Experimental Interaction – Project 1 – The Journey

Entry 1

 

As I glance upon the heavens, what greets me is an empty void.

There are no skies. No land. No life. Nothing, but the ominous gleam of the peculiar red liquid in which my weary feet soak in.

The darkness of the abyss that I find myself in appears to be free from the grasp of time and space; the deafening silence of the area leaving me at unease.

Perhaps I was a fool, to have thrown aside the lurch I felt in my guts as walked through the forest. It had called out to me, the shadows between the trees, and my interests had been piqued.

Though a fool I may be, could I choose again, going against my compelling desire to discover was not an option.

The saying goes “curiosity killed the cat”, and in this predicament, I pray that I be not the cat.

 

——

 

Heart filled with hope, the careful steps taken through the shallow waters in search for a different scene had left me greatly unrewarded. Lamenting my fate, I had continued to trudge forward, tired arms by side; worn out from attempts of reaching a possible end (a foolish dream it had been, I suppose).

Yet, the view seemed to have claimed permanence, the never-ending darkness chipping away at my dreams of a change.

Where I stand now, most certainly not of surprise, is amongst the liquid at my feet, the darkness enveloping me, almost appearing to welcome me into its embrace.

 

——

 

A silver lining appears to have fallen into my grasp. “Silver lining” I may say, yet I am filled with uncertainty of its nature; the possibility of danger ever-present, threatening to plunge me back to the void, or worse.

In this abyss of darkness and silence, a sudden glimmer of light had filled me with expectations. My weary self, abruptly fueled with a new founded motivation, moved towards the light at the end of the tunnel, worn-out legs picking up speed. A risky act, one may say, and I do concede. Yet, the hopefully pleasant surprise had caused me to lose my bearings.

I had been most certainly unaware of what I had expected, but the sight before me, had without a doubt been a most peculiar yet breathtaking one.

A single carp, spanning about two metres long, hovered over me. Constructed with the crimson flames which flickered as it moved, it glided elegantly through the air, circling me. Its body a beautiful blazing red arched with ease, the flames from its being dancing around it. Ever so slightly, the orange-red occasionally parts, to reveal a hollow form.

As it bestows me with its presence, I find myself at a lost, merely basking in the sight of it. As it encircles me, the weariness of my limbs return, rendering me unable to move.

And such is where I find myself, its very being casting warmth upon my cold body, a light through the darkness, and I ponder upon where this would lead me.

7 comments

  1. As the flames slowly engulfed my body, I was temporarily blinded by the sheer brightness of it. By the time my eyes recovered, I find myself in absolute darkness; with only a cone of light illuminating me from above. Fear filled me as to what might lie beyond this darkness. I stood still in the darkness, hoping my eyes would adjust to the surroundings but as soon as I realized it wasn’t going to happen, my fear of the unsettling silence and stillness of the air amplified; but I knew I had to move on.

    The sound of my footstep echoed throughout the deep stillness as I took a hesitant step forward. The fact that the light from above is keeping up with me as I advanced forward was eerie yet strangely comforting at the same time. I lost track of how long I was walking through darkness when I see a faint spot of light in the distance. I stopped dead in my tracks when I realized there was a figure standing in the light.

    When I made sure the figure was not moving in any sort of way, I began advancing towards it, slowly. As I got closer, I gradually realized it was an old man that was walking towards me crouched over. Soon I was face to face with him and we both stood there staring at each other. Tiny wrinkles filled his face, especially the end of his eyes. Cheeks sagging ever so lightly over the ends of his lips. That is when I realized the mole sitting right on the rim of his top lip, exactly like the one I have. As I lifted my hand towards him, he lifted his too. Right before the tip of our hands touched, I took a deep breath for what is to come. My eyes widen as I came in contact with a cold hard surface.

      1. Within the spilt-second, my hands trembled as I began to have multiple flashback racing through my mind. These flashbacks acted like little children fighting for a lollipop, pushing and endless screams at the top of their lungs. My head pounds.

