My line is emo

It is about foreigners and locals, about seeking for a sense of belonging , about understanding one another. In general, a progression from loneliness to the sense of belonging.

About the work: The work is a timeline. Each line represent an emotion I experienced during my stay in Singapore as a foreigner, almost like a diary As time progress, my attitudes and emotions changes, from a foreigner who feel alienated and detached from the island, I went through several stage of external and internal struggle, and learnt to fit in and embrace my new identity as a mixture of culture from both Singapore, China and my own roots, Taiwan. And finally, finding contentment with my current state at the end of the timeline.

In this work,

1)I hope to show the emotions experienced by foreigners but sometimes neglected by the locals. I wish to deliver those emotions in a ways that can be easily understood or felt by any audience by focusing on the process of the mark making.

2) I want to remind the audience that unwelcoming is never one-directional. While being in a foreign land is difficult, it is important for us the foreigners to try to fit in, and learn to embrace our new identity. By switching our attitudes, we can switch our situation around. This is conveyed by making drastically different marks using the same material (glue and oil)

3)No man is an island, living in the same society we should all learn to live with one another, understand one another, and embrace one another. By laying out my own experience , I hope to show that it takes time to fit in but it is not impossible.

The warping of paper after all the mark making process is a physical metaphor of the impact of emotions on an individual. As time progress, the extend of warping increase. But at the end, among all the crumpled texture, one still finds his/her peace.

The timeline goes from white to white, because I am still myself, still holding on to taiwanese passport. But the emotion is no longer the same after the ten years.

(Joy said the whole piece “looks like a poem from far”, and I am REALLY REALLY flattered by that comment)

Each emotion in detail:

Overwhelmed (By the new culture, new environment, and the all year round sunshine),using over exposed polaroid film
Hopeful*(for new life in Singapore),using insense
Alienation, using oil and ink
Detachment,using wax and ink
Uneasiness (Of living alone in foreign place), using instant noodle and ink
Homesickness ,using cling wrap and ink
Bitter (About the hurtful thing I hear between locals and foreigners), cur made by penknife
Familiarity (Getting used to Singapore, becoming more and more local), abstract ink rendering of HDB flat
Conflicted , using black trashbag and super glue
Loss (Loss of original identity) ,tracing paper glued onto paper
Guilt (for losing the culture of my roots ), ink and scotch tape
Confused (Who am I? Where is my home? Unable to reach conclusion) ,tissue paper and ink
Exulansis (the tendency to give up trying to talk about an experience because people are unable to relate to it), paper sanded down using Sand paper
Lost (no place to call “home”), using clay and ink
Obedience (unwillingly having to fit into the locals ), using liquid glue and ink
Calm (Embracing the new identity, fitting into the society), using liquid glue and ink
Sense of belonging using oil and ink
Contentment pressed paper

And I am just grateful that I am able to find my place in Singapore. I don’t know why but a sense of belonging just makes so much difference.

It is a late submission sobs, but I had fun doing this.

笔墨等于零

“Brush and ink are only servants of thoughts and emotion. They should follow your emotion and change with the emotion.” – Wu GuanZhong

This post is about the concept and ideas behind my work for 2D project, My line is emo.

I began with my all-time-struggle, being away from home.

1.Diaspora

The dispersion or spread of any people from their original homeland.
people who have spread or been dispersed from their homeland.

Being away from one’s homeland can result in various emotions. Firstly, having a new culture and lifestyle can be overwhelming, and the warmth and joy found at home turns into longliness and longing. Secondly, fitting into a foreign culture is never easy, through out the process one would likely experience uneasiness, alienation and detachment. Besides that, the prejudice between the locals and foreigners sometimes result in bitterness and tension.

For uneasiness , I tried to make marks using cooked instant noodles. Which appears quite often in my first few month alone in Singapore. The material captures the uneasiness of living alone in a country, not knowing where to get food or how to order food in english.

For alienation/detachment, I took Huimin’s suggestion and looked into materials that does not mix together.

