Tag: Self

The camera may record accurately but it is people who choose what and how it records. Photography appears to offer truth when in reality it can portray any manipulative or suggestive statement. Photography is a powerful media tool capable of persuasion and propaganda. A photograph need only be sufficiently plausible so that it appears to offer the truth. 

 -(Galer, 2004)

Here are my initial exploration and research for the first 4D project, CURATING SELF. Check out the final work here! 

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◊ TASK 1 ◊

Originally I was quite conflicted about how to go about doing the first task. I tend to think a lot so I made some mind maps to streamline some ideas of mine. 

There were multiple ways to curate myself. Do I want to show the real me that nobody sees? Do I want to show the me that I want others to see? Do I want to show who I think I am? Do I want to show physical traits or my personality? After consultation with Lei, I finally had a focus to work on. She pointed out that a recurring theme was reflection, as seen from my explorations in my visual journal (pictures will be spread throughout this post). This means that in three pictures I could show a reflection of myself in others, a reflection of others in myself, and finally a reflection of my true self. These artists were part of my exploration for task 1. 

◊ NAN GOLDIN ◊

Nan Goldin did not care about good photographs, what she wanted was complete honesty. Goldin has captivated me in her idea of capturing one’s essence and true self rather than a perceived personality. This particular photograph inspired me to play around with the idea of mirrors.

Mirrors have deep symbolic meaning. When they were first discovered, their uncanny ability to imitate reality propelled them to become a necessity as a means of personal assurance of oneself. Some meanings or symbols that mirrors could have/represent are:

• Narcissism
• Reflection of true self
• Truth/Lie
• Purity
• Desire
• Influence

After brainstorming, I find that one quality of mine could be well represented with mirrors. As a person I am able to influence others as well as I am easily influenced by others. This could be a illustrated as a reflection of myself in others and a reflection of others in me. My very first idea was to reflect my face in a mirror in a shot featuring a friend of mine. Here are some test shots. 

In the end, I managed to find the right angle to hold the mirror such that my arm would not be distracting. I held the mirror above the frame of the picture.

    

◊ CINDY SHERMAN ◊

Cindy Sherman’s photographs feature herself in many different characters and settings. I personally like her untitled film stills as there is a wide range of characters that she was able to portray through costume, props and setting. Her framing techniques also invoke a sense of presence of other characters out of the frame, even though she is usually alone in the photograph.

I tried to evoke the same feeling of presence of other characters in the room although I did not include them in the shot. In reality I was alone in the room. Through these photos I was trying to portray myself as an affable person. I tried both high and low angle too to portray myself as down-to-earth/dominant. In the end I did not use any pictures based on Sherman’s photographs.

◊ IRVING PENN ◊ CHRIS BUCK ◊

Irving Penn interests me as he could clearly show his subjects at a very vulnerable stance, as he catches them off-guard in his photos. I thought that through capturing myself unaware of the camera shooting, in a sense, could show a hint of the real me, and not posing for the camera. 

Chris Buck’s self portraits are amusing at first glance. He photographs a miniature plastic version of himself with objects or in settings like the dentist. I interpreted this as him showing how small he feels when confronted with these objects or subjected to these situations. He could be facing alcoholism, and feels intimidated by the problem. He could also be scared of performing in front of an audience, hence the trumpet. The dentist scene should be self explanatory by now. Through this, I thought of how I could also define myself through my fears or imperfections. 

In the end, I also did not use these as my references.

◊ METRA BRUNO AND LAURENCE JEANSON ◊

Metra Bruno and Laurence Jeanson’s “Identity Project” shows clearly the juxtaposition of everyday humans and the images imposed to us through advertisements and media. I thought that the method creates visually striking images and could also show how there are parts of myself that are not me or are obtained from other people through influence. In the above page I used cutouts from magazines. Below, I decided to use facial features from my friends to show how I am influenced by them.

   

The mouth represents how the way I speak is usually influenced by the people I spend my time with. I pick up accents and slangs from many of my friends. The eye represents how I am able to see from that person’s point of view after spending my time with them and talking to them. It looks a little bit unnatural as sometimes these influences are not lasting and are sometimes not my true self, however I am usually comfortable with it, hence in the final photo I am seen to have a smiling face. (Final photo in final work post!!)

Here is a behind the scene shot of the setup outside my room.

Here are some other shots that I experimented on, but did not use in the end.

From top left clockwise, shots of the youth mark on my left shoulder, more shots of the youth mark showing how I used to not be confident of it, shots of various physical appearances that are representative of me, scrapped idea of tears on acrylic sheets, battle scars, snapshots of self portrait gifs, cling wrap exploration showing stress.

Another scrapped idea is of me surrounded by clouds in a deliberate studio setting. 