         

        Slowly, bloodshot eyes stared directly into the mirror, only to find the same pair of eyes looking back at me. The same pair of eyes, the same shade of a childlike hazel brown, the only difference was how broken it was. What happened to the once loquacious eyes that spoke through into the endless nights.

         

        Right as I noticed, I felt a staggering cold running down the back of my neck. Momentarily, I froze on the spot as I witness a movement from the mirror. I stopped breathing altogether. My sweat trickled down, rolling along the side of my non-existent jawline before dripping down. 

        “drip…drip…..drip….drop” 

        “drip…drip…..drip….drop” 

         

        The pair of eyes waver along the borders of a metallic concave spherical of a nineteenth-century mirror. This texture reminds of me of my grandma’s mirror back in her home town, she had it hung up proudly in the living room across the main corridor.

         

        Unintentionally, my eyes found it’s way into the center of the reflective surface. A penetrating lit and lustrous crimson light rays emerged from the mirror, I could feel my soul bring sucked out, pulling me in………..

        1. Crossing the border from the darkness into yet another unknown land, the alluring rays of the mirror, so akin to that of the flaming carp, had caused me to plunge into abrupt blindness. Through the borders of the mirror, I had been thrusted from an abyss to an oasis, and I could only hope it be not a mirage.

          My vision had thankfully returned, bestowing my panicked self with the comfort of sight. My eyes perhaps have deceived me, but where my feet lay was the unmistakable wood flooring of my residence – the one I had abandoned, the one that had abandoned me. Evidence of my presence in the small flat had long been replaced with another. All that was left behind was a scratch on floor, where the deep blue mug I once cherished had bloomed into glistening shards, reflecting the afternoon sun that day.

          Nostalgia, it must be. For what else could warrant these feelings of emptiness, a hollow, deep into my very soul.

          ——

          The setting sun, a beautiful orange had casted warm shadows inside, through the sheer white curtains that had once been the colour of the sea. The familiar scent of pine wood now covered with the magic of flowers.

          How far does an abyss go, how deep does it reach? Perhaps the depth of the emptiness in my chest, I wonder.

          The sound of keys had signalled my return to the odd world I had been in. The flames of the carp swallowing me, how comforting, how peculiar, that the fire that mankind so feared had been the only solace in my demise. And I had closed my eyes, allowing myself to be taken away from the hurt my once safe haven had given me.

          ——

          Landing softly on the same peculiar red liquid from before, I found my aquatic friend had not left my side, instead opting to hover over my right shoulder. It glided elegantly, matching my weary footsteps, as I dragged my feet through the waters. It had been rather odd, for the water had risen to my knees, and I fear this would do me no good.

          ——

          It had been most unusual indeed. The once empty abyss had now been filled with mirrors akin to the one before. Through each mirror, memories lost through time danced across the frames.

          The metallic frames waltzed across the dark of the abyss, the light from the scenes it portrayed flickering across the waters, shame and sorrow leaving them with no audience.

          The flashing lights consume me, and one could only question the reason I stand in this land of memories, and the journey walked upon to this destination.

          ——

          Through the heavy water, tired limbs threaten to lose control, and as I had gone crashing into the dark liquid, a golden frame granted me presence. The frosted glass of the mirror played a memory so dear yet so cruel.

          Beyond the glass, two figures illuminated in a white room where the sun so seldom reached. A young chap, and the woman who had always loved him from the beginning of time, who had loved him for who he had been. She had given him life, and the boy had loved her like she was the sun.

          Alas, God was a fool, a fool for cursing a soul as pure as hers. And resentment would forever be a part of the boy’s world. The world had been cruel, and she had left for the garden of flowers.

          Along with the sheets as pale as the colour of her skin, the pink carnation had withered away.

          The battle against temptation had been most challenging, yet it was so easily won at the sigh of my hands; stained with the colours of the soil, chaffed with the anger of ropes. Fear gripped my soul. Fear of ruining the utopia through the mirror with the darkness of who I had become.