Firstly, I tried waxing the paper:

In the picture above, the waxing is not thorough enough , I wasn’t satisfied with the result and tried a few more with different thickness of the wax layer and different application of ink, until i obtained the result below:

The patterns formed by the ink is almost painting a broken surface, the thin jagged lines is a good representation of the struggles the foreigners face to connect with the people.

Another material I tried was oil. The following are the several experimental pieces I’ve done.

The satisfied result is the one below, which is obtained by applying ink onto paper, and quickly dripping ink onto the surface. Then, roll the ink around the surface by tilting the paper. The idea of ink being unable to penetrate the paper represent the idea of not being able to fit into the foreign society. The drop of ink traveling on the paper represent an individual, traveling alone, suggesting the sense of solitude.

I also decided to include some methods from the previous post.

The mark made using cling wrap can be used to represent homesickness. Me eating alone always result in having left overs. The cling wrap reminds me of the meals I had when my family is not around, hence suggest the loneliness as well as homesickness.

The cut across the paper surface will be used to suggest bitterness, the subtle appearance and the suggested violence can be used to suggest the bitterness I feel when I hear nasty and prejudiced comment between the locals and the foreigners.

2.home away from home

(idiomatic) A place in which one is as comfortable as one’s actual home.

After being here in Singapore for quite some time, fitting in is no longer a problem. However, identity crisis surfaces as I started to behave more and more like a local. My memory of my hometown fades as I grow more and more familiar with the land that is supposedly foreign to me. I found myself “betraying” my roots and felt a sense of guilt, which lead to my refusal to accept my new identity. This denial then turns into emotional struggle and conflict.

I mixed paper clay with ink to dye it black, and applied a thick layer of the mixture on to paper. When it dries, the clay dries , and some parts fell off. Taking clay as a representation of earth, this piece suggest the feeling of losing connection to one’s roots, and thus the identity that comes with it. The broken surface also suggest the emotional impact that comes with the loss.

While thinking about the conflict, the first thing that came to mind is trash bag.The texture is able to show the act of stretching clearly, and evoke the sense of internal struggles. Trash bag also carries meanings on its own. It suggests the state of not being wanted by both places. I can neither be a 100% local of Singapore, nor go back to being a true Taiwanese.

Other materials are tracing paper, which suggests distance and fading memories.

During individual consultation with Joy she introduce me to the Ted Talk below.

As someone who is away from home, I find the following quote from the talk very relatable.

“Perhaps my biggest problem with coming from countries is the myth of going back to them.I’m often asked if I plan to “go back” to Ghana. I go to Accra every year, but I can’t “go back” to Ghana…. We can never go back to a place and find it exactly where we left it. Something, somewhere will always have changed,most of all, ourselves. People.”

The speaker also highlighted that we tend to assume someone’s identity based on where they came from, when the identity is in fact build with experiences from all the different places that and individual had live in. Hence, one need not to be confined by the culture of his/her hometown.

Which remind me of the Two Fridas by Frida Kahlo, in which the artist confront the duality of her identity, and accept the fact that the different cultures co-exist within her, while admitting the importance of each of them.

which lead me to the thought:Perhaps the attitude of local is not the only thing that separates the foreigners from fitting in.

Sometimes, the foreigners refuse to accept their own identity as outsider, resulting in unhappy interactions with the locals. Other times, the foreigners refuse to even try to fit in with the local, because they refuse to accept the new culture.

With those thoughts in mind, I went on and look through a few artists who dealt with diaspora and related issues. The following artists caught my attention.

Brailliterate (文盲文) by Xu Bing, 1993

(click image to get more info)

In this work, the artist play with different form of languages to evoke the issue of misinterpretation and misunderstanding due to the difference in culture.

I find the work relatable. Being friends of both the local and the foreigners, I sometimes witness the misinterpretation or prejudice caused by difference in culture and language here in Singapore. This prompted me to shift my thoughts towards the interactions between the locals and foreigners.

Maybe some of the conflict and tension between can be resolved, as long as one switch their perspective around or change their attitude. Such idea can be suggested by making different marks using the same material, by changing the application method.

During my experimentation, I realised that thinner paper tends to warp, even though the warping shows poor craftsmanship, but I think it can be a metaphor of the influence and impact of emotions on an individual.