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◊ TASK 2 ◊

I was much more certain about task 2 in terms of what I wanted to portray. I knew that the object would have to be my crochet needle and yarn, which I take as one object, as they come as a set for me. They were a huge part of my life in 2015 because crochet was my medium for my A Level final work. I distinctly remember spending all the time crocheting: while I walk, in class, in the bus, before sleep. It was a newly acquired skill and I was struggling a little bit with it at first, but eventually I grew to love it, and it also helped me come to terms and cope with some family medical problems.

Originally I wanted to show how much time I spent crocheting by photographing me crocheting in various places and situations. However, I decided to show the transition between hating to loving the art instead. (Final photos here!!!) Here are some behind the scenes photos of the shoot.

From left to right: Set-up for the top down shoot, backdrop set-up featuring my curtains, close-up of crochet backdrop.

I went back to my JC to get Metastasis, my final work for A Levels. I took the pieces and pinned them up on the curtain. Originally it was supposed to be on the floor and shot from a higher ground, i.e. the second floor. However, as my friend could not make it to help me at the last minute, I decided to make do with the curtain. I call the backdrop Metastasis 2.0, and it is still up there because I am too lazy to take it down HAHA

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◊ TASK 3 ◊

Like task 2, I was clearer in terms of direction. Obviously, I cannot take photographs of my house or other significant places back in my home country, Indonesia. Instinctively I thought of the hostels that I had stayed in as significant places in my life in Singapore thus far. I have always identified myself through the school/institution I was studying in at that moment of time. The hostels that I stay in are my temporary homes in Singapore, and I do everything in my hostels. This is what made me want to feature my hostels in Singapore for this task.

Lei advised me to have a common visual or concept behind the photographs in this series, for example doors. At first I wanted to do corridors or my room doors, but I realised that I am no longer able to access my previous rooms in the hostels. Also, I only had time to do the shoot at night, so I was a bit worried about getting decent pictures, and also about the overall concept.

The shoot itself became quite meaningful to me as it was the first time I went to visit some of these places in a long time. From NTU, I traveled to Changi, and then Dunman High School Hostel (Junior College period) in Mountbatten, Anderson Junior College Hostel (Secondary school period) in Ang Mo Kio, and finally back to Hall 2 in NTU. I wanted to go to Parry Hall in Kovan too, as it was my first ever home in Singapore (even though I only stayed there for two months), but could not find the time to. At Dunman, I got to chat with the security uncle and auntie whom I grew close to during my stay there. It was a very heartwarming feeling as I have not seen them in a long time. I did not know anyone who was still staying in AJCH, so it felt quite alienating as I did not even have the authority to go into my “home” anymore. However, in all cases, there was a common feeling of warmth that a home gives. This is what I tried to show in the end. The buildings that I show in the photographs are the first landmarks I see on my way home that really tells me that “I am home”. Like a lighthouse, these landmarks draw me back and show the way home for me, as usually I would arrive back at the hostel at night. Usually tired from school, these landmarks are the bright, warm indications that I am finally “home”, where I can rest, even if it’s a temporary home.

I tried documenting my journey home to Dunman High School Hostel.

From left to right: Inside the security guardhouse where I chatted with the security uncle and auntie who were like my grandparents, the guardhouse as seen on my way back.

I decided that the landmark to photograph would be the guardhouse, as it not only gave me a sense of security, but I always feel welcomed when I get back to the hostel. This trip to Dunman was the point that inspired me to portray these landmarks in my hostels as the light in the dark. 

    

This was also a consideration for the visuals that I wanted to portray: Behind the fences, these previous “homes” are no longer accessible to me, and I am no longer welcomed. However, this could only be applied to Dunman High School Hostel and Anderson Junior College Hostel. Hence I did not use this idea.

I also wanted to include Changi Airport as the start and end of the series, but decided not to in the end because the pictures were too different from the rest of the photographs that I decided to use in this task.

In terms of technique, I had to take many shots to finally get the effect that I wanted. I did this by adjusting the ISO and the shutter speed settings, to mimic the dramatic lighting that Cindy Sherman employs in her photographs. Sadly, I forgot to document what the settings I used were.

Check out the final selection here!!

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While this project was a fun one, I did face a lot of stress in terms of time management and focusing on an idea to be built upon. I will need to be clearer in my decision making in the future.

There was a lack of visual continuity in the first and second task. Compared to the strong visual connection in the third task, task 1 looks like they were three random pictures put together. 

I also feel like I did not experiment enough on vantage point, although I did explore on framing techniques and angles (high, low, dutch tilt). I was too focused on the concept and did not give enough attention as to how I should produce the photographs. This is a learning point for upcoming projects.

Overall, I am glad to say that I have finished Project 1, and that I have rediscovered my identity and existence in Singapore, all the while learning how to use the camera again. Time for the next project! (dies)