          As my pen scratch across the roughness of the yellow pages, I realise it must have somehow begun to rain in the abyss where I lay, for otherwise, there would have been no reason for the wetness of my cheeks, and the gloominess of my heart. The warmth from the flames of the carp a contrast to the cold of my bones.

  2. With my head hung low, I slumped down, pressing my body weight towards the corridor. I entered an immaculate room, the complete opposite of the previous one. Sun rays illuminated it, radiating warmth over my frigid body. On the demi-crystalized and pinkishly coloured dress table rested my prized possession, a beloved portrait. In my palms I held the portrait, clenching onto each tiny bits and pieces of comfort I could ever find—

     

    Scribbling down words that came into mind, my pen worked extra hard trying to keep up the pace. As my thoughts fluctuated, my heart shifted from disconsolation to desolation.

     

    Right at the corner of the table stood an unlit reddish candle. With a soft sigh, I fished out my lighter and pushed down the ignition handle. I gazed at the flame, in awe of the grandiose light and soothing warmth it produced. “This is it”, I thought as I offered the candle a touch of the flame.

     

    Everything turned bright instantly. The heavenly aroma emitted from the burning candle wax danced around my noses, lifting up my damp soul. The blinding light all around morphed into the hopes I once had for us and the futures she was in, and it made me smile. Everything was dazzling and wild, it made me feel free, and it made me feel at peace for once.

     

    As I gazed upon the sparks bouncing across the room, a picture of a glimmering sea materialized into view. The crackling from all around slowly transformed into her playful laughter as she danced around sands of the beach. I could hear the distant waves crashing onto the shore, bringing in delicate pieces of seashells which comfortably dug into the sand.

     

    There was a subtly growing itch on the surface of my skin, but I could not focus on anything else other than her. The sunlight started growing brighter than ever, and I squinted to keep her in sight. Excitedly she turned and gestured me to join her. Fearing everything will soon disappear, I ran after her and reached out my hand desperately.

     

    A few moments later, my hand started to grow weak, then all my limbs grew lifeless and I fell. I could not move an inch. I struggled to look up, to admire her undying beauty for the last time; to remember who she was before everything was gone.

     

    In a flash, the light started engulfing everything, and everything was slowly turning white.

     

    And suddenly, there was nothing.

  3. When I opened my eyes, I was in a sterile-looking room, looking down at a crowd of people. I couldn’t see their faces but sounds of their sobbing could be heard clearly. And I wondered, what could possibly be the cause their sorrow and distress. No one seemed to realise my presence as I slowly approached them. I became aware of the constant beeping I was hearing at the back of the head as it gradually became louder.

    Oh, a hospital ward. That’s where I am. The group was surrounding a bed and someone was on it. Equipments and gadgets surrounded the bed, with web of wires connecting them to the motionless figure on the bed. As I got closer, I realised a woman sitting on the edge of the bed sobbing uncontrollably. And suddenly it all made sense, it wasn’t rain, they were tears, her tears. And it was my body that was lying on the bed, lifeless yet peaceful at the same time. 

    It would be weird to say that I didn’t feel even a little bit of shock when I saw my own wrinkle filled face on that bed, but I didn’t. I guess I sort of knew it all along at the back of my head. Taking one last look at the familiar faces that filled the room, I decided it was time to go and turned around to walk out of the room. A constant long beep sounded from the equipment after I exited, and the room was soon filled with waves of loud wailing. Instead of reluctance, I felt a huge sense of liberation and hope. After all these time, could I finally see her again? 

  4. Walking through the door of the hospital had brought me to a land a strong contrast to the abyss. Where it had been dark and empty, an oasis danced across my very eyes, bright light shining upon the waters by my feet. The sky reflected upon the surface of the water; now a shimmering blue. Beneath the shallow waters, soft sand kisses the soles of my feet. Wiggling my worn out feet into the yellow grains, a warmth had surged through me as I walked through the azure blue.

