the ground of the terrarium such that they repel each other and the stone will float. It also ties in with the magic aspect of HP series.
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During consult, Prof Peter felt that the idea was too clear. He didn’t like the blatant use of Harry Potter(in the form of a figurine), rather than having an imagery there. Prof suggested a novelty gift. He really liked the levitating idea. So perhaps something like a wand for the person to wave, then the object will move accordingly. It is meant for the user to feel powerful and wizard/witch-like when you need/like to.

I WAS LIKE OMG HELP GOD SAVE ME. How to do that!

homework: thinking of how to make it work(mechanism) and research
Some ideas I came up with:
1. Robotics shit
           okay I thought about this for verrryyyy long. I really don’t know where to start or have any idea how to do this.


2. Lazy Susan – a rotating stand or tray that is placed on the table
this would give me the movement needed. I was thinking of propping it up vertically against a made mini wall. However the movement is restricted to only a rather circular manner – so what if the user just does a up and down movement with the wand, it would be a little weird if the object continues to go in circles. Also, I don’t know how to program it to start turning and stop turning.


3. 3D Zoetrope – illusion of motion by displaying a sequence of drawings or photographs or 3D mini sculptures in this case
It’s an interesting concept for me, but I feel that it may be hard to execute. Similarly, the connect between wand user and zoetrope isn’t strong as how do you make the zoetrope stop at the same time when the wand stops waving? I would also need to get a fast/strong enough motored(?) wheel and flashing lights for the effect to take place.

4. Simple Pulley System
I was thinking of fishing wires attached to the butt end of the wand. The string will be placed in separate groves. Think of how puppets work. So by pulling in a certain direction, the object by right should move accordingly as certain strings are tugged more than others.

 


 

1 Feb 2017
I decided to go with the simple pulley system as my gift’s mechanism. I feel that I’m most comfortable with that, hopefully my common sense and primary school science knowledge doesn’t fail me!

img_7557So this is my sketch of the model I’m going to make.
As you can see, if the wand is pulled towards the right, the object will move towards the left. Likewise, if the wand is pulled towards the left, the object will move towards the right. When the wand is lifted up, the object will also move up. Hence when you move the wand in a circular clockwise manner, the object by right should move in the same way, except that there would be a small time lag.

 

Research on wand designs


I think one thing about the craze surrounding wands is the intricate features each wand has that makes it so individualistic and special. The thing that makes people go Wah so pretty leh! Furthermore, apart from the physical designs, each wand is supposedly made of a different materials such as phoenix feather, dragon scale etc.

I’m thinking about what my client says she likes as an influence on how the design is going to be like. I picked the keywords “love textures, especially wood” and “loves black, white and navy blue colours”

Wood textures

 

How I decide to present my gift

Originally, I felt like just putting it in a giant box like how we would normally gift it to people. From my experience of giving Christmas gifts, I would try to wrap it up in wrapping paper. Personally not a fan of wrapping paper as it’s very environmentally wasteful and expensive. I only do it to conform to social norms. I would try to wrap it in a rectangular manner where possible, if I couldn’t immediately do that, I would think of getting a box, put the item in and wrap that instead. However, for this present, my box would need to be huge.

Also, I had this thought that I could do something magic related. I thought of covering the gift in a black cloth like how magicians always do while their performing their trick. So what I think I’ll do is that I’ll present the gift under the cloth, say some magic word and lift up the cloth, as if it’s a mini magic show.

 

-. -. -.

 

As I was trudging through the night, I realized I was getting majorly stuck. I did went back into the 3D room but no one was in, door locked so I can’t use the acrylic cutter. … After cca at night I started on it again. I first cut finish my other plastic that I was gonna make into things as part of the overall box structure. I then found out this plastic is formidable. Nothing could make it stick together. I tried super glue, white glue, uhu glue, hot glue gun, plastic solvent. They all couldn’t work. That’s some intense plastic I found in the 3D room dump. So I basically wasted hours of planning, measuring and cutting. I tried to move on by burning holes in my acrylic sheet. I used thumbtack and blowtorch. Super smelly and smoky. (at least the smoke alarm in hall didnt go off) The process took way too long and it left black holes which defeated my purpose of using clear acrylic (or plastic) as I wanted to simulate the invisibility aspect.

 

SO I DECIDED TO CHANGE MY PROJECT AT 3AM.

