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– Jadeite –

 

“MAKE IT STOP!”

My head hurts. I can’t stand to move or open my eyes. I just want to lay here – curled up in a ball. Information overload. The world whirls around and whirls past me. It makes me awfully dizzy, awfully nervous, awfully stressed.

It’s like this day in day out.

I pluck the courage inside me, feel my heart pound, hear it pound. It’s super loud, as if the whole world can hear my heart racing like a mother elephant protecting her young. I lift an eyelid, the world rushes in. The light, the colour. It bombards me. Yet I persist. I flutter my other eyelid open.

I held my breath. The world I live in, the place I call home is lovely. There’s no fault in it – overall anyway. Don’t be mistaken, it’s a pretty place…

I take my time. My heart slows to a gentler, constant beat. Anyway, yes back to my earlier point, I am privileged to live in a colourful and vibrant world. People express themselves through colours. It mostly manifests itself in the form of building colours.

I live in a quieter part of this nation – a choice I consciously made. It’s a bit more green and has nature. I guess you could say it helps to calm me down, lesser sensory overload. The colours are not competing and shouting at you, trying to draw your attention to it. It doesn’t do that to me all the time though, just sometimes, yet I never understood the circumstances in which I get overwhelmed, paralyzed and want to shut out the world.

In a world so chaotic, I find refuge in the sounds of water trickling, rushing and splashing. I’m thankful for the poetic properties the waterways, despite being rowdy at times, and the greenery provides. Sometimes, I run my fingers through the water, touching it, it reassures me. To me, it is a safe zone, a sense of comfort, away from the imposing bright buildings.