    Ah, how different it had been; the clear waters consoling the ache in my feet, a counter to the cold red that threaten my bones. The warm rays of the skies kisses my skin, and I had let myself bask under the warm rays of the sun. It was her. Her warmth, her smile. It was the beach; where we had been happy, where I had been happy. It was my memory, one that had never left me, but was hidden so deep I had failed to recall.

    A figure, donned in a white dress which danced in the wind, had called out to me. She had beckoned me to follow, her lips forming a soft smile. Exhaustion be damned, and I had went after the remnants of my memory. But what we wished for had so very often slipped through our fingers, and the soft cotton that fluttered through the winds had left me behind. In her place, had been a door the colour of snow, left slightly ajar.

    As I stared at the white rays that had spilled from the gaps of the entrance, it had been most certain that beyond the white wooden frame had been what I had wanted, what I had been wishing for.

    ——
    The spine of my back aches as I lay hunched against the door. As the waters seep into my clothes, the warmth enveloping me,I had come to a decision that the final entry of my journal, a conclusion to the life I have lived would be most befitting as an end.

    Dragging inked pen in my pale fingers across the rough surface of this very journal, I question the reason I continue to write the events that have occurred. The ink that leaks onto the white of the paper would no doubt leave no mark on the world that I had left. In the bright space so different from the cold darkness of the unknown abyss, the red of the flaming carp remains a stark contrast, and as it moves across the surface with undeniable grace, I find myself wondering if its warm fire would once again swallow me; these papers holding my memories burning into oblivion.

    A habit of sorts, I debate, one slowly cultivated while the sand of an hourglass had trickled through. The scraps of paper had been my companion; a friend I shared the tales of my lone journeys with. Lost, were the guides I had, the wind taking them away one by one, no different from petals of a flower. Alas, the lone petal remained, and how he had longed to flow away with the breeze.

    Yet, the cries accompanied by the sharp monotonous beep from the machine had caused an epiphany. The lone petal, so absorbed by the loss of those by its side, had failed to recognise it had belonged to a garden, where countless flowers grew. It had been far too late, and the lone petal had to soar through the skies to realise the numerous other petals that had surrounded him.

    ———
    For far too long, I had wished to see her once more, and hope had filled the empty crevices of my wounded heart as the events of my final journey had unfolded. As my aquatic friend hovers over me like a guardian casting its protection, a silver handle, gleaming in the light is positioned right over where I sit – a sparkle against the white of the smooth door. Reaching for it would no doubt bring me to her, and it would be an end to the chase that had started with her demise.

    I had remained lost since she had become one with the skies, and my world had stopped in a standstill; left behind in the cruel land of the living, dreaming of an escape. One could only hope, those who lamented my death would leave me behind instead of following my footsteps that had caused me immeasurable grief. Just as the room I had abandoned, may the new take over, and the traces of my time be washed away with the seas. As the warmth of the carp seeps into my very bones, I wish it be that the entries I have written be embraced by its flaming body; let it be free from the grasp of the world.

    “The world goes on,” they said, and it had been true. Alas, time had stopped for me when the gods had taken her away. The step into the abyss had miraculously made the hands on the broken clock move once more, the sand built up at the waist of the hourglass rushing through, catching up on the time it had lost, far too late, far too long.

    My life had began with her. She had breathed life into me, and she alone guided me – the others long returned to the soil of the earth which I had so strongly believed had done me no good. Yet, fate had been cruel, and the skies had taken her away, and a part of me had went along, the happiness and joy seeping out to be replaced by the dark and dull of my sorrow. She had been the only one I knew, and was the only one I had continued to see, my vision far too narrow to see the world that had been created around me. She was my sun, and I had lost her.

    But fate though so often cruel, had always given a silver lining in every situation. My time had ran up indeed, but she would be there, and I would see her once more.

    “The world goes on”, they said, and I concede. But she had been my everything.

     
    My world had began with her, and no doubt, as I walk through the white door in this sea of blue, my world would end with her.

Leave a Reply