After getting some feedback by Jesse and some of my classmates, here is the edited version of the script:
And here’s my first animatic. The scene starts after the climax, where the main character, Saira was hunted down by an officer in her doorstep. And she gets dragged to the police station where she is asked about her “breaking” the ceramic while she was in the museum previously.
mediums used for storyboarding: pencil sketches, pen, water colour
voiceovers: Gloria and Nic
sound effects: from Youtube
Logline: A foreigner visits a ceramics museum in Indonesia and finds herself put behind bars for committing an act that she did not do.
Synopsis: A foreigner enters a museum and finds herself arrested for breaking a museum piece. She was taken to the police station and forced to pay a big fine. The reason behind her arrest appeared absurd to Saira, and little by little she realizes female solo travelers were arrested in the same way Saira was. With two foreign women stuck in the same jail cell as her, the three of them discuss an escape route to get out of the place before anything worse happens to them.
Suggestions from peers:
– Provide reasons why the two young boys support police in scam of tourists
– Reasons could include a political corruption, or bribery culture within the police community that no one seems to be bothered about
– another possible reason; human trafficking
– jailing of three women
– if we are going to mention police corruption, why is that so
– police abusing their power
– even young boys are aware that even though they are on the policemen’s side, they are also victims to this too.
– at beginning, Saira should be portrayed as the bad girl and security guy as a bad guy. Purpose: viewers would form impressions, and this can be changed throughout the story.
Prompt: They would not leave me alone.
We had to use a metaphor/ symbol in this story; one that we came up on our own.
If you guessed it right, I used the curling and scrunching of the telephone cord as a metaphor. I used it because there is tone of annoyance and frustration on the protagonist’s part, during her call with her mother. Instead of expressing it outwardly to her mum, she keeps her tone neutral while she was on the phone, as she did not like the idea of her mum reminder her about her husband’s treatment. So, I thought using the telephone cord is a way for viewers to hint at how the protagonist is actually feeling.
- Need to put clear borders for storyboard ( basics of storyboarding requires order)
- Incomplete drawings
- Some said the metaphor used was good, but it would be better if it did not take up the whole space (composition-wise) , and instead vary perspective /composition
- As point 3, there is a repetition of subject matters put at centre – composition.
The scene starts at 35:00 mark.
In Blue Jasmine, Jasmine plays the main protagonist. In this scene, Jasmine works as a receptionist at a clinic and finds it hard to keep up with demanding clients. Her job is to inform the clients of their follow-up appointment dates and from this scene, she is portrayed as someone who is annoyed. On top of that, Jasmine is also taking computer class to keep up with her IT skills, and likewise, she finds it hard to keep up with that as well.
Based on the scenes I’ve drawn out, there is a use of different cuts. They are mainly
1) Over the shoulder cuts ( 2 or more characters ; one’s back facing us but other is direct)
2) Scene 4,5,7 is the same camera angle facing Jasmine, but they are put together with 6,8, 10 whose angle is facing the female client.
3) As scenes, progress from 3-10, there are more close-up shots. This close-up shot shows the growing tension between Jasmine and customer.
4) Similarly, this scene is cut into the computer class. The scene cuts from full-body shot of a trainer. This is from one-point perspective – from the way camera is positioned it directed our eyes to the subject in middle.
5) Then, the scene jumps to a cut where there’s a row of students by computer, with Jasmine in mid-shot. Camera zoom in closer to her, giving her further close-up shot. Like the previous scene, it also portrays tension between her and trainer. There’s always 2 subject matters, in both places, Jasmine’s true emotions are protrayed clearly.
6) From Scene 15-22, we see a cuts which jump from Jasmine to this other client. As compared to previous scenes, these shots are still and do not move. Instead Jasmine and client are given medium shots each.