Another artist that inspired me (more in terms of style and visual) is Wu Guan Zhong.

The simplicity and his use of negative space inspired me to reconsider the format and overall presentation of my work.

Paint with anything but a brush

Being more of a hands-on person, my approach towards the project is to get my hands dirty before trying to generate an idea/concept. (Hence the lack of consideration in the tools/ process used :p)

Starting with the basic, I created spontaneous strokes using slightly unconventional tool / medium found at home.

Left to right:

Chinese ink, applied on wet cartridge paper using the rough side of scrub sponge.
Chinese ink mixed with snake powder, applied on cartridge paper using a bundle of satay sticks.
Chinese ink, applied on cartridge paper by tissue paper ball.
Chinese ink, applied on cartridge paper by feathers.

Needless to say, the length, thickness and density of the strokes all affects the emotions conveyed. The short strokes creates flustered cluster while the bigger strokes appears more bold aggressive or confident.

The bleeding of the ink softens the marks, rendering it slightly sentimental. On the other hand it reduces the intensity of the black and might weaken the emotion.

An interesting finding during this was the mixture of ink and snake powder. The paste-like consistency allows bleeding of ink while still keeping the shape and saturation of the original stroke. The thickness of it also allows subtle texture within the stroke.

Next, I went on to print making. I repeated the objects using different method, in an attempt to create different marks using the same tool.

Top to bottom:

Created by rolling a tissue paper ball, soaked in chinese ink, across cartridge paper.
Apply ink onto tissue paper, allow it to try slightly and press it against cartridge paper.
Same as above, but spay water onto the tissue after pressing it against the paper, and lift it up promptly.
Reverse print of a piece of tissue, using block printing ink.

The density and the details of the texture strangely reminds me of human skin (esp the second). To me that association brings to mind anxiety and the state of being over-sensitive.

Next, Tracing paper.

Top to bottom:

Apply chinese ink onto the folded tracing paper, then press it against the paper.
same as above, with different amount of ink.
Reverse print of the folded tracing paper, with block printing ink.

Tracing paper is harder than tissue, it creates more regular shapes and more structured folds. The white spaces increased and appears more distinct. The surface warps upon contact with water and adds details to the texture.

Next, Cling wrap.

The marks made by the cling wrap has sharper angles and edges, reminding me of glass shards, as well as many think lines, giving it a sense of fragility.

By putting the cling wrap on a wet paper, the small droplets of ink create a smooth flow across the paper. It appears soft but at the same time I find it slightly trippy or disturbing due to the high density of the small marks.

I also tried spreading block printing ink on the table, etching marks in it using different tools before I obtained the marks from the table using paper.

top to bottom, marks made by:

Brush
Tissue paper
uncooked instant noodle

This method allows a very drastic contrast between the black and white which would suit a strong and aggressive emotion. The first image has a curvy stroke which appears less intimidating, but the amount of black can be heavy and overwhelming. The last image paints a vivid image of recklessness.

After some experimentation, I noticed how a marks created by the same tool can turn out differently as ‘hard’ or ‘soft’, depending on the process used to produce the mark.

I find the comparison parallel to that of explicit emotion and subtle emotion, as well as aggressive emotion and passive emotion.

It would be interesting if I can convey an emotion that is hidden beneath the surface, that is subtle and passive.

Passive aggressive. The slit on the paper brings to mind sharp edges, injury or cuts , yet the mark is so thin and so unnoticeable.

Using texture on black surface is another way of showing a subtle emotion, one would only notice the marks upon closer inspection.

Lastly, this series of print below is to show the progression of an emotion. When we refuse to let go or resolve certain emotion (say, tenseness of hatred), the emotion might grow stronger, until it thickens and becomes too overwhelming to bear.

The prints are produced by mixture of chinese ink and snake powder on plastic sheet, pressed against paper. The snake powder mixture allows the ink to have a mould-like texture, which I find fitting for the idea of over-grown emotion.

Even though this is merely technical experimentation, it allows me to practice expression using basic visual elements. I experimented without any planning, which gave room for happy accidents. I was able to pick up unexpected results and inspiration along the process.

The cleaning up tho D: