My line is Emo

Helloooooo! So my story for this project is about my driving lesson (which I took for quite some time, in fact very long to pass my practical test *sobs*).  And throughout  all of the emotions, I use the deconstructing method to create it. Like I will think about the things relating to the emotion or what causes me to feel that emotion. So lets startttttt!

Last few years, when I just turned 18 years old, I wanted to register for my driving lesson badly. Some of the reasons:

  1. When my older brother turned 18, my parents bought him to Bukit Batok Driving Centre to apply for his driving lesson. So I was hopping my parents would do the same.
  2. So of my friends (same age) are learning or have passed their driving licence. So I wish I could be like them too.
Jealous

This is why I use an aluminium foil to interpret jealousy. It is like what I see in them, I also want to be like them. So it’s like a reflection. And the lines depicts the jealousy that starts to grow and spreading along the aluminium foil.

Then one fine beautiful day, my parents give me the green light to apply for my driving lesson. Bu they told me to take manual licence  because when you have manual, you can drive manual and auto cars. That was the reason they gave me, so I said okay whiteout much thoughts in it as I was excited to apply for it.

On my first lesson, I was like a blur sotong who does not have knowledge in cars. So I was like why do they have gears, why need to change gear according to the speed, how does this clutch pedal works etc.

Curiosity

When I was doing this emotion, I did not visually think of the outcome. I just did layers of transparency freely. This is for me to raise curiosity about the outcome if it.

So I used marker on transparency. The 1st layer, which is at the bottom represent clutch. 2nd layer represent the gear manual. And the third layer, at the top represent clutch pedal.

As a beginner in driving, I didn’t know much stuff about driving and all the manual stuff. So it was very difficult for me to drive the car. And as a learner, I can’t escape from doing mistakes because mistakes are stepping stones to improve ourselves.

Panic

So when I was driving on the road (because I took private classes), I did a lot of mistakes while driving. When that happens, I start to panic and my mind will go haywire. This represents the bus strokes. But as a driver, when you panic, you need to quickly recover from it. Hence you need to relax and calm down which represent the weaving technique.

When I was learning, I keep repeating the same mistakes which makes me frustrated with myself. Like why can’t I learn from my mistakes and improve on my driving – I ask myself this a lot of times.

Frustration

So I used different types of sand paper to show roughness and the different layers of frustrations. At the last/bottom layer,  it has white marks in it. This is to show that I tend not to show that frustrated until it reaches the maximum level. Why did I cut out those shape? it is because when I get frustrated, my brows will automatic frown and my voice will rise (it is a physiology fact actually). Hence using that, I deconstruct it and it creates that shape. (More in my journal)

During my first driving test, I took it as a trail as I know that I was going to fail. So I didn’t have hopes and expectations to pass. But after that test, I practice as hard as I could, hopping that I could pass my second test. But I failed again.

Disappointed

I was so disappointed with myself, as I already set an expectation of myself. When I reach home, I can feel that my parents and siblings are disappointed too, but they did not show it. Instead they say it’s ok, you can try again.

The paper cut represent that they are disappointed, but they did not show it. However, I could feel that they are disappointed. Behind the paper cut is the disappointment and hope that have on me. It is all crashed silently into pieces.

One day, my mum took out her driving license results. Similarly to me, she did not pass her driving on her first & second test. Instead she took her third test and pass it. When we were both looking at our result, we found out that we had similar mistakes which causes us to fail.

Hope

Hence, my mum was my hope not give up. In this emotion, there are 2 figure and the lines are from thin to thick. The thinner lines represent me getting knowledge and experience through my mum which is the thicker line.

So eventually, I pass my driving licence after all the hardships and challenges.

Red lines depicts a car

All the emotions are linked with a black strings. All the emotions happened in the past, and the black strings represent my future.

The strings are connected with black pins which represents my step by step goals to achieve what I want in the future. It depicts a car, to be specific, I wanted a Mini Cooper car as it its my dream car. You can see how I deconstruct a Mini Cooper into 8 pins and a strings.

Overall view of all the 6 emotions