I decided to continue with the levitating idea. After much thinking,  decided to do something that’s still interactive, giving the receiver an experience. I chose to make an origami rose that is red on the outside and black on the inside. I chose a rose as I did not know her before hand and I felt that she is a very soft spoken, gentle, nice girl. However, since I just met her, I don’t really know what’s she really like, hence in some senses, she’s a mystery. Therefore, the black inner colour of the rose. I pick origami as a means as I feel that there’s a very personal touch to it, as I took very long to ensure I got the folds right, and also that I’m making something from just a flat piece of nothingness. I purposely picked a design that would be closed at first and could be open later to show a blooming flower. To levitate the flower, I wanted to use stockings for the invisible threads they have. However I couldn’t find stockings at such an hour so I spent my time, picking at dental floss for the individual fibers. I attached it inside the flower. I drape the floss at the side of the box and stuck them to my fingers. For me, the presentation aspect would be very important here as I chose it to be something interactive in nature. I felt that it would be good to get Alyssa to open up the box herself. Then I would say the harry potter spell – wingardium leviosa. As I do so, the flower moves from the bottom of the box upwards and at the same time, opens into a flower.

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*Disclaimer, after opening a few times, it doesn’t quite close up into a tighter shape anymore. Hence what you see in the videos, the flower already looks quite open at the start is not true. I flattened it again before presenting it to Alyssa.

Meta World Fan-fiction Assignment – Kintsugi [Foundation 4D II]

(This fan-fiction is based on Andree’s world of lost items. Hopefully I got the gist of your story with an added moral to the story and did it justice. Enjoy~ )

 

KINTSUGI

 

I can’t believe that I’m back! But didn’t she say it was impossible? How do I tell Donna the secret and help her?

“WHAT? NO! HOW CAN YOU. I LOVED YOU. WHY ARE YOU, YOU DOING THIS TO ME?!”

I threw my phone across the bed. It hit the soft toy he gave me and fell onto the bed beside it. I scrambled across, grabbed the bear by it’s leg and hugged it to my chest. He gave me this bear on our first Valentine’s. It’s a little worn from my incessant hugging and handling. Yet, I still love it all the same. I feel connected to him as I hugged my bear, it’s as if he’s beside me and all’s fine. It isn’t. I’m just lying to myself. He’s gone. He left me for another girl. She’s…she’s… I let the tears flow. They cascade down the side of my cheeks, over my mouth and to the side of my chin. I can taste the salinity. It’s oddly comforting. I tucked my legs into a fetal position, with the bear being encased within this ball of a human, so tight it would probably suffocate if it were alive. I continued to sob uncontrollably, my torso heaving in an irregular rhythm. What will I do without him now? I love him. He’s my everything. I don’t know what to do! Everything I did, I did with him, but now what? He loves me, he said I would always be a part of him and he a part of me. I’m nothing without him, he completes me…

My head hurts. I could feel it throbbing, as if someone were knocking it with a hammer. I feel something poking into my back uncomfortably. Have I been sleeping in yet another bad posture? My body aches. Slowly, I opened my eyes. They could barely open. Ah, the tears dried up into a crusty mess. I rub my eyes, hoping that it’ll help break some of the crust off. Enough of it was brushed off, I opened my eyes slowly. I tumbled off the pile of …things. That woke me up immediately.

“God, where am I?!” I briefly inspect my surroundings and my attention went back to myself. Ouch, that fall gave me a few bruises and cuts on my body. Yet those are the least of my worries. Where am I and how did I get here in the first place?

“Where am I?” I sighed. “I really wish he were by my side now. Everything would be less scary. It’s me against the w- the unknown world now.”

I scanned the room. This doesn’t make sense. It’s just endless heaps of odds and ends. The most random things one can think of! Teacups, books about anything and everything, watches, keys, laptops and so much more. CLINK! I quickly turn my head to the direction of the sound. I’m unsure of what made the noise. There are just too many things around.

“Hello. You look new.”

I jumped up in a jerky manner. I tried to compose myself, not having remembered seeing anything alive in the room just a second before…? At times like this, I wish he were here, placing his reassuring arm around my waist, the warmth of his body letting me know that he was there through it with me-

But it will never be the same again. I should stop daydreaming. I turn towards the female voice. There stood a lady, probably around my mother’s age, with grey and white strands mixed haphazardly in her otherwise black hair. She looked very kind, yet you could see a sort of concern in her eyes, rimmed by faint wrinkles.

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to hurt you. I’m Donna. Your name is?”

“Anneliese.” I stare at the ground for a few moments, my hands squeezing the fabric of my skirt lightly. Hesitantly, I began to ease the pressure on my fingers a little bit.

