WOULD YOU CALL IT REBELLION?
I was born into a Buddhist family. My family is really religious and since young, God and spirituality has fascinated me a lot.
Component 3 #1
The many Gods at home are presented with many details signifying how majestic it was to younger me. The blue tint is to represent the amazement I had towards the concept of Gods.
As i got older, Buddhism became a practice that felt very much like a routine and I never really knew the significance behind what i was practicing.
Component 3 #2
The alters almost seem to have blended into the house. This was brought out with seemingly almost having nothing in the focal point. The brown tint is to represent how I was starting to grow numb towards the religion.
When I was in secondary school, things started to change. Long story short- I knew I was going to be a religious convert.
However, when you are placed in a family that is super religious, it just wasn’t going to be easy. I wanted to reflect this through Component 2.
The item I chose was a lighted up Buddhist red candle because it represented the light of wisdom illuminating the darkness of ignorance which points down to the enlightenment of Buddha and the core essence of buddhism.
In Component 2, there is a gradient red tint over the photos because it is meant to signal movement and hence the passage of time- time it took to get my parents to let me practice my faith.
Component 2 #1
The crop was to bring focus to the wax on my hand and the action of breaking the candle. The wax on my hand represented that even if I was going to get burnt and hurt, I would still fight, represented by the breaking of the “Buddhism practice”, for what I believed in.
Component 2 #2
Throughout this period, I felt like my parent’s faith was placed more important than mine hence the candle takes the middle position and I was ditched to the side. This shot was taken top down to paint myself as a victim- victim to the harsh and brutal words of my parents. Further emphasised with the kneeling position.
But I wasn’t just going to succumb to it- hence the eyes is staring straight into the camera to present the fight I still had in me.
Component 2 #3
With this going on, a really small part of me (hence the size relative to the A4) knew I had to try to honour and love my parents at this time. This was shown through the approaching kiss towards the candle. I have purposely cropped away the face because I wanted to signal the unwillingness I faced and how I didn’t want to face reality.
As time progresses, I’m so glad to b able to say that things are improving
and I’m able to practice my faith at home back.
Component 3 #3
This is depicted with me back-facing the alter and in a surrender position (hand raised, kneeled down, hand placed over heart) towards my own God. It is green tinted to show that I might have my own freedom now but I’m still growing in my element.
Now, I’m trying to teach my parents that
I’m a sinner
Component 1 #1
This position is to get the viewers to make their own meaning of sin- potentially it could represent lust yet it could also represent a shot of distress. I have cropped out my eyes because I am not proud of this side of me either. It is black tinted to signal that there is bad sides of me.
But I pray, repent and learn from my mistakes represented by the multiple me(s). Now, after a gruelling process (seen through my emotions), I am made clean by God’s grace, hence the white tint representing purity.
Component 1 #2
Proud to say I am now the King’s daughter.
Component 1 #3
The blanket shows the relief I feel. Shaping it to look like a throne and the purple tint hints royalty.
The process of me fighting to stand up what I believe in has allowed the old me to change (Component 2 growing smaller) and the new and better me to blossom (Component 1 growing big). Lastly, I am now changed. (Hence, the orientation on the last photo has changed.)
Thank you for reading. I have really enjoyed this project and it has properly allowed me to reflect on this phase of my life. Story aside, I have also managed to pick up many technical aspects as well. Once again, really grateful!