Synopsis for DESIRE
Genre – Crime | Mystery
Based on legend/Folktale – The Pied Piper
(However, retold in the perspective of pied piper)
Being an orphan, passion fueled psychological student Paul struggles to make a living for himself. In order not to give up on his education on psychology and mind studies, Paul begins to make use of the hypnosis ability he picked up in college to pay for his education (Misuses it). Soon, he was blinded by his lust for money which eventually takes control of his life.
“Time for your session, Mich.”
Paul, (a mysterious, irascible, avenging guy in his mid twenties) begins to discuss a hypnotism session he has performed on his friend’s sister, Mich, in attempt to help her remember things that happened the night, when Mich’s husband was murdered in order to recollect the events that took place that day as well as the face of the murderer. However, Mich cannot recall the face of the killer which leaves her in tears after the session with Paul.
“Paul, please help me! Mich sobbed in tears.
“Mich, you are too tired to carry on, let’s call it a day for now. Alright, I will help you.”
Mich (a widower in her twenties) left Paul’s room depressingly after the session. Nothing seems to work after all this hours invest in these hypnosis sessions. The following night, Paul heard a knock on his door. A mysterious man in trench coat, whom does not want to be named enters and stand before him.
“Mr. Paul Piper?”
“I want you to mess up Mich Courtney’s life! You will get more from me once she’s dead.”
The mysterious man places a lump of bank notes on Paul’s table and left hastily. Paul grabs the bank notes in his hands and shoves it into his pocket. He is relieved as he does not have to worry about his school fees this semester anymore.
The following Morning, Mich came by Paul’s house for treatment as routine. Just then, Paul’s phone rings and it was a call from the school admin office, claiming that he still owes the school money from last semester. The phone call left Paul in a state of dilemma.
Aware of Mich’s financial background and current state, Paul is aware that he will not be benefiting from this treatment, hence he urges Mich to drop the intention of regaining her memory of that night however, Mich insisted to carry on with the study. Paul was reminded of the orders from the mysterious man and decides to mess things up for Mich during the hypnosis session. He successfully brainwashes Mich to make her believes that she was the murder of her husband which causes Mich to lost control and jumps into a depression. Mich eventually killed herself.
After Mich’s death, Paul continues living but he felt something eating him up from inside. Waves of guilt passes over him, sometimes he would see Mich in his dreams calling out for him. He is confused and lost yet he awaits the mysterious man to come by.
“I see you have completed your task, Mr. Paul Piper. However, I could give you no more.” Said the mysterious man as he let out a evil laughter. The mysterious man claims that Mich killed herself without Paul’s effort. Filled with anger due to the betrayal of trust and hope he places on the mysterious man, Paul killed the man in fit of rage while for the rest of his life, Paul himself suffers from a emotional disorder due to guilt and loss…
Moral of story – “Keep your promise.” The folktale, The pied piper showcases the importance of ‘keeping promise’. (The consequence of breaking a promise is also illustrated in the Pied Piper’s response to the townsfolk refusing to pay the agreed fee for freeing the town of its rat plague. He charms the children away in the same way that he charms the rats away from the town. This is both an ironic and serious consequence.)
Retold in Pied pipers perspective it showcases a different scenario. In this POV, it addresses on the possible twists that could happen in event of corruption and bribes as well as the temptation and lust for money. There’s a heavy price to pay for every crime committed. – ” Having a clear conscience is much more valuable.”
Great poster design! I can relate between the pied pipers story and how it change of telling from another perspective. A good visual impact from the poster!
Interesting poster and story! I feel maybe your story would be more interesting if you revealed more about the mystery man as well as how he is related/linked to the women. Possibly to the main character as well?
I was already grabbed instantly when I read the start of your story, the starting sets the thrilling tone really well! It carries the element of mystery and entices the viewers to want to know more. I liked how you delved into the emotions of Paul, and emphasized him as this tragic protagonist that is tortured mentally for his doings.
However, I also do feel that there is not much closure on the mystery man, regarding his identity, how he knows Paul and his motives etc. The ending could be stretched out more for us (possibly like 2nd plot point in climax) to develop more on the mystery man. Otherwise, great job on the crime genre!
Hi Fiona!
I love how simple yet thought provoking your story was created to be. I’m a little confused about Paul’s willingness to go on and follow the intruction the mysterious man had indicated though, if he was just handed a bank note how was he so sure that the bank note wouldn’t bounce like what have happened here? If someone wanted me to do something that would have challenged my moral, I would definitely demand at least half of the cash that was promised at least, doing without any assurance is a little silly!
Great poster design too! Great job! 😀
A very unique way in portraying a somewhat illusional feel to your poster. Very nicely done Fiona, but just wondering how the mystery man knows Paul. Hmmmm…
The suspense is excellent, Fiona! but somehow, the ending is not as impactful as the introduction and the middle part of the story. probably, you should extend your story more about what happen to Paul afterwards? Maybe kill himself also? feeling only guilty is not dramatic enough since the earlier parts are really dramatic and i do like it :). And is it intentional that you leave the mysterious man unknown till the end of the story? I’m curious who is he ._.
I really liked your poster – it literally drew me in (due to the spiralling image!)
Plot wise, I felt that the settings/premise of the story was extremely interesting – I have always been a fan of psychological thrillers myself and your story set the tone for it right away; I could see the scenes literally playing through inside my mind!
I liked the ending of the story as well, it is pivotal to remind audience of the few lessons that the protagonist learnt through the journey, but I personally felt that the resolution could be longer/more climatic in a sense!
As a mystery genre, you’ve successfully enticed your audience of wanting to continue reading your story to the end! This film will serve as a good reminder to uphold our morales!
Wow… Its a really interesting story… It’s like Paul would be in the prison of his guilt for the rest of his life. Who can free him? And the worst part is, he can’t tell anyone about what he had done. it’s crazy. And yes, often people do crazy things for money. Maybe you could end the story by maybe he being overwhelmed by the guilt that it leads to his own death? 🙂 I felt that there has to be proper closure to your story… But good job with the connections, and the concept is really good.
Hey Fiona! Your story was very thrilling to read. As Joy has mentioned, I’m interested to know who can ‘free’ Paul from his ‘prison of guilt’. But if this were to be made into a film, I can imagine myself feeling very conflicted and feeling for your main character, whose need and desperation for money grew into greed for money. Perhaps that sort of character arc (which is already present) can be expanded upon in the earlier parts of the story! 🙂
Hi Fiona! I’m a fan of thriller and mysteries, so i really liked the premise of the story! It’s an interesting way re-presenting the story of the pied piper as well! However, like the others mentioned, I am a bit confused about the identity of the mystery man. Perhaps you could hint at his relationship to Mich? I think this would add more layers to the story and make it longer so that there’s a greater build up before the climax!
Hi Fiona! I love the warped effect that the poster is illustrated! Regarding the story, I feel that the concept is pretty strong and to venture in psychological guilt can make the visuals really chaotic and the climax can create a real thrill ride for the audience! Cheers!
Hi Fiona, there’s something about your story that sets an enigmatic and sombre tone which I really like! I can picture the look and concept of your story especially since it dives into something a little more psychological. I agree with the others that the mystery man could be established a bit more, and how he came into Paul’s world!