“Erm, where am I? Why am I here? Or how did I get here? I think I remember being on my bed last, crying. I probably fell asleep, but how did I…” The pitch of my voice rose, my lower lip quivered. I started to break down in front of this stranger. I felt so powerless, confused and empty to even resist keeping the strong front.

“There there, child. Everything is alright.” She puts a reassuring hand on my head and strokes it lightly. It felt comforting. “The House of Missing Things, that’s where we are now. Come, I’ll show you around.” She reached out her hand, her fingers were long and slender, yet worn from the years. Surprisingly, I did not hesitate. I stretched out my hand and planted it firmly into this Donna stranger’s hand. I guess I was longing for physical touch, a kind of reassurance that I have grown accustomed to.

Donna led me forward into the different rooms in this “house”. In each room, there were just endless piles of items, things that were lost according to her. To me, they don’t mean a thing. How I ended up here, I still have no clue. As of now, it’s just trudging precariously through the items falling and piling haphazardly around us. They’re just a bunch of rubbish. Are there no cleaners in this world?

Donna motioned my attention to the large sofa in the room. “Let’s sit there a while to rest.” I absentmindedly nodded my head. I still can’t figure out how I ended up in this place. How am I in any way like these lost belongings? Besides, I’m tired from all this “exploring”. There’s nothing much to explore anyway, just heaps of lost, probably unwanted and forgotten possessions. I could do with some rest. Maybe I could ask Donna more. Maybe she knows something about all this. I followed Donna’s lead and carefully traversed across the room to the sofa.

I sat down stiffly to Donna’s left. I look down on my lap where I placed my hands. I was subconsciously wringing my hands. I guess it comforted me in a way to concentrate on something else. I have to find out more, she’s my only means of an answer to all this madness. I plucked up courage and looked up earnestly into her eyes, disrupting the silence(except for the occasional clinks of more lost items plummeting into this world) between us, “Do you…do you know how I ended up here? Please tell me if you do.”

“Well child, I can’t say with absolute certainty I know how but I can tell you what I have gathered from observations and my time here. Things from your normal world end up here when they are lost. Somehow, when you lose these things they go through some portal and end up here. They rarely get out of this realm. I’ve only seen it happen twice in my long time here. So I’m not entirely sure how the things return back to the real world or if it just gets lost in the stacks and I made a mistake. So I’m guessing you got lost in some way and magically ended up here like the rest of us.” Her eyes briefly motioned to the scattered stuff around us. “Do you have any recollection of what happened before coming here? How did you get lost?”

“I remember…” My voice trailed off, memories rushed over me. “I remember that I was at home when my boyfriend called.” Tears started flowing down my cheeks. I broke into sobs, my body heaving irregularly. I choked on my words as I explained. “He called to say that he was breaking up with me. He was in love with someone else and they were seeing each other. I GAVE HIM EVERYTHING!” My voice broke. It trembled as I continued. “He is my everything, I gave him my everything. For 3 whole years. We’ve always been close, some would even say we were attached to each other by the hip. He’s my everything. Suddenly, everything has changed just like that.” I snapped my fingers to illustrate my point. I use the back of my hands to wipe the tears from my eyes, clearing it up a little but leaving a teary mess around my eyes. “You know, it’s like the person is your everything for 3 years and suddenly they break up with you. You realize that hey, there isn’t the shared common identity you once had, that you once lived off and were living your life around.”

“I guess it was during those 3 years that I easily gave myself up to please him or the circumstances we were in. It is as if I don’t belong there anymore. I don’t feel right, directionless, empty. So I cried to myself to sleep hugging the bear he gave me on our first Valentine’s.” I did not realize but I was crying again. Tears collected at my chin and dripped down onto my skirt.

Donna attempted to placate me. “Hush darling child. Everything will be alright, okay Anneliese?” Through watery half opened eyes, I saw Donna frantically looking around. Her eyes fixed upon something as she lets out a slightly audible “Ah.” She proceeds to lean over to the right of the sofa to pick up a pack of pocket tissue and swiftly took a piece out. “I knew this would come in handy some day.” she said to me, jokingly. I knew she was trying to lighten my mood so I gave her a sheepish smile.

A curtain of awkwardness fell over us. “Erm…erm…oh ya! I forgot I was looking for something earlier. I’ll come back to you soon okays. You’ll be fine right?” I gave two small nods without giving eye contact to acknowledge her. Donna scooted off to do something – whatever it was, although I was pretty sure it was to relieve herself of the heavy, uneasy atmosphere.

I gave myself some time to regain my composure. I cleaned my tear-stained face with the tissue Donna found. I could see better now without those tears blurring my view. “Hmmm, what do I do now?” Since Donna left me, there was really nothing much to do here. Just tons of lost belongings.

With nothing much in mind, I let my eyes aimlessly wander around me. Something in the pile from across where I sat looked familiar. “Oh wait! Is that…? No way, it can’t be…”

I quickly rose to my feet, forgetting that the used tissue was on my lap as it fell to the ground. I didn’t bother picking it up, my attention was fixed onto that pink book in the pile before me. I rushed forward and in a swift motion, knelt down on both knees to see.

“Wow, it really is my old polaroid album! I thought I had lost it for good.” My heart started racing, I was excited to see my old friend again. I lifted it with both hands and dusted it even though there was barely any dust on it. I stared back at the cover. It is a picture of us taken on our second Valentines when we spent it together having a quaint little picnic. It was a simple affair, we had fun prior making different fusion sushi, baked a small chocolate cake – my favourite. We found a spot near the lake and were constantly being attacked by those hungry swans wanting our sushi rolls. He would put on a hilarious show trying to shoo away the birds. I remember both of us laughing it off, hugging our tummies and rolling on the grass. Our laughter scared the swans more than his horrible array of shoo-dance. Ah, those were the carefree lovely days. Sigh. It reminded me of him again. I could feel the tears well up in my sore eyes again. I continued slowly flipping through the book, stopping to look at each photo and reminiscing the memory it captured. Photos of us at a blood donation drive, on his birthday, when he got his driving licence… Those were the days. I miss him. As I continued to flip the pages, I realized all the photos were at events revolving around him. I also noticed that I was always happier than he was in the photo as the years progressed. Maybe that was the reason why my memories with him in the later years were more blurry and vague, I could barely remember that we went through those milestones till I saw the photos. Whereas, I could remember crystal clear the events in the first two years.

I took hold of the bottom right corner of the next page and realized the next two pages were stuck together. I peeled them apart gently. Staring back at me was a polaroid of me and my friends enjoying ourselves at a girls only sleepover. We were hugging each other in our embarrassing pyjamas, giving the widest and happiest smiles possible to the camera. They had been my best friends. Had been – because they no longer were. My friendships with them slowly broke down over time. I fragmented away from the group, drifting away from them as I placed all my attention and energy on him, neglecting them. I wasn’t worthy to be their best friend.

“I was a fool.” I muttered to myself.

“If I can get out of this weird place,” I made a mental promise to myself, “I will try to connect back with them and meet them for high tea like we used to love to do. Catch up with them. Anything really. Anything to repair those precious friendships.” I had been so blindsided by love that I lost sight of who my true friends were, who still stick with me till today, messaging me to catch up even though I’ve constantly turned them down. True friends who were there for me thick and thin, even when he wasn’t. I realized I gave up so many people I loved to accommodate him. “What else have I given up for him? Just for him to be happy?” Moisture began to well up in my eyes, and I turned my head upwards to stop the drops from forming. I blinked the tears away, pushing them back with my eyelids. As I lowered my gaze back to the album, all I saw were my empty hands. “Huh. Did I put it back down somewhere?” I looked around at the floor space surrounding me. No sign of the familiar pink album, but something else caught my eye instead.

It had a vaguely round shape, but it was hard to tell by all the lint and fluff covering it. You could tell it had been green, but having been bleached by the sun during long weekend training sessions, it was really more yellow than anything else. Overall, it looked like any other tennis ball. I remembered that I lost mine years ago, probably when I was in Secondary 2. I used to be a very active sportsgirl in school. I loved the sun and how the rays made me feel so rejuvenated. Tennis was my favourite sport as it combined both athleticism and speed. It gave me confidence as I could chart my improvements as time went by. I absentmindedly tossed the tennis ball up and down slightly a few times as I recalled the past. How I wished I had continued to pursue my passions and continued to play tennis longer… Out of the corner of my eye, a little red scribble caught my attention. I caught the tennis ball in mid air and turned it till the red part faced me.

The letters ANNE bore back at me. What a coincidence, that’s my own tennis ball with my name written on it to identify that it belonged to me. It really was mine. I stroke it with my other hand, letting myself just feel the texture of the worn out, yet still fuzzy, ball. Memories of my time with it rushed back to me. I remembered that playing tennis gave me this indescribable boost in self esteem. I realized I had stopped fully loving myself, my self esteem had deteriorated, which had made me less confident in ways apart from sports. He would tear at my self-confidence too, bringing me down made him feel powerful and in control. He would always say nasty things such as tennis was such a manly sport and that I should stop, as it was making me become bulky. He constantly reminded me that that was unattractive. Unbeknownst to me then, it subconsciously broke me, further decreased how I viewed myself favourably. Recounting all those memories triggered something inside me and I started to get emotional again. A cry escaped my lips and I found myself sobbing uncontrollably yet again, gasping for air. I took a deep breath, sucking in my mucus that blocked my nose and used the back of my hand to wipe the tears off my face.

“No. Never again. I won’t even shed tears anymore. Not for him.”

A feeling of déjà vu swept over me. “I was just holding on to the tennis ball a while ago wasn’t I? I don’t remember dropping it or anything, so where did it go?” It was no longer in my hand when I wiped my eyes. I glanced around my immediate vicinity, my brow furrowing deeper as the seconds ticked by.

I stood up. I decided that it was too much for me to handle. I walked around in a slightly tip-toed manner as there was barely any space on the floor that was not already preoccupied by lost possessions. To walk across, I sometimes had to use my foot to slightly nudge the things aside to create just enough space to not trample on everything. My foot pushed against something cold. I looked down and saw this piece that appeared to be metallic. What a dangerous thing to lose, I thought. I squatted down with the intention of picking the unsafe metal piece up to place it somewhere safer. I gingerly picked up the metal piece so as to not cut myself. Oh wait, it’s not a knife or something dangerous, it’s a metal bookmark… and it looks exactly like my bookmark that he accidentally lost – or so he claimed. I was devastated by the loss of my treasured bookmark. It symbolized things that I held dear: the philosophies I adopted, the values I believed in. It felt as if a part of me was destroyed. He was never truly sorry about it, brushing it off as if it were nothing and even claimed that I was making a mountain out of a molehill. His excuses and wrongful accusations shattered my self-esteem even further. Yet, he never tried to appreciate my hobbies or the things I loved. I, on the other hand, had been more than accommodating. I gave up any time I had that could be used to immerse myself in my books, and instead played video games with him, not that I particularly enjoyed partaking in playing those games. It was definitely not my ideal relaxation method. I just always put him before myself.

I brushed my fingers across the cool metal and admired the delicate art. It pictured a kintsugi blue china porcelain with visible gold fillings to repair the cracks on the pottery. I read the engraved zen quote softly under my breath.

Even broken things can be beautiful again.

A soft shock shot up my spine. Ah, it never ceases to capture and ease the weight off my heart, mind and soul. I clasped it in the center of my palm, feeling the cool thin metal on my skin. I closed my eyes and breathed in deeply. A sense of calmness and surprisingly – bliss swept over me. My eyes fluttered open and slowly unravelled my fingers from a clenching position. The bookmark is no longer in my palm? I don’t understand…

I sighed deeply, with equal parts frustration and release. I was so perplexed and preoccupied with what was going on, I did not realize how tired I was. My back ached from the walking and so did my legs. I delicately cleared a small roundish area on the floor. I crossed my legs one over the other and ensured that my skirt modestly covered my legs. I leaned my chin onto my arm propped up on my right knee.

I started to recount each individual occurrence – how I found each object that I once lost and in turn, a small fragment of myself. The photo album reminded me that I should treasure my friendships and that they all matter to me, regardless of how anyone tries to discount them. The tennis ball helped me remember that I used to have passions and how I used to be full of self confidence, not overconfident, but just enough to make me feel that I loved myself. The metal bookmark showed me how passionate I had been about reading that I used to read endlessly. I recalled that I had hobbies and interests that I used to pursue fervently, until he demanded I stopped, of which I complied.

My life over the past few years had not been kind to me. I gave myself up, piece by piece, to satisfy his ego and his needs. Slowly I was torn, broken and separated into different fragments.

In my mind’s eye, I saw porcelain fragments: pieces of a once-beautiful work of art. They lay shattered on the ground. Ethereal hands floated about the glittering shards, unafraid of the edges that threatened to cut. Confidently, they picked up the pieces and placed them against each other. Where the edges aligned, they melded together, leaving a golden shimmer where the cracks had once been. Piece by piece, the original work of art was being restored, only that it wasn’t the original, but it was something even more. Even broken things can be beautiful again. Not only was it beautiful again, having been broken made it better. Stronger.

In this world of the lost, I found myself. Found all the parts of me, and I think I’m beginning to feel whole again. Can that which was broken be…unbroken?

CLICK!

 

 


REFLECTIONS

Really out of my comfort zone writing this piece as I’m being very explicit and descriptive about everything. Especially my feelings and thought processes. I personally prefer to be implicit. However, I felt that it suits the character better to be more explicit, to show her raw emotions and helplessness throughout her discovery to find herself again and to understand that something may be broken but it can be beautiful again.

Also, I feel that it was quite fun to read about the meta worlds my classmates had conceived and their creative aspects/elements that they added into it. Thinking of how to incorporate my story into his world was challenging as I was afraid I didn’t capture the gist of his world. I chose Andree’s one as he had only 2 chapters posted so far when I started writing so there was lots of room for me to play around and dictate laws of my own. In addition, the metaphysics of his world is quite loose, since lost can be interpreted in many ways, hence I went for his.

 


RESEARCH

With Regards To Andree’s World



Inside Out.
For me, I find that the storyline in this animation movie does have quite some similarities in that there’s a lost element. Like how the lost memory glass balls end up in the memory dump as they are forgotten. – Which is quite like the heaps and piles of lost possessions in Andree’s world. But the difference here is that the lost memories don’t ever get out but start to disappear if they remain in the memory dump for too long.



Harry Potter World’s Undetectable Extension Spell
As seen during Fantastical Beasts and Where To Find Them Newt Scamander’s brief case contains quite an open zoo, housing many gigantic magical animals;
Or Hermione Granger’s little beaded purse that has the Undetectable Stretching Jinx that allows her to store her gazillion books, potions, camping supplies;
Or Mad-Eye Moody’s suitcase. This is a bit different from the above two examples, as it feels like there is actually a limit to the space the suitcase has. Also, it’s not a singular opening, but rather many compartments, each housing a small room. However, irregardless, the fact is that you are still able to play something from it
These examples, remind me of how Andree described that the house was seemingly endless as the white room would have this light grey doors that lead to more rooms with doors leading to even more rooms.

 

With Regards To My Fan-Fiction Set In His World

Inside Out
Using the same reference as earlier…with regards to the memory dump. In the memory dump in Riley’s mind, the memories(as those represented by the glass balls and Bing Bong) slowly fade into this blackness flying powder and disappear. However, in my story, I decided that the flying disappearing dust idea doesn’t have as much impact than it just disappearing in a snap into thin air. I feel the swift disappearance is as if it got transported by some invisible portal from one realm to the other makes more sense.


Kintsugi
The idea of embracing damage. Kintsugi has the ideals of wabi-sai philosophy interwoven in it, which means “to find beauties in broken things or old things.” I thought this was quite a poetic way to tie in my moral/educational message I wanted to get across.


Coheed and Cambria: Afterman
The band’s music revolves around a story. Basically(or very very briefly), the story is about this man going into space to find out more about this energy force field(triangle) that links the three planets. The force field is so strong that it destroys his spaceship. He manages to survive but he’s stuck in the force field. There he discovers that this energy force field was not what they had thought of before. It’s the intermediary stage of afterlife. So after you die, you end up here. Your soul is trapped here. It doesn’t matter if you did good or bad during your time on earth. As long as you can put down all hatred, regrets etc in the past life, only then can you ascend into heaven. He helped a few people let go of their past emotions and ascend into heaven. Meanwhile, his wife finds out about his “death” on the news. She’s devastated as she believes that’s the truth. After a while, she decides to pick herself up and bring her life back to a normal rhythm. She starts going out with any man. The astronaut man finally figures out how to get back to earth. When he lands on earth, everyone is shocked, they thought he was dead already. He is angry when he realizes that his wife has move on. yada yada. So fast forwarding… He was driving his wife one day, they got into a fight and they ended up in an accident. His wife dies. He knows that his wife will not put down the hatred so he decides to go back into the force field to help her. Even though he knows its extremely dangerous, he had almost died before the first time. Yet for the love of his wife, his willingness to sacrifice himself, so that his wife can let go of the past earthly life and ascend heaven.
Which is what I meant to hint the story’s first line that Anneliese(main character) figured out how to get out of the portal. She wants to free Donna from this never ending pain of being stuck in the House of Lost Things. I wanted to hint the magnanimity she possess.



Metal Bookmark
As a reference, the images above are what I’m describing about when I mentioned metal bookmarks in my story. It would contain a picture of a blue china porcelain kintsugi with the quote Even broken things can be beautiful again engraved on it.