“I will show you fear in a handful of dust.” – T.S. Eliot

 

Some days, I am engulfed by an all encompassing sense of despair and helplessness. An existential crisis so to speak. The world whizzes past and I am oblivious to its happenings and trappings. What does it mean to exist. What is our purpose. Our lives are limited, there is no refuting that. We are, crudely put, all biological ticking time bombs with an expiry date. Eventually we all detonate in spectacular fashion, leaving behind our legacy, or lack thereof, in our wake. What does the ‘dust’ in the quote mean? Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Are you afraid of becoming nothing again? We all came from nothing, we all will eventually go back to being nothing, the ashes or dust merely a remnant of the physical vessel with which we once experienced the world through. The ashes blow into the wind, carried to faraway lands. Landing inconspicuously on the bare ground. Becoming part of the ebb and flow of nature once more. There was once no you, you once had no identity. Just atoms floating in the cosmos. You laugh, you cry, you feel, you hurt, you think, you comprehend, you understand. You feel the rain on your face, your insides rumble when you require sustenance, you wince at the sting when you scrape your knee. But remember, the very marrow in your bones came from stardust. One day, you too, will cease to exist. you will stop being able to experience what it is to be.

I tend to ponder a lot. So many unanswered questions. So many frustrations. How do we navigate through the treacherous jungle that is life?

Some days I just feel like I’d rather kill myself than hang out. (Disclaimer!!!)

 

I see the world through my myopic eyes, frustrated at myself and at my failures. ( I was having what you would call ‘artists’ block, kinda like writer’s block)

 

On late nights, milo is what keeps me going. Ink and milo combo, what a mess I’ve made >.<

 

Some days, I just want to fly. Free as a bird. Cliche as it may sound, the concept is so simple and pure that it cannot be perceived in any other way. A great escape. A reprieve from reality.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thanks for